Your thoughts on a feeding tube

I have been struggling with this for a while now.

Little Buddy is in bad shape with cancer. He rebounded after the surgery that the doctor could do nothing about with the tumors. Buddy had a feeding tube put in.

Buddy was eating up a storm for a while but has now gone back to barely eating. I have been giving him water and vitamins through his feeding tube.

He shows small burst of energy and is looking for love, which he gets. These short times are so nice but he has gone to just resting and staring into space. I was able to make a mixture of food tonight that he took a few nibbles of.

What gets me is he gets excited when I get food made up for him but he'll get over to the food and just stare at it. It is like he knows if he eats it, he'll feel bad. It is so frustrating and disappointing. I want him so much to eat the food.

This brings me to the question. If Buddy won't, or can't, eat food, do I force feed him with the feeding tube? I am of the feeling that if you don't want to eat, then you have given up. With Buddy, it sure seems like he wants to eat, but doesn't. He tries though.

I am in such a quandary on what to do. We are going to the vet Thursday morning. I know Buddy's doctor is going to say that the cancer is fast moving. I just can't deal with seeing Buddy actually have these bursts of energy and just loving the love I give him and then having to suffer in not wanting to eat and then just staring into space like he is looking for something that I don't know what to give him.

Sorry, but I thought this would be a good place to ask and now I got tears in my eyes. I guess I just had to put thoughts into words.

Thank you.

I honestly wish I could give you the answer you are looking for, but only you know what that is. It is such a hard decision.
I am so, so sorry you are having to go through this.

All I can say is that in your situation, I think I'd let go (and I have been there).

Prayers and good thoughts your way, regardless of your choice.

Mark, you are so very dear to me, and I know right now how your heart is hurting, and I know how much you love Buddy.

Just know that whatever you decide to do I will be with you in spirit. You were there with me when we had to make the decision with Sambo.

I am sending prayers and hugs from Mississippi for you and Buddy.



Pm me or call me if you need me, you know that me and Jimmy are always here for you.

It is so hard because I know Buddy's mind is so alert and he just can't do anything because his body is just not cooperating. It is so hard.

Mark, I am so sorry you have to make this decision I can't even imagine what you are going through. I wish I had an easy answer for you, I really do, my heart is breaking for you. All I can say is let Buddy tell you, and follow your heart. Remember you have a lot of people here on TCS that are here for support.

Hang in there Mark. Helen can give you good advice, she has a great heart.

from me and Dave.

Originally Posted by Bella713

Mark, I am so sorry you have to make this decision I can't even imagine what you are going through. I wish I had an easy answer for you, I really do, my heart is breaking for you. All I can say is let Buddy tell you, and follow your heart. Remember you have a lot of people here on TCS that are here for support.

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Great post Bella, and I agree with you, Buddy will let you know when he is ready to go to the Bridge. No one else can, not us, not the doctor, not no one but Buddy.

It seems like you have done the best that you can. Try again if you need to, but i think you should curl up with Buddy and give him all the love and attention he needs, even if he is staring into space.

It is so hard though. I know Buddy is sound in mind. He will never give up. I just hate to have to think I am the one to decide for his own good. Should I keep him going while his body says no but his mind says yes?

I'm sorry, but I am just looking for something to make me feel better in thinking on what Buddy needs since I know he will be fighting until the end. I know he will never give up. I just don't want him to be suffering in his quest.

Originally Posted by markvg

It is so hard though. I know Buddy is sound in mind. He will never give up. I just hate to have to think I am the one to decide for his own good. Should I keep him going while his body says no but his mind says yes?

I'm sorry, but I am just looking for something to make me feel better in thinking on what Buddy needs since I know he will be fighting until the end. I know he will never give up. I just don't want him to be suffering in his quest.

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Mark I do know how hard this is for you because I know you, and I know how good you are to people, and you are even better to animals.

I really hope that Buddy just gives up on his own, I hope he goes peacefully on his own. That way you never have to make that decision that I know is eating you up.

Just know that there are so many people here that have been through what you are going through. They know how your heart is breaking. They will be here for you.

I know it's hard Mark. A couple of our girls we had when i was little had melenoma on their face and they had lots of ulcers in their mouth which couldn't be fixed. All we could do was be patient, try with the food. Unfortunately if they wont eat it you can't force them, it will make them feel worse.

I know you want to hear something to cheer you up, it would be so much easier to lie to make you happy. We all go through it at some point. Like i said, spend whatever spare time you have with him, cuddle him, talk to him, tell him you love him. Maybe even try a really light massage to relax both of you. It could be more of a bonding thing even if you already are close.

Im sorry i cant help

Thank you.

I go from bad to good as the minutes go by. Arlyn, Bella713, Dragoriana, Belinda and Neet... you have all helped me get the tears out of my eyes, for now anyway.

Thank you.

Mark, I just wanted to tell you that I am thining of you. Nobody here has the answer-Buddy has the answer. Is it one type of food? Perhaps you could try another type of food that might work better for him to digest?

I'm sending big from me & the Fantabulous Five!!!

I can't answer for you. I can only answer for myself.

Last Monday I had my cat Bullseye put to sleep. He was diagnosed early in November with squamous cell carninoma. The tumor was on the top of his mouth, to the rear. After a very short time (a week) he couldn't eat without pain and so we put him on Metacam, which worked very well for almost two months. He was still a beautiful, loving cat when I let him go. The pain medication was starting not to be effective, and I decided early on that there would be no feeding tube.

I struggled with this for days. He still wanted to eat, but it was becoming harder for him. Occasionally he'd cry out and paw at his face.

That morning he layed on my chest and purred while I rubbed his belly. He spent the afternoon curled up on the futon with the other cats. He was sitting out on the deck when I went to get him to go to the vet clinic.

I know he could have lived a few more days, but I didn't want his final days to be painful.

When I worked at the vet clinic I saw animals brought in to be euthanized that broke my heart. The owners couldn't bring themselves to let go. You know Buddy. No matter how much it hurts you, put him first, and you'll know when it's time. I found some peace by not trying to plan when I would take him in. I began every morning with the belief he would be sleeping on the bed that night. And at some point your heart just tells you to let go.

Thank you all again. You have all provided so much support.

Little Buddy is waiting on the bed right now to be comforted as he has been all evening. He has relied on me for 13 years now. I have relied on him all the years too.

I know we have the bond after all this time to know. It hurts me so much to see Little Buddy this way. Little Buddy is so much loved.

We're here for you, no matter what you decide Mark!!! It must so tough to see his body withering & his mind so active!

Oh Mark, I am so sorry you are even facing this. Your Budy will let you know. You will just KNOW it, it wont be a question, you will just KNOW.

I will keep you both in my thoughts and prayers.

Still thinking of you and Buddy this morning Mark.

More from the fluffalorium and me and Dave this morning too. Hope you guys got some sleep last night.

This is such a sad post, but I just wanted to say my heart goes out to you and Buddy. I have been there too, and there is nothing so difficult.