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Regarding Amber, John and the baby
- Thread starter Anne
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Innocent til proven guilty is all I'll say.
Having lost a child and a grandchild, I can tell you unless you have been through something of that magnitude, you cannot know what is going on right now. Those of you that haven't, consider yourself lucky. Then imagine the worst thing you can happening to you RIGHT AT THIS MOMENT WITHOUT ANY NOTICE, and that still will not prepare you for it. Those of you who have been in the same situation, you will understand how complicated and VERY PRIVATE things need to be sometimes.
I would hate to think that he or her family would come on here reading this stuff and people have been making wild summations and accusations based on the "lack" of information in a case where it is perfectly reasonable that there is not yet any information available. The hospitals and funeral homes have a responsibility to the family, not to the general public, to release or withhold information.
As far as any actions or lack of action, as I said before, unless you have been in that kind of situation (and I pray that you never are), please don't second guess what anyone might be going through and what you or anyone else things they should or should not be doing. Trust me, there is no handbook for grief.
Having lost a child and a grandchild, I can tell you unless you have been through something of that magnitude, you cannot know what is going on right now. Those of you that haven't, consider yourself lucky. Then imagine the worst thing you can happening to you RIGHT AT THIS MOMENT WITHOUT ANY NOTICE, and that still will not prepare you for it. Those of you who have been in the same situation, you will understand how complicated and VERY PRIVATE things need to be sometimes.
I would hate to think that he or her family would come on here reading this stuff and people have been making wild summations and accusations based on the "lack" of information in a case where it is perfectly reasonable that there is not yet any information available. The hospitals and funeral homes have a responsibility to the family, not to the general public, to release or withhold information.
As far as any actions or lack of action, as I said before, unless you have been in that kind of situation (and I pray that you never are), please don't second guess what anyone might be going through and what you or anyone else things they should or should not be doing. Trust me, there is no handbook for grief.
Very well said. I still believe this is a hoax. Too many things just don't add up.
That is exactly what Iam thinking. I thought that from day one but just didnt want to say anything, because if it was for real, it would have been so disheartning to see, or hear. Sorry I hope that makes sense.
I'm just seeing this thread. I was beginning to get suspicious because I kept checking the Kansas City Star for an obit, and never found one. Even though most newspapers charge for obits, I would think if a pregnant young woman died so suddenly, the family would pay for the obit just so her friends would know. This just seemed weird to me.
Also, as "John" described it, it seems like there should have been an autopsy to uncover a cause - the falls? the auto accident? Just really strange.
Thank you for looking into it.
Also, as "John" described it, it seems like there should have been an autopsy to uncover a cause - the falls? the auto accident? Just really strange.
Thank you for looking into it.
Well said Nita.......and I think we all still hope it turns out to not be a hoax...
Well said Nita and I agree and further more if it is true alot of people will be feeling bad, passing judgement without proof is by far not fair. ILike I sadi I myself have lived it also, there are no rules .
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Didn't he say the baby had a feeding tube and C-Pap on nose to help with breathing? Well, I can guarantee that the baby would have been covered in monitors if she had. Didn't see any tubing in those photos, either!
Very strange, indeed. It does look like the last activity of Amber was on Jan 25--her death day????? And John last came aboard on Jan 28--was that when he was confronted?
I'm not a regular on here, have recently begun posting in earnest. However, the whole drama swept me up over the weekend. I've known of other fakes on other message boards. Unfortunately, they are far too common. This one, if true, really takes the cake, however.
Cally
Very strange, indeed. It does look like the last activity of Amber was on Jan 25--her death day????? And John last came aboard on Jan 28--was that when he was confronted?
I'm not a regular on here, have recently begun posting in earnest. However, the whole drama swept me up over the weekend. I've known of other fakes on other message boards. Unfortunately, they are far too common. This one, if true, really takes the cake, however.
Cally
Sorry if I missed it, but what part of MO are they "supposedly" from???
Originally Posted by kittylover4ever
Well said Nita.......and I think we all still hope it turns out to not be a hoax...
Thanks girls.
Ok, well I'm gullible and believed it all... I had a few doubts about things but never put it all together but now....
1. She joined in August and in September said she was pregnant, and was a couple of months along. So say she was 3 months pregnant then - she's still only be 7 months along. In the initial post (reading back now), she said the doctor told her he could "take care of it" if she didn't want to to be pregnant, which sounds a bit fishy - if she was 3 months along would they stil do it? If she was only 2 months, she'd only be 6 months pregnant.
2. I don't know any guy who would hang around if a girl he'd been dating for a month said she was pregnant with someone else's baby. For that matter I don't know any guy who would be keen to try and take care of someone else's baby. I was very surprised when he was so keen to do it still.
3. The baby so didn't look preemie, or like he had a black father. A friends baby was 4lb 10oz, and was so much smaller than the one posted.
4. John never called the baby Kaelyn which I thought was weird.
Now that this has been said, and I've thought about it, I wonder if all the dramas she went through were just a way to get us more emotionally involved in her story and "set us up". I mean, the broken pelvis, her broken wrist and elbow (that was all very bizarre, surely you wouldn't do that in a day), the fact she didn't mention on here about the horrible pains the day before she "died", even though she was posting on here. Any mother in that much pain would go straight to hospital. Any partner would send her there immediately as well.
Yup, I realise now I've been taken for a ride
I was going to make a decent donation to them as well.
Thank you all the sceptics out there who doubted the story and did more research into it
1. She joined in August and in September said she was pregnant, and was a couple of months along. So say she was 3 months pregnant then - she's still only be 7 months along. In the initial post (reading back now), she said the doctor told her he could "take care of it" if she didn't want to to be pregnant, which sounds a bit fishy - if she was 3 months along would they stil do it? If she was only 2 months, she'd only be 6 months pregnant.
2. I don't know any guy who would hang around if a girl he'd been dating for a month said she was pregnant with someone else's baby. For that matter I don't know any guy who would be keen to try and take care of someone else's baby. I was very surprised when he was so keen to do it still.
3. The baby so didn't look preemie, or like he had a black father. A friends baby was 4lb 10oz, and was so much smaller than the one posted.
4. John never called the baby Kaelyn which I thought was weird.
Now that this has been said, and I've thought about it, I wonder if all the dramas she went through were just a way to get us more emotionally involved in her story and "set us up". I mean, the broken pelvis, her broken wrist and elbow (that was all very bizarre, surely you wouldn't do that in a day), the fact she didn't mention on here about the horrible pains the day before she "died", even though she was posting on here. Any mother in that much pain would go straight to hospital. Any partner would send her there immediately as well.
Yup, I realise now I've been taken for a ride
Thank you all the sceptics out there who doubted the story and did more research into it
I'm soo shocked...
But I'll play devil's advocate... I'm a bit too trusting.. But maybe just maybe there is more hear then we know.. Maybe he did need an outlet to talk to us about. I don't know..
If this was a hoax or scam,, what a horrible horrible thing to do to people.. It couldn't had paid off all the time and post they had put into this... It's shocking..
But I'll play devil's advocate... I'm a bit too trusting.. But maybe just maybe there is more hear then we know.. Maybe he did need an outlet to talk to us about. I don't know..
If this was a hoax or scam,, what a horrible horrible thing to do to people.. It couldn't had paid off all the time and post they had put into this... It's shocking..
Well, I did go back and read her posts and here's what I found:
She joined here about Aug. 26, 2006. She said she didn't know she was pregnant until Sept. after she met John. Had ultrasound and said she was about 16-18 weeks pregnant, believe that was late Sept. Said she was having weird periods, so didn't think she was pregnant. Said baby due late February. Had appt. for ultrasound Feb. 27 and they were going to take her gallbladder at the same time.
Had auto accident in Nov. or Dec. John broke pelvis and was hospitalized for some time. Other person at fault and received ticket. About a week before she "died" she fell on the ice 3 times in one day, with 2 trips to ER - broken thumb and broken arm.
What I'm wondering is can admin - Anne? - check IPs to see if 4crazycats has been online since Jan. 25? I think if this is a hoax she would want to see what kind of reaction she has stirred up.
As Anne said, there has been no confirmation of the story either way so everything else is speculation.
I think this is a perfect example of why we should all be careful about taking action too quickly, to give ourselves time to think more clearly and get more facts before we start taking up collections of monies or gifts for people on the internet we don't personally know.
TCS is a loving and caring community as we all know. I think we are blessed to have the kind of members we have but that also makes us very vulnerable to people who would prey on these wonderful members.
Since Anne doesn't know for sure if this is a hoax, I say let us not be judgmental and accusatory. If this is/was a hoax, nothing bad has come of it at least and some good came of it for some needy animals.
I think this is a perfect example of why we should all be careful about taking action too quickly, to give ourselves time to think more clearly and get more facts before we start taking up collections of monies or gifts for people on the internet we don't personally know.
TCS is a loving and caring community as we all know. I think we are blessed to have the kind of members we have but that also makes us very vulnerable to people who would prey on these wonderful members.
Since Anne doesn't know for sure if this is a hoax, I say let us not be judgmental and accusatory. If this is/was a hoax, nothing bad has come of it at least and some good came of it for some needy animals.
Kansas City, I believe. I saw her mention it in one of her posts - I think when she was the spotlight of the week.
Wow..I don't know what to think. Alot of you know that I'm relatively new and don't know everyone, so when I read that Amber had died, I had to send a few PM's and find out what happened just so I was up to speed and could offer condolences.
I found out that Amber was someone I had done a siggy for a few days before, so I was familiar with her. I did find it strange that all of a sudden she had passed away. I know that things happen during labor, but in this day and age you don't hear about it as much so it just seemed a bit odd. What also seemed strange was as some had said was that John was on here posting updates quite a bit. I can understand if it was a mutual site that they both frequented and he wanted to make sure that the people who were friends with her knew what was going on. It's something I would probably do. Heck, my wife doesn't even go on TCS and I'd probably put my username and password in my will just so she could come back and let everyone know what happened. But still, I thought he was here a bit too much.
The last thing I thought was odd, and again, I haven't been caught up on all the details and I'm not one to judge other people's lives, but the baby's father is someone other than John yet they were engaged. So that means that in a 9 month period she would've had to gotten pregnant, broken up with the father or whatever the case may be and then gotten engaged to John? It just seems alittle strange to me, but again, I don't judge others.
I do hope that this is not a hoax and if it is I'd like to know, were John and Amber the same people? Was she in on it if they were seperate people? etc... I do feel a bit stupid now for feeling sad about it, thinking that like the rest of us, I may have been had, but if that's the case, it's just the unfortunate reality of the world we live in.
I just want to say though that I know I have been 100% honest about myself to people, and I'm still a pretty trusting person against the people that I know here, but unfortunately it will make me put my guard up a bit.
I found out that Amber was someone I had done a siggy for a few days before, so I was familiar with her. I did find it strange that all of a sudden she had passed away. I know that things happen during labor, but in this day and age you don't hear about it as much so it just seemed a bit odd. What also seemed strange was as some had said was that John was on here posting updates quite a bit. I can understand if it was a mutual site that they both frequented and he wanted to make sure that the people who were friends with her knew what was going on. It's something I would probably do. Heck, my wife doesn't even go on TCS and I'd probably put my username and password in my will just so she could come back and let everyone know what happened. But still, I thought he was here a bit too much.
The last thing I thought was odd, and again, I haven't been caught up on all the details and I'm not one to judge other people's lives, but the baby's father is someone other than John yet they were engaged. So that means that in a 9 month period she would've had to gotten pregnant, broken up with the father or whatever the case may be and then gotten engaged to John? It just seems alittle strange to me, but again, I don't judge others.
I do hope that this is not a hoax and if it is I'd like to know, were John and Amber the same people? Was she in on it if they were seperate people? etc... I do feel a bit stupid now for feeling sad about it, thinking that like the rest of us, I may have been had, but if that's the case, it's just the unfortunate reality of the world we live in.
I just want to say though that I know I have been 100% honest about myself to people, and I'm still a pretty trusting person against the people that I know here, but unfortunately it will make me put my guard up a bit.
I'm soo glad a formal announcement was made. I have been wanting to say something for several days now but held off as i knew Anne was going to make one. I am one of the ones who checked into his story and i don't mind saying so. At one point, i was going to send things for the baby and wanted to verify everything before doing so. I went online and looked up the address he gave me to- the one where "Amber" supposedly lived- only to find that there was no record of her. At that point- I called the hospital numbers he gave me claiming where the baby was at. I called 3 different numbers (and after doing so- looked up ALL of the hospitals in that area.) Not one had a record of Amber, John, or the baby. None of them. It was definitely at this point that i realized it was a hoax- but attempting to give them one last chance- i called the morgues in that area and another member called the funeral homes- No record. I also called the NICU- no record of a baby under that name ever being there. So there you have it folks- if there was any glimmer of doubt left- please know that I at least fried to verify everything to no avail. Nobody under those names in those areas are in any of the records there. I'm sorry. I know ya'll got as invested into this story as i did. What made me curious before i ever did the calling around was that first picture posted of Kaelyn- if you notice in the background there are flowers, chocolate, and a card....Who would give that to someone who had just lost the mom? Also- John supposedly claimed that he was extremely allergic to flowers when members asked if they could send some to the funeral home- see...things don't add up. There were a few other things like that which really lead me to believe it was a hoax (i had NEVER heard of anyone faking an online death before this so it was quite a shock for me. I just don't understand the reasoning behind it.) Once i called around and checked up on the story- that was proof enough for me to know it was a hoax. I wanted to tell ya'll sooner...but i knew a formal announcement was going to be made and thought it was best to let Anne do so after she had also researched as well so i was not the only one. I am sorry we all cried and mourned over this story when it was only a hoax. I am still infuriated over the entire thing.
From what I read I think she was abt. 4 months pregnant when she found out for sure. There are cases of women giving birth without knowing they are pregnant, so I wouldn't necessarily be suspicious about that part. Her timelines made sense to me when I went through her threads.
The part that bothered me the most was 1) no obit, 2) no talk after the auto accident about insurance settlement that would pay for John's inability to work, if the accident wasn't his fault, 3) no talk of what may have caused this mysterious internal bleeding that caused her "death."
Thank you for doing what you did. That was brave of you.Originally Posted by StarryEyedTiGeR
I'm soo glad a formal announcement was made. I have been wanting to say something for several days now but held off as i knew Anne was going to make one. I am one of the ones who checked into his story and i don't mind saying so. At one point, i was going to send things for the baby and wanted to verify everything before doing so. I went online and looked up the address he gave me to- the one where "Amber" supposedly lived- only to find that there was no record of her. At that point- I called the hospital numbers he gave me claiming where the baby was at. I called 3 different numbers (and after doing so- looked up ALL of the hospitals in that area.) Not one had a record of Amber, John, or the baby. None of them. It was definitely at this point that i realized it was a hoax- but attempting to give them one last chance- i called the morgues in that area and another member called the funeral homes- No record. I also called the NICU- no record of a baby under that name ever being there. So there you have it folks- if there was any glimmer of doubt left- please know that I at least fried to verify everything to no avail. Nobody under those names in those areas are in any of the records there. I'm sorry. I know ya'll got as invested into this story as i did. What made me curious before i ever did the calling around was that first picture posted of Kaelyn- if you notice in the background there are flowers, chocolate, and a card....Who would give that to someone who had just lost the mom? Also- John supposedly claimed that he was extremely allergic to flowers when members asked if they could send some to the funeral home- see...things don't add up. There were a few other things like that which really lead me to believe it was a hoax (i had NEVER heard of anyone faking an online death before this so it was quite a shock for me. I just don't understand the reasoning behind it.) Once i called around and checked up on the story- that was proof enough for me to know it was a hoax. I wanted to tell ya'll sooner...but i knew a formal announcement was going to be made and thought it was best to let Anne do so after she had also researched as well so i was not the only one. I am sorry we all cried and mourned over this story when it was only a hoax. I am still infuriated over the entire thing.
I wanted to add my two cents, but honestly I'm not sure what my two cents are at this point. The night of the post about Amber's passing really upset me. I didn't know her personally, but I "knew" her as I feel I know many of you. I read about your lives, your kitties, etc. and I feel a connection. I mourned her that night and cried as I prepared dinner for me and my husband.
If it is in fact a hoax, I'm not just angry, but disappointed. Disappointed in myself mainly for being gullible. There were so-called warning signs as many have outlined in this thread and I won't go into them again. Things just didn't add up. I guess I'm way too trusting.
I even placed a rose from the vplaza on my posts in her memory, as did many other members. Now I look at it sitting there and wonder if it should be there at all. If it all did really happen, it will stay there as a tribute to her. If it was all a hoax, it will stay there as a reminder to be more careful next time and not to get so wrapped up before we have all the facts.
If it is in fact a hoax, I'm not just angry, but disappointed. Disappointed in myself mainly for being gullible. There were so-called warning signs as many have outlined in this thread and I won't go into them again. Things just didn't add up. I guess I'm way too trusting.
I even placed a rose from the vplaza on my posts in her memory, as did many other members. Now I look at it sitting there and wonder if it should be there at all. If it all did really happen, it will stay there as a tribute to her. If it was all a hoax, it will stay there as a reminder to be more careful next time and not to get so wrapped up before we have all the facts.
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