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Spring Classes for Men - FUNNY

post #1 of 16
Thread Starter 
A male co-worker forwarded this to me today and thought I would appreciate it due to some of the little things I complain about at work. I realize that it is a little sexist, but feel free to substitute any gender. These are classes we could probably all take and learn a little from ...


SPRING CLASSES FOR MEN
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 14, 2007

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS
MAXIMUM.


Classes begin Monday, March 5, 2007


Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays --- Step by Step, with Slide
Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.


Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.


Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and
Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? --- Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.


Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor ---
Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturday at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.


Class 5
After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen
Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.


Class 6
Loss Of Identity --- Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM.


Class 7
Learning How To Find Things --- Starting With Looking In The Right
Places
And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum .
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.


Class 8
Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.


Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost --- Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesday at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.


Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday noon, 2 hours.


Class 11
Learning to Live --- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing .
Tuesday at 7:00 PM, location to be determined.


Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours ! Beginning at 7:00 PM.


Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries
and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.


Class 14
The Stove/Oven --- What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesday at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.


Upon completion of any of the above courses, diplomas will be issued to
the survivors.



I'm personally signing my husband up for 3, 4, 5, 12, and 14.
post #2 of 16
OH MY GOD!!! that was GREAT!!
i was almost in tears!!
post #3 of 16
Class 13 sounds a little extreme

My husband thought that was hilarious.
post #4 of 16
OMG! That is hysterical!!!!!!!!!! lol thanks for the laugh tonight! lol...i'm glad Colin isn't TOO bad on all of those- but he definitely needs help on a few of them
post #5 of 16

funny, your making me stay awake for 5 more min just to answer these

SPRING CLASSES FOR MEN
REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED BY WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 14, 2007

NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS
MAXIMUM.


Classes begin Monday, March 5, 2007


Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM. ---
Ice cubes do not go with beer, so why do i need ice cube so she must have
used them all


Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself?
Blah it goes on the edge of the bath tub more easy to get to that way


Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and
Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? ---
NO its not, so there

Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor ---
If i put in the hamper what would the cats sleep on?

Class 5
After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen
Sink?
no thanks, that why i have a dish washer

Class 6
Loss Of Identity --- Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Blah you dont want us to hunt bambi so let us hunt something on TV

Class 7
Learning How To Find Things --- Starting With Looking In The Right
Places
called teach the wife not to move my toys, or how to leave stuff where i put them

Class 8
Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
We are trying to respect natural by not giving you something that will die
in a few days and then just take up space in the land fills

Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost --- Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesday at 6:00 PM Location to be determined
LIES!! i am male i never get lost. Just tempory misplaced.


Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday noon, 2 hours.
Why is she driving


Class 11
Learning to Live --- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing .
Tuesday at 7:00 PM, location to be determined.
tough one, both yell at me alot


Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion= call your best girl friend to go,

Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries
and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
.
Ok i need this one


Class 14
The Stove/Oven --- What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
if god wanted me to use the stove he would not have invented the micowave/24 hours pizza dude/chinese food brings to me home business


those are my answers now i am going to bed.,
post #6 of 16
Wow, this is hilarious!
I guess I'd enroll my fiancé for classes about finding things and differences between mum and me...cause he keeps telling me how I'm just like his mum
post #7 of 16
I will email this to Neil and suggest he pay attention to classes # 4, 5, 6, 8 & 12!!
post #8 of 16
Where can I sign my DH up
post #9 of 16
oh good gracious!! those were hilarious! and Bruce sometimes Itta needs YOU to shop with her!! you are so bad

I hope Class number 3 provides beverages
post #10 of 16
Gotta send that to my DH!
post #11 of 16
I like this one

Class 5
After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen
Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.


post #12 of 16
funny, they don't offer a class for putting your own trash and wrappers & empty plastic cups actually into the trash can, as opposed to on the table or counter top, 2 feet from the trash can!
post #13 of 16
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by LuckyGirl View Post
funny, they don't offer a class for putting your own trash and wrappers & empty plastic cups actually into the trash can, as opposed to on the table or counter top, 2 feet from the trash can!
That's one that I think should be added as well!
post #14 of 16


Those are great!!!
post #15 of 16
Hmmmmm...Ian's not really bad with any of those. Except for number 8. Although he claims it's because "the cats will eat them, puke a lot, and then you'll have to do fluids and you hate doing fluids" OR "because they're just going to die"

Ok, smarty pants. You're just going to drink the Carmel Machiatto and muffin I show up unannounced at your office with occassionally. Should I not do that?

Ian needs to take a course in "Glasses full of orange juice: A symposium on how to finish one glass at a time, then wash it or refill, rather than decorating your FW's apartment with half full ones"
post #16 of 16
Oh tooooooo funny! DH is pretty good, but there are a few classes he might like some refreshing in! They need the one on throwing used tissues in the trash, not on the livingroom/bedroom floor or at the cat!
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