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6 Reasons Not To Mess With Children

post #1 of 13
Thread Starter 
This is pretty funny.

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to
swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal, its throat
was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.
Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a
human; it was physically impossible.
The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".
The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."


A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children
while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each
child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked
what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks
like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl
replied, "They will in a minute."



A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with
her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family)
answered, "Thou shalt not kill."



The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying
to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and
say, 'There's Jennifer; she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael; he's a
doctor." A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the
teacher; she's dead."


A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood.
Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my
head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the
face." "Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position, the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."



The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic
elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table
was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
post #2 of 13
The last one is hilarious
post #3 of 13
I love the last one... the rest, I hope my students aren't that mean when thinking of me! Gulp...
post #4 of 13
These are all great!

Thanks!...its nice to have something to smile about for a change.
Hilda >^..^<
post #5 of 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hilda>^..^< View Post
These are all great!

Thanks!...its nice to have something to smile about for a change.
Hilda >^..^<
I agree Hilda, we needed something funny to laugh about.

And them jokes were hilarious.
post #6 of 13
Those were great! Thanks for sharing!
post #7 of 13
Cute! I like the cookies!
post #8 of 13
out of the mouths of babes
post #9 of 13
Love them!
post #10 of 13


I loved the "Thou shall not kill"... Sounds SOOOOOO much like Justice and Deacon!
post #11 of 13
That was pretty funny!

Thanks for sharing.
post #12 of 13
LOL!!! Those are cute.Thanks for sharing them.
post #13 of 13
very good ! I particularly like the one about God watching the Apples, all those cookies are so gone !!!!

Cheers for posting !
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