I just wanted to update you all on how Lava Girl is doing. They had to stop giving her food thru the tube today because her stomach wasnt handling it very well yet. So they are going to just keep her hydrated and then slowly start giving her formula again tomorow I think they said. But she's doing pretty well I got to hold her again and she kept staring up into my face. It was very sweet. I wish Amber could be here with me. She was always talking about when she could first hold her. She was so excited about holding her. The nurses love Kaelyn so much. They say shes already showing a very intersting personality. She's very vocal but sleeps more then most babies. They have to mess with her alot to wake her up so we can see her awake. TYhey said she hates to be swaddled and always wants to have her hands loose so she can grab her ear. I didnt get much sleep last night because I kept having dreams about Amber and Bagheera. She kept saying look John I found Bagheera. Another dream I dreamed I woke up and she was looking at me with her head tilted to the side and she said why so grumpy Mr. Frumpy? I told her I was sad because she left me and Lava Girl alone. She laughed and said John I didnt leave you I'll always be with you dont be silly. You and Lava Girl will be fine dont worry but you better take care of my animals or I will haunt you for the rest of your life. And then she turned into a weird half human half wolf.
Then I woke up. I dont know how Im going to get any sleep. Buddy keeps standing by the door crying. I just got back from the hospital again. I left because I couldnt handle being there any more. Stan and his parents came by again today. They were there when I there and it was all I could do not to attack him. He wouldnt even get near the baby. I asked him what he thought of her and he said she looks alot like Amber. I wanted to say thats all you can say. Not shes the cutest baby youve ever seen. Not she makes me sad and happy at the same time looking at her! Just she looks like Amber. His parents were nice though. They talked to me alot and asked if I knew what Amber wanted to be done with the baby. Then Ambers mom said she wanted John to have her before I could say anything. Stans mom looked at me a little weird. And Ambers mom said hes been there for Amber thru everything shes delt with this last few months and they were engaged. He is her father. I thought Stans parents would get mad but they just looked at Stan and Stan didnt even blink. He just stood there staring at me the whole time. I didnt end up signing the birth certificate because I got to thinking that might not be totally legal. Im gonna have to find out before I do anything. I asked Stan what he planned on doing and he said nothing. He didnt want and never wanted a baby. It was Ambers baby and he just came because his parents made him. So I dont know.
