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The right time to say goodbye

post #1 of 16
Thread Starter 
Hi all, I'm new to the forum...

My 13 year old cat Snow has been suffering from cancer of the nose, ears, and eye for quite a while.

His eye, in particular, has gotten really bad over the last 6 months. The vet has told me that his condition is terminal, and that nothing I do will save him.
He did give me some ointment to lessen the pain around his eye, but Snow hated it, and bolted whenever he saw me with the tube.. When I did manage to get some onto his eye, he would try and scratch me, and then disappear for the day. Obviously, even putting the cream on was painful for him, which defeated the whole purpose of using it, so I gave up.

The skin around his eye bleeds, then crusts, and leaks pus. Some days he can't open it, and other days he scratches the scabs off exposing his flesh - I don't think he has any skin there.

I know that his eye is painful, and one of his ears is becoming painful as well, but I don't know if/when it's the right time to have him put to sleep ?

Even though he's in pain, he is very very affectionate, has a good appetite, and loves a cuddle. I love him dearly, and want to do what's best for him, but I don't know if now is the time to say goodbye when he still seems so happy ??

Any advice would be greatly appreciated..
post #2 of 16
I am sorry, i dont know of any advice i could give here, I bet some of the other people here can offer something more.

However i would think that if he is still being affectionate, has a good appetite, and loves a cuddle,then it is not time yet. I am sure you and snow will know when it is that time.

Take care good luck And welcome to the site.
post #3 of 16
Hello and welcome. I am sorry you are coming to the forum at such a sad time for you and Snow. I think anyone here will tell you that you will know when it is the right time - Snow will let you know in all sorts of ways that he is ready to go. The happiness will go out of his eyes, he will lose any joy in life and he may not be able to eat, drink or groom himself. It is the hardest decision any of us have to make, but you have to balance quality of life against pain and discomfort. The only thing I can add is to think of him and what he would want at any moment - it is very easy to hang on longer than we should for our own selfish reasons and then regret it for years after.
post #4 of 16
Welcome
Quote:
Originally Posted by jennyranson View Post
I think anyone here will tell you that you will know when it is the right time - Snow will let you know in all sorts of ways that he is ready to go. The happiness will go out of his eyes, he will lose any joy in life and he may not be able to eat, drink or groom himself.
I totally agree with this. You will know. I dont think anyone here would be able to tell you how you will know but you will. Snow will let you know in some way.

I am so sorry that you & Snow are going through this difficult time. If you need someone to talk to, please know there is always someone here to listen

thinking of you & snow at this time
post #5 of 16
Welcome to the forum.

I think Snow will let you know when he is ready to go, I am so sorry that you are having to make that decision. I have always felt that as long as an animal has life left in him then it is ok to let him stay. I wouldn't want an animal to suffer or be in pain.

Just keep doing what you are doing for now, just keep loving him.
post #6 of 16
I'm so sorry to hear about Snow. I agree that if he's still eating well & affectionate, it's probably not time. The fact that you say he's in pain bothers me, tho. Since the vet has given you something to help with the pain, I'd do my darnedest to use it. I know that's easier said than done. Since Snow still loves to cuddle, could you ever-so-gently get some of the ointment on his eye when you're loving him up? Don't make a big deal of coming at him with the tube; just have it handy when he's in cuddle-mode. Maybe even have some already out of the tube waiting to be used. Have you tried clipping his back claws short? That might help with the problem of scratching the scabs off.
I wish I had something more to offer; I'll be thinking of you & Snow.
post #7 of 16
I am so sorry about your baby Snow, I believe they let us know when they have had enough, follow what your heart is telling you. Bless your Sweet Snow.
post #8 of 16
Oh my, times must be tough for you, its always such a trying time when one of our pets is ill
I agree with what has already said. Snow sounds like he is still having a certain quality of life and he obviously still takes pleasure when you cuddle him Bless him I suppose another point of reference would be your vet, they can always ease/assist the decision for you.
Heres sending some calming & soothing ((((( vibes ))))) for Snow and some for you
Just carry on loving him as you obviously do
post #9 of 16
I'm so incredibly sorry this dreadfull illness is what has brought you to us. Know that you have many friends here who have been forced to make this painful decision. This is breaking my heart. Snow's illness must be excrutiating for you. Precious Snow, you are so very loved, and you will be in my prayers.
post #10 of 16
Aww babe my heart is with you at this time
The only thing I can suggest to you,Is an Elizabethan collar sometimes called a Buster collar(some people call them lampshades?),It fixes to your babies collar or can be fixed with a gauze bandage.
It might stop him from irritating his sores even more and It may help to relieve his
symptoms a little bit.
If that improves his quality of life then it's worth a try

I will keep you and Dear Snow in my thoughts and prayers.

Please know we are all here for you and Snow anytime
post #11 of 16
I'm sorry your little friend is so sick. I don't think anyone can tell you when it's time. And it is one of the toughest decissions we make. But no one could possibly blame you if you came to that decission.
post #12 of 16
What a horrible time for you & Snow! Have you considered talking to your vet about oral pain medication to make Snow more comfortable? I have always thought that it is "time" when the kitty is no longer enjoying life....
post #13 of 16
I'm so sorry that you and Snow have to go through this. Snow will let you know when it is time - as hard as it will be. As long as he is enjoying life and eating,playing, cuddling, etc. then he still is holding his own. There are may of us here that has had to make that decision for our beloved ones and no one here will fault you for that.

Is there any kind of pain meds that the vet can give you to help at all?

You and Snow our in our thoughts.
post #14 of 16
Quote:
Originally Posted by greycat2 View Post
I'm so sorry that you and Snow have to go through this. Snow will let you know when it is time - as hard as it will be. As long as he is enjoying life and eating,playing, cuddling, etc. then he still is holding his own. There are may of us here that has had to make that decision for our beloved ones and no one here will fault you for that.

Is there any kind of pain meds that the vet can give you to help at all?

You and Snow our in our thoughts.
Indeed and so pefectly said. I want nothing but the best for you and your Snow. He sounds so wonderful. I had to make the most painful decision to part with my Sasha of 14 years who was diagnosed with Stage 4 diffused liver cancer this past Spring. Not a day goes by where I don't think I "see" him or feel him by my side. He was a very great and stoic guy. I knew it was time when he started to suffer so much he crawled into the bathtub and wouldn't get out. His bones showed so much and he wasn't really cognizant of time or when I'd leave the room or come back. He just kind of told me it was time. We had a country vet come to the house, to make it simple and nice and warm and quiet for our big boy. I know he hated to leave me, but he joined his beloved little brother, Freddie , in heaven and his mama, my best friend SiSi, so he had a lot of kin waiting for him on the RB.

Tell him to let you know. And you will feel it in your gut and you will be brave and strong in ending Snow's suffering when it is time. You will just know.

Bless you and be brave! This is a wonderful site for support to help you through every step of the way. Welcome!
Namaste,
Elizabeth & Sammy & Saba
post #15 of 16
Sorry you're going through this with Snow. I just lost my cat Bullseye on Monday to oral cancer. It was a tough call to make because he still trying to eat and had not withdrawn from us or the other cats. I had him on a high daily dose of Metacam, and I believe this was what kept him comfortable. Unfortunately, the drug has serious long term side effects. But in talking to the vet, we knew there was no long term in Bullseye's future so we opted to keep him painfree. He did not object to the taste at all and the dose is very small. You might ask your vet about it.

When it got down to the last days, I had to decide whether I was keeping him alive because that was what was best for him, or because I couldn't let go. I didn't want to see him in pain, hungry but not able to eat, or hiding from us. You just have to enjoy the good days and at some point your heart and Snow will tell you it's time.
post #16 of 16
Bless your heart. This must be wrenching you apart... I have not lost an animal to cancer but I did lose a family member to cancer. I know what you must be going through... The wonderful people at this site will be very supportive no matter what you decide or when you decide and we will all be with you all the way. I know it must be the hardest thing in the world.

Just keep on loving Snow....... that's all you can do. One thing you might try with the tube if you haven't already is hide it. Put the ointment on your fingers and when he is in a loving mood, just slip it on him. Trick snow a little. It might work... But I also agree with some of the others that possibly an oral med might work best. Metacam is a good med. I have an old cat with arthritis from an old break who took it for a period of time when he sprained his healed leg. He was one of the lucky ones who had no side effects other than sleeping.

My thought will be with you,
Jenn
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