How to remember a parent at a wedding?

MoochNNoodles · Jan 22, 2007

I've got a question and I figured ya'll could help!

I have a student who is getting married in May and her father has passed away a few years ago. We were talking about ways to remember him at the wedding since he will not be there. She hadn't really thought about it yet, but thinks it is something she'd like to do.

So any ideas on ways to do that?

My first thought was having a rose on the altar and mentioning in the program that it is in memory of him. Another was having a rose next to his picture on a table at the reception. I'm thinking something more creative can be done too.

Any ideas will be appreicated! Thanks guys!

phenomsmom · Jan 22, 2007

I have heard a lot about leaving an empty chair on her side of the seating arrangements in his honor. She could put some roses and a picture and a little something about him on the chair so everyone knows why the empty chair is there.

crazyforinfo · Jan 22, 2007

My cousin had a reader mention those who passed on and then read a passage from the bible. I think they had a special candle lit but they were all females who died.

An old co-worker had written a letter to her father and it was on display with pictures at the reception.

mooficat · Jan 22, 2007

My father was missing at my wedding, I wore his wedding ring. We also mentioned him during the speeches and made a toast to him.
I like the idea of a flower at the church

godiva · Jan 22, 2007

I had a vase at the alter with a white rose for each family member that had passed away (my dad, cousin, and a few grandparents). I let the person closest to each put the rose in the vase at the beginning of the ceremony. People thought it was very nice! I also put a blurb in the programs explaining each rose.

hilda>^..^< · Jan 22, 2007

Originally Posted by Godiva

I had a vase at the alter with a white rose for each family member that had passed away (my dad, cousin, and a few grandparents). I let the person closest to each put the rose in the vase at the beginning of the ceremony. People thought it was very nice! I also put a blurb in the programs explaining each rose.

Oh that's beautiful. Definitely I would use roses and maybe a tapered candle. I also love the idea of maybe someone very special getting up and saying something about the parent too.

Hilda >^..^<

lsulover · Jan 22, 2007

When my daughter got married, she had a memory table set up next to the table that had the Unity Candle on it.

On this memory table she had pictures of my mom and dad, of my husbands mom and dad, of her 17 year old cousin who had died and of her future husbands grandfather.

She also had something written in the program about it.

This was her way of having those who had gone on to be present at her wedding.

sibohan2005 · Jan 22, 2007

We have somthing here at work called the "Wedding program" It is a program that the bride and groom can sign up for and we supply "In Lieu of gifts please donate to the Cancer Society" placecards for the tables at the reception. it is a nice way to commemorate the person who passed and it raises funds towards research.
Depending on what charities this woman whos father passed away may want to support they might be somthing available in that type of tribute.

MoochNNoodles · Jan 22, 2007

Great ideas! I like the idea of having his wedding ring with her or some other special momento. I'll pass these along tomorrow!

miss mew · Jan 22, 2007

We had a photo and candle on display at our reception in honour of family members who had passed.

trouts mom · Jan 22, 2007

Originally Posted by Miss Mew

We had a photo and candle on display at our reception in honour of family members who had passed.

That is a sweet idea.

momofmany · Jan 22, 2007

I lost my father before I got married also. We remembered him during the ceremony. I remember the hardest thing to consider was who would walk me down the aisle? My husband to be ended up walking me, as oldest brother didn't want to do it and younger brother didn't think it his place. Mom said that a man should walk me and also refused. I'm curious on how your friend is going to handle this detail.

godiva · Jan 22, 2007

Originally Posted by Momofmany

I lost my father before I got married also. We remembered him during the ceremony. I remember the hardest thing to consider was who would walk me down the aisle? My husband to be ended up walking me, as oldest brother didn't want to do it and younger brother didn't think it his place. Mom said that a man should walk me and also refused. I'm curious on how your friend is going to handle this detail.

That was one of the toughest things for me as well. I hated how people always asked me what I was going to do, and how some seemed appalled at my solution.

I had originally planned to have my dad's best friend walk me (he was a close family friend), but he died a year before my wedding. I wasn't close (enough) to any other males in my family, so I ended up walking myself down the aisle. It was empowering in a way, but I remember being very sad and lonely that my daddy wasn't there.

MoochNNoodles · Jan 22, 2007

Originally Posted by Godiva

That was one of the toughest things for me as well. I hated how people always asked me what I was going to do, and how some seemed appalled at my solution.

I had originally planned to have my dad's best friend walk me (he was a close family friend), but he died a year before my wedding. I wasn't close (enough) to any other males in my family, so I ended up walking myself down the aisle. It was empowering in a way, but I remember being very sad and lonely that my daddy wasn't there.

I actually didn't want to be walked down the aisle. I'm not a mushy kinda person so that's mostly why. What I did is walk 2/3 of the way by myself where DH and my Dad were waiting, and then I walked the rest of the way arm in arm with both of them! Worked for us!

I think this girl is going to walk with her brother.

bella713 · Jan 22, 2007

When my DH's daughter got married, and they asked who gives this woman to be married to this man my DH said "Her mother and I do" and her mother had passed away the year before. When I saw the video of this I just lost it! It was so touching and so appropriate.It made me so sad for him though.

catsallover · Jan 22, 2007

My cousin had a tall glass and metal candleholder (on a stand, and secured) on the aisle side pew where his mother would have been sitting. It also had a few small white flowers around the glass base. It was really pretty and touching, lit up there, and obvious why it was there

.

momofmany · Jan 22, 2007

Originally Posted by Godiva

TIt was empowering in a way, but I remember being very sad and lonely that my daddy wasn't there.

Yup!

whisky'sdad · Jan 22, 2007

Originally Posted by Phenomsmom

I have heard a lot about leaving an empty chair on her side of the seating arrangements in his honor. She could put some roses and a picture and a little something about him on the chair so everyone knows why the empty chair is there.

I filmed a wedding back in September that did this for a grandmother who had recently passed...

gayef · Jan 22, 2007

I attended a lovely wedding recently where the bride's parents had both passed away just a few months before in a car accident ... instead of anyone walking her down the aisle, she carried two special roses in her bouquet and when she approached the aisle where her parents would have been seated, she stopped, removed that rose and placed it in the seat in memory of her parents. There wasn't a dry eye in the house.

How to remember a parent at a wedding?

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