PLEASE...Smack some sense into me!!!!NOW!!

babyharley

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Originally Posted by Trouts mom

Okay here goes:

He is jealous
Possesive
socially retarded
I'm not attracted to him....


Okay that felt good...*whew* Its working...
Those are 4 VERY good reasons why you do not want to be involved with him- he sounds like my ex!
 

markvg

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Originally Posted by Trouts mom

...He is just not right for me...
Keep reminding yourself of this. It will not get better. It is hard, if not impossible, to change someone to make it "right".

Sorry.
 
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trouts mom

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Originally Posted by markvg

Keep reminding yourself of this. It will not get better. It is hard, if not impossible, to change someone to make it "right".

Sorry.
Oh I know..I tried for 3 years to wait on him to "improve" as he said he would..But I realized, you can't just change your personality, and its not fair to ask someone to either. They are them, I am me.
 

markvg

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Originally Posted by Trouts mom

Oh I know..I tried for 3 years to wait on him to "improve" as he said he would..But I realized, you can't just change your personality, and its not fair to ask someone to either. They are them, I am me.
It is very hard and a noble effort to do what you tried to do. You tried for 3 years and it didn't work. You have to be a wonderfully person to put that effort into it and therefore there is someone else that will benefit from your goodness. Don't look back... keep going forward to better things, which I am sure you'll be able to find with the person I am sure you are.

JMO
 

lisasha3

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Originally Posted by Trouts mom

Well thats the problem, there weren't really bad times. He is just not right for me. He is a really good guy...so its easy to want to talk to him. Frigger.
Originally Posted by Pami

Ok what am I missing ....... why cant you be friends with an X


I am friends with an X and we are simply friends ....... I dont understand am I stupid?
Ok....I'm going to be the bad person here......

I'm friends with my X. He's a nice guy and we had lots of good times together just like you say you had and we're really good friends and that's all. I'm going to be the
here, but I enjoy having him for a friend. We get together about once every other week for dinner or just to go out and have a few drinks. If you think you can be just friends and he's not a "harmful" person mentally or physically then I don't see the bad thing about having another friend or someone to talk to.
Now if you're afraid he's going to want to be more again or you really don't want to have him as a friend then that's a different story.
Sorry.
 
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trouts mom

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Originally Posted by lisasha3

Ok....I'm going to be the bad person here......

I'm friends with my X. He's a nice guy and we had lots of good times together just like you say you had and we're really good friends and that's all. I'm going to be the
here, but I enjoy having him for a friend. We get together about once every other week for dinner or just to go out and have a few drinks. If you think you can be just friends and he's not a "harmful" person mentally or physically then I don't see the bad thing about having another friend or someone to talk to.
Now if you're afraid he's going to want to be more again or you really don't want to have him as a friend then that's a different story.
Sorry.
Yeah, I wish it were that easy. He would want more, he always does. He is not over me and still thinks we are meant to be
 

markvg

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Originally Posted by lisasha3

Ok....I'm going to be the bad person here......

I'm friends with my X. He's a nice guy and we had lots of good times together just like you say you had and we're really good friends and that's all. I'm going to be the
here, but I enjoy having him for a friend. We get together about once every other week for dinner or just to go out and have a few drinks. If you think you can be just friends and he's not a "harmful" person mentally or physically then I don't see the bad thing about having another friend or someone to talk to.
Now if you're afraid he's going to want to be more again or you really don't want to have him as a friend then that's a different story.
Sorry.
In my personal situations, this did not work. It did work for a short while but went down the wrong paths. It really depends on the individuals involved. It's a tough situation and you have to be strong on your convictions to get it done. I've also seen others get burned trying to do the "just be friends" thing.
 

rapunzel47

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Originally Posted by Trouts mom

Yeah, I wish it were that easy. He would want more, he always does. He is not over me and still thinks we are meant to be
And if that's the case, that's the best reason not to do it.
 

sillyjilly

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I think you should stay away from him even as friends so that you don't lead him to think that you guys could be more, cuz it will just lead to being exactly where you were before. You have moved on for a reason and you are stronger for it!
 

markvg

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Originally Posted by SillyJilly

I think you should stay away from him even as friends so that you don't lead him to think that you guys could be more, cuz it will just lead to being exactly where you were before. You have moved on for a reason and you are stronger for it!


Another person thinking straight and I'm not going to say anymore.

Good luck my friend!
 

lunasmom

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OK, there is a time to be friends with an ex and times not to be. The way you described him Natalie,
don't do it.

IMO the only time you can be friends with an ex is if you both mutually agree that you were better as friends then bf/gf. If one got hurt by the other its more difficult to resolve that hurt then by cutting things off completly and moving on.

Why not try going onto some singles sites (like yahoo or something) and distract yourself by seeing whats out there? I always did that whenever I felt lonely.
 

pami

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Originally Posted by Trouts mom

Yeah, I wish it were that easy. He would want more, he always does. He is not over me and still thinks we are meant to be
I agree if hes not over you then no friendship.

Originally Posted by markvg

In my personal situations, this did not work. It did work for a short while but went down the wrong paths. It really depends on the individuals involved. It's a tough situation and you have to be strong on your convictions to get it done. I've also seen others get burned trying to do the "just be friends" thing.
It is something that can be done, if both partys understand and are honest. I have been friends with one of my X's for many years now. He comes to all of our family and holiday gatherings with his wife.
 

swampwitch

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Who was it who said that exes are like a carton of spoiled milk in the refrigerator? You take the carton out of the refrigerator, taste it, say, "Yuck, that's still spoiled," and you put it back in the fridge to try again another time.

Cheers, from
SwampWitch
 

markvg

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Originally Posted by SwampWitch

Who was it who said that exes are like a carton of spoiled milk in the refrigerator? You take the carton out of the refrigerator, taste it, say, "Yuck, that's still spoiled," and you put it back in the fridge to try again another time.

Cheers, from
SwampWitch


Sorry, I wasn't going to comment on this anymore but just had to laugh at that.

Pami... it is great to hear how that all worked out.
I think you are are in the minority with it but I am so glad to hear how it worked with you with all.
 

kittenkiya

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Honey, the fact of the matter is, he is an ex for a reason. Actually four of them I guess.

If you have him come around and hang around, YOU are going to get hurt all over again.

KittenKiya's Clan says, "No can do!"
 

neetanddave

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Originally Posted by Pami

It is something that can be done, if both partys understand and are honest. I have been friends with one of my X's for many years now. He comes to all of our family and holiday gatherings with his wife.
That's the key Pami, he has a wife. This one of Nat's is single and so is she. I think that makes a difference. Not "on the market" changes things.
 

theimp98

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Originally Posted by Trouts mom

I
SO PLEASE SMACK ME .
did not read the rest of the Thread yet.
but he is a ex for reason remember that.

and sorry your to pretty to smack!!!! so no
 

pami

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Originally Posted by theimp98

did not read the rest of the Thread yet.
but he is a ex for reason remember that.
Bruce, "so please smack me" is all you read?
 
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