Originally Posted by IloveSiamese
(just playing devil's advocate)
I will never understand the logic behind spanking. We as adults need to teach our children to resolve issues without resorting to violence, not promoting it with our own actions.
wonderfully said. late to the dance as usual but heres my two cents;
violence begets violence- this is the belief in Norway where it is against the law to strike a child
i had a Norwegian penpal, and she said that with this law, if you saw someone hitting a child you could go up to them and remind them that they were breaking the law- but only in rare cases would someone call the authorities.
but it made it clear to all that children are a valued part of their society.
she admited that many parents had given their children a quick swat on the behind or hand at one time or another, usually to get the attention of a young child who was in danger of hurting itself.
my family was not
considered "dysfunctional" - and my mother was abused by my father, and we were beaten as kids. but this was at a time where spousal abuse ("to the moon alice, to the moon"- jackie gleason) and beatings (hairbrush "spankings" on a young childs bottom) were common.
(there was in fact all kinds of abuse in my family, sexual, physical, emotional, verbal)
the entire atmosphere was one of violence and control.this was during the period (50s early 60s depending on how fast your family changed with the times LOL)
when men had the *right* to do what they wished with their wives, who were, and in some cases still are, considered property
children were also the property of the parents to do with as they saw fit.
no one would have thought to intervene and try to stop my parents, no one would dare "meddle" in family affairs. Some bruising was to be expected (on both women and children- and they'd try to hide the signs of their abuse out of shame- yeh! like THEY had done something to be ashamed about)
Broken bones, well now *that* was going too far....but that was the way things were.
all of this used to be accepted- and considered normal
now i am not saying i agree with this proposed law, didnt even read it.
and i dont think that the state should try to micro manage ppls lives.
but just acknowledging that *might* doesn't make right, just admitting that nothing is gained by physically dominating another person, and getting the message out that discipline means TO TEACH, not to punish
all of these are good things. To discuss, at least. Not necessarily write laws about.
i have a daughter who is grown now. i smacked her behind once when she was pulling away from me in a busy parking lot.
when we were both in a safe place, i apologized for slapping her but explained that i needed to get her attention and had to make her safe. she was under 3 but she surely understood.
how can we teach children that their bodies belong to them and that no one has the right to abuse them (thinking sexually here) and then say its ok to strike them? is it *their* body, or isn't it?
to me, its an issue of respect. if you respect your child as a person, in addition to loving your child and knowing that you are the child's primary teacher,
you learn ways to raise your child with both love and respect, and in only extremely rare instances would that involve striking the child.
when we get into a discussion of rights and privacy in the home, we cloud over the main issue, which i think is respect for children as people. And learnng ways to discipline them - that is, ways to TEACH them- that are sensible, safe, and effective.