Why do some cats not like to be held?

Hello,

Our perfect cat is the sweetest little thing ever. She loves to play, take naps on your chest, talk, etc., but the one and only thing that she whines/complains about is being held. She completely trusts us and is a happy cat. I just don't know why she wouldn't like to be held.

She likes being petted, she likes tummy rubs, everything...it's just the holding issue. Any thoughts?

Some cats just don't like it. I guess its a personality thing. I have one cat who hates being held. Then the little one could care less. You can hold her upside down, like a baby, noting like that bothers her. But don't touch her nose. She bites everytime. The one who doesn't like to be held can be touches anywhere.

I have 1 cat who wants to be picked up, and the other one jumps down every time you pick him up. I don't know why, it just is. They are both males, both love to play and get pets, both fine. It's just the way they are I guess, it's just like how people are too. some people don't like to hug or anything, some people love it all the time.

I find that cats are like people in many ways - you gotta love them for who they are.

michelle

Yeah, I have a cat like that too. It is disappointing. I like to cuddle and he doesn't. I keep trying though, he is relatively young, I am thinking I can build up his tolerance. so far, very little change.

I think it also has a lot to do with how much they were handled when kittens - and whether they got used to the idea of being lifted /carried.

My 3 year old former stray gets very scared if I carry her - it's better now than it used to be - I try do little pick ups every now and then, so it's not such a struggle when I need to get her in her carrier!

My friend has 6 cats and half of them like being held while there others dont. He said its just all about there personality. Juz coz they dont like being held dosen't mean there nasty or anything its just how they are i guess but it could've had a bad experience involving holding.


Well thats all i know lol

We've had Gracie and Lizzie since they were just little things and someone was always picking them up and carrying them around, so they're both fine with it.

Elliott the newest family member was a stray and at first he didn't want you to pick him up...now we can, but for some reason we have to be standing up...you can't sit down and hold him...and he has to be able to see over your shoulder as long as his front paw are over your shoulder you could hold him all day.

Annabelle on the other hand will not let us pick her up for any reason.
We can only pet her if she comes to us, you can't just walk by her and reach down and pet her..she runs away.
I have no idea what kind of life Annabelle had before she came to live with us, but from the things I've noticed about her she more than likely was abused and more than likely the abuser was a Woman.
When my Husband comes home from work she runs to the door to greet him waiting for him to pet her.
But if he were to seek her out to pet her, she'd run and hide.

If I go out for the day when I get back Gracie, Lizzie and Elliott meet me at the door so I can fuss over them.
Annabelle only does that for my Husband.

Out of our cats Angel, Cozmo like to be held, Missy will put up with it, Panther and Rusty can't stand to be picked up, [at least by me] Cozmo loves for me to carry him all over the house [just like Tuffy did], Angel likes to be carried but will bite me if I put her down before she wants me to put her down. Panther is the biggest baby, he loves attention and is a real pest sometimes, He loves any kind of petting and attention other than being picked up, Panther and Rusty get so upset if I pick them up there hair comes out like crazy, I will be covered in cat hair if I pick up either one of them.

All 5 of my kittys don't like to be held. My RB kitty Chuckie loved to be held though. Winnie and Stormy like attention on their own terms (it has to be their idea )

I think it also has a lot to do with how much they were handled when kittens - and whether they got used to the idea of being lifted /carried.

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If I didn't know better, I would say my Pansy was abused, the way he runs when you make a move to pick him up.

But I fostered he and his mother and three sisters from 8 weeks. All of them except him were fine with being picked up and loved. He was a schizo from day one.

Thats why I still have him, I knew he couldn't handle going to pet smart and sitting in that tiny cage for however long It would take. I just couldn't subject him to that. I would never have chosen a cat that doesn't like to be held. But his handsome good looks make up for it.

Our Dulcinea use to LOVE to be held...and would just jump into your lap and fall asleep while we pet her for HOURS...but now she (post giving birth) she does not allow it and holding (much less lap-sitting) is out of the question. She still likes to be WITH us/NEAR us...but can't stand to be held. It's very disappointing...because we became so use to holding her and petting her before she had her kittens. Now that the kittens are grown and adopted and out of the house, she runs if you try to hold her and jumps out of your lap immediately if you pick her up. I guess it's just another one of those 'cat behaviors' that one has to accept. Oddly enough...if you ignore Dulcinea...she tends to come close and rub against you...but again...if you try and pick her up and settle her in your lap---she's 'outta there' fast. Still, she's the great love of our house...and the 'princess' of our home.

fr gregg

I have no clue. And the stranger thing is that my males were cuddle cats (liked being held like a baby on their backs). The females would complain if you did that to them.

Ling likes being petted but she protests about being held/restraint all the time. She'll come sit in your lap/sleep, but don't confine her. Charlie loves being "babied"

The concept of how much they are held/carried from little on doesn't seem to matter. I've raised several litters of rex kittens and they were treated no different - yet some just were not cuddlers - mainly the females....go figure. Ling was brought in the house from the barn at 5 weeks old and held/picked up all the time. She just doesn't like to be restrained.

I can't say for sure but I think taking Panther and Rusty to the vet to get "fixed" has something to do with not letting me pick them up. We have had Rusty since he was tiny because his mom stopped feeding her kittens so the owner brought the kittens here so we raised them. [owner is step sons girlfriend]. We always held the kittens on our laps when we fed them and they liked to be held.

But like I said after there vet trip the both of them won't let me pick them up. I bet they think I am going to do something like that again to them.

Teddy rarely likes to be held.
We can hold PJ (well, I can't, my fiance' can) every once in a while. Sometimes, she'll tolerate it every day, sometimes, she won't.

Also, PJ only likes to be held in a certain way - her paws over a shoulder, always. It provides her an easy way to escape if she wants to. We think she was abused (we got her as an 8.5 year old), and is therefore extremely sensitive about being held. Teddy came from a 15 cat household and I don't think anyone had held him much before.

As an addendum, though, Teddy is the most cuddly cat.

Dulcinea use to LOVE to be held...and would climb up in your lap and fall asleep for hours while being pet...now (post her 1st and ONLY litter) she doesn't EVER want to be held...but prefers to be 'NEAR' us and put one paw on us. We just keep holding her anyway...on her back...and she tolerates this usually for several minutes...and then meows to get down. But we keep holder her anyway...so that she will A. knows who is in charge...and B. so that she'll get use to it. So far it seems to be working...because we do it so often that she tolerates it more and more for longer and longer periods of time...and regardless, she always LOVES being close to us. Just a thought.

Good Luck

fr. gregg

My calico kitty is the same way! We held her all since she was growing up! The way i only get to hold her is when i hold her n let her look out the window but i have to be standing up and if i move away from the window or sit she meows at me and attacks me like shes mad!

Ritz hates hates being picked up much less cuddled/held.  I think it's partly just how her brain is wired and how she handled being abandoned early in life; every cat is different.  She and her brothers and sister were rescued from the streets when they were around four or five months old.  A friend socialized them; I helped.   Prior to that I'd never had a pet before, much less a cat.  So when I agreed to foster her, which after her first meow turned into adoption, I was a scardey cat, didn't quite know what I was doing, and didn't attempt to pick her up. 

Fast forward two years later, and Ritz sleeps with me, lays on my lap, loves neck massages, and recently has deliberately turned onto her back so I can give her a belly rub, including the area under her arms (arm pit?)  The look on her face is priceless, as are her purrs; I can live without my being able to cuddle her.

Osage didn't like to be held or petted except on his terms.  He would sleep on me, curl up next to me, "talk" to me, but didn't like to be touched.  I think it's because he was abandoned before he was 6 weeks old by his mother. 

He was a healthy happy cat though.

Smokie is overly clingy and loves to be held.

Bandit has his terms in which you can hold him. Most of the time he handles some petting and holding, but it isn't often. Just his personality I guess.

Only one of our 5 will let you pick him up and carry him. Well, actually 2, but one will only let my DH pick him up. I think it's just personality quirk.