Venting about DH

crazyforinfo

TCS Member
Thread starter
Top Cat
Joined
May 26, 2006
Messages
6,773
Purraise
4
Location
Philly
So yesterday I had a terrible migraine from 1pm-10pm. Hubby comes home and I start to cry. I was dying for him to feed the cats. Molly was laying on me and yelling for food. I told him I didn't do the dishes yet. "that's ok hunny you are sick." Now remember that.
He goes to feed the kitties and says "do you plan on sleeping the rest of the night? If so can you lay in the bedroom instead" WTH!!!

So I get up this morning and discovered the dishes from yesterday are still there & then some. I know I am not working right now but since when am I the only one who cleans?

Ever since I left my job I hear things like "that litter box smells" while he sits right next to it and the scoop. The only thing he does without me asking is taking the trash out.

Men!

hehe thanks I feel better now
 

yosemite

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Apr 26, 2001
Messages
23,313
Purraise
81
Location
Ingersoll, ON
This may not make me very popular and I must confess I'm an old-fashioned type of girl, but if I didn't work outside the home, I would not expect my hubby to come home from work and wash dirty dishes or do laundry or wash floors or any of those other tasks. I figure if he was bringing home the bacon, the least I could do is cook it.
 

icklemiss21

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Aug 14, 2005
Messages
16,465
Purraise
20
Location
in the land of poutine and ice
We both work, but if one of us gets a day off, we expect the other to do some extra chores around the house so we can spend more quality time together instead of sitting around alone in the day and not doing it then wasting time we could spend together cleani9ng.

In the case of a migraine a little different, but in general, I wouldn't complain about him not doing any of the tidying if I was home all day and could do it
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #4

crazyforinfo

TCS Member
Thread starter
Top Cat
Joined
May 26, 2006
Messages
6,773
Purraise
4
Location
Philly
I think it bothers me b/c he didn't help much before when I worked either and right now I am PMSing. He does the cooking. He loves to & I hate it.
Just would be nice if he would help instead of complaining about it.
 

trouts mom

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Mar 4, 2006
Messages
23,949
Purraise
16
Location
Snowy Santa Land
Hmmm, with you being sick, he should definately help out with the things you normally do.

I know most men think that if they work and the woman stays home..they shouldn't have to do anything at all around the house because the woman is home all day...Or vice versa..whatever spouse is home should do EVERYTHING.

I agree that if I worked, and my hubby stayed home, I would expect things to be done...but NOT if he was sick.
 

luckygirl

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
May 4, 2006
Messages
7,932
Purraise
1
Location
in a pile of open toed shoes!
when I was a stay at home wife,
I did all the cooking/cleaning & everything.....that was my work. I enjoyed it. But now that I'm working all day and have kids all weekend, I do need help. That being said, you having a migraine is a pass to have a "sick" day. And I think your DH did help out by feeding the kitties....most men will not offer to do the dishes.....and will only do them by nagging request. I would just call it even, and not dwell on this one. If your pmsing, that's probably the jist of it, or if there's alot more that has been building up too.....and this is just the straw that broke the camels back....


I got an "advice" book at my wedding shower, it was passed around, and everyone wrote their "advice" for the new bride....one aunt wrote, pick & choose your battles wisely, you can fight about something everyday if you let yourself....don't let it happen!
 

squirtle

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Nov 29, 2003
Messages
5,544
Purraise
1
Location
Sunny Florida
Originally Posted by Yosemite

This may not make me very popular and I must confess I'm an old-fashioned type of girl, but if I didn't work outside the home, I would not expect my hubby to come home from work and wash dirty dishes or do laundry or wash floors or any of those other tasks. I figure if he was bringing home the bacon, the least I could do is cook it.
I agree with this completely! And you mentioned that he cooks as well? You should consider yourself lucky


Also, did he ask you to move to the bedroom so he wouldn't disturb you doing things like watching tv and such? When my fiance tells me to go to bed when I am not feeling well I don't take it as being mean. It's just a way of saying don't worry about anything, just go rest and get rid of your headache
 

phenomsmom

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Nov 17, 2005
Messages
10,462
Purraise
11
Location
In training
He should have helped out. Especially if you weren't feeling well. But that is done with now. Ty to not let it eat at you. I realized that is what I was doing wit hlee when he would be off and not help around the house. I just let it go. Do my usual and don't bother getting my panties in a knot over the little things.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #9

crazyforinfo

TCS Member
Thread starter
Top Cat
Joined
May 26, 2006
Messages
6,773
Purraise
4
Location
Philly
Originally Posted by Phenomsmom

He should have helped out. Especially if you weren't feeling well. But that is done with now. Ty to not let it eat at you. I realized that is what I was doing wit hlee when he would be off and not help around the house. I just let it go. Do my usual and don't bother getting my panties in a knot over the little things.
Thanks! That is why I posted so I can vent and move on.

Speaking of moving on, time to do the dishes. LoL
 

lunasmom

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Sep 7, 2005
Messages
8,801
Purraise
12
Location
Jersey Shore
See the way I look at it is this: You left your job, and so now you're the house-person/wife whatever you want to call it.
That's OK. You work on keeping the house clean everyday, doing the dishes and laundry and stuff.

He goes into work everyday. He works on whatever his job entails him to do. He gets sick time and vacation time where one of his other co-workers or the boss covers for him while he's gone.

When is your sick time/vacation time? Sick time was last night. He could've at least washed the dish he used last night.
 

squirtle

TCS Member
Veteran
Joined
Nov 29, 2003
Messages
5,544
Purraise
1
Location
Sunny Florida
Originally Posted by lunasmom

See the way I look at it is this: You left your job, and so now you're the house-person/wife whatever you want to call it.
That's OK. You work on keeping the house clean everyday, doing the dishes and laundry and stuff.

He goes into work everyday. He works on whatever his job entails him to do. He gets sick time and vacation time where one of his other co-workers or the boss covers for him while he's gone.

When is your sick time/vacation time? Sick time was last night. He could've at least washed the dish he used last night.
But what if he had a bad day as well and was tired when he returned home... Wasn't it nice of him to have sent her on to bed and fended for himself for the night?
 

tavia'smom

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Apr 8, 2006
Messages
3,020
Purraise
11
Location
Kentucky
Originally Posted by Yosemite

This may not make me very popular and I must confess I'm an old-fashioned type of girl, but if I didn't work outside the home, I would not expect my hubby to come home from work and wash dirty dishes or do laundry or wash floors or any of those other tasks. I figure if he was bringing home the bacon, the least I could do is cook it.
Originally Posted by squirtle

I agree with this completely! And you mentioned that he cooks as well? You should consider yourself lucky


Also, did he ask you to move to the bedroom so he wouldn't disturb you doing things like watching tv and such? When my fiance tells me to go to bed when I am not feeling well I don't take it as being mean. It's just a way of saying don't worry about anything, just go rest and get rid of your headache
Originally Posted by squirtle

But what if he had a bad day as well and was tired when he returned home... Wasn't it nice of him to have sent her on to bed and fended for himself for the night?
he could have been like my ex and refused to so much as get a bowl of water for the dogs. I think when you get a good man who works and provides and will on occasion fend for himself, and take out the trash, and atleast do the cooking you should be really grateful. Cause some women end up with men who wouldn't know how to turn the stove on.
 

lunasmom

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Sep 7, 2005
Messages
8,801
Purraise
12
Location
Jersey Shore
Originally Posted by squirtle

But what if he had a bad day as well and was tired when he returned home... Wasn't it nice of him to have sent her on to bed and fended for himself for the night?
Sure!

I think when I posted I was concentrating more on the chores and had it in my mind that she was already in bed. My bad!
 
Top