My dad just sent me this and I thought it was pretty funny
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EVERYTHING HAS A GENDER
You may not know this, but many nonliving things have a gender.
Ziploc Bags are Male, because they hold everything
in, but you can see right through them.
Copiers are Female, because once turned off; it
takes a while to warm them up again. They are effective
reproductive devices if the right buttons are pushed,
but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.
A Tire is Male, because it sometimes goes bald and it
can easily become over-inflated.
A Water Faucet is Female, because it can turn hot or
cold in just a matter of moments.
A Safety Pin is Male, because it is often useful in an emergency.
A Foreign Movie is Female, because it is not always
completely understood.
A Hot Air Balloon is Male, because, to get it to go anywhere,
you have to light a fire under it, and of course, there's the hot air part.
Sponges are Female, because they're soft,
squeezable and retain water.
Matches are Male, because scratching is important
to them.
A Web Page is Female, because it's always getting
hit on.
A Subway is Male, because it uses the same old
lines to pick women up.
An Hourglass is Female, because over time, the
weight shifts to the bottom.
A Hammer is Male because it hasn't changed much
over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.
A Remote Control is Female. Ha! You thought it'd
be male, didn't you? But consider this --- it gives a
man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he
doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he
keeps trying!
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EVERYTHING HAS A GENDER
You may not know this, but many nonliving things have a gender.
Ziploc Bags are Male, because they hold everything
in, but you can see right through them.
Copiers are Female, because once turned off; it
takes a while to warm them up again. They are effective
reproductive devices if the right buttons are pushed,
but can wreak havoc if the wrong buttons are pushed.
A Tire is Male, because it sometimes goes bald and it
can easily become over-inflated.
A Water Faucet is Female, because it can turn hot or
cold in just a matter of moments.
A Safety Pin is Male, because it is often useful in an emergency.
A Foreign Movie is Female, because it is not always
completely understood.
A Hot Air Balloon is Male, because, to get it to go anywhere,
you have to light a fire under it, and of course, there's the hot air part.
Sponges are Female, because they're soft,
squeezable and retain water.
Matches are Male, because scratching is important
to them.
A Web Page is Female, because it's always getting
hit on.
A Subway is Male, because it uses the same old
lines to pick women up.
An Hourglass is Female, because over time, the
weight shifts to the bottom.
A Hammer is Male because it hasn't changed much
over the last 5,000 years, but it's handy to have around.
A Remote Control is Female. Ha! You thought it'd
be male, didn't you? But consider this --- it gives a
man pleasure, he'd be lost without it, and while he
doesn't always know the right buttons to push, he
keeps trying!
