12 Murders in 14 Days here....i'm terrified to go back home.

Nikki, I think Colin may be more open to it than you think. Atleast I'm hoping he is.he knew when you both started getting serious that you had a passion for animals and that you have furbabies.So, I would *think* that he would be just fine with you bringing some of your babies to his house. He may just ask that you not foster as many in the future though.
As for your Mom, I'm sending prayers that she stays safe and will be open to possibly moving with you and Colin.

Originally Posted by StarryEyedTiGeR

we're not engaged (although i'd like to be - that's an entirely different story for another day

) we have however been together for over 2 years now and get along better than many married couples i know./ Thankyou for the advice....i think it's definitely conviencing me to at least say something about it to him- i know he won't mind....i just don't want to feel like i'm imposing on him....i know it wouldn't be but still...

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ah sorry i didnt know yes or no ya mentioned not planning on moving in til you were married. lol but anyways.

i would lay it out like you have to use. you dont want to feel like your imposing, but he makes you feel safe, (give him an ego bump ) and that you have a family in your girls. colin sounds like a great guy and i am sure it will all work out good.

Well, I think I would put it to Colin that you are thinking about taking him up on moving in for the safety factor, but you're unsure what to do about your babies. That way he gets the feeling that he's not being manipulated, and gets a choice in the matter. (Plus they always like ideas better if they think it's their OWN idea, LOL.)

I would stay with Colin, Nikki. If it's unsafe to go back to your duplex.. and I am sure Colin will understand that your kitties need to be with you. I wish your mom would take up on his offer, too since it's unsafe. stay safe!

Originally Posted by Bella713

I'm sure Colin knows you are a package deal with YOUR girls

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I agree! Move in with him, now! Maybe your mom will change her mind about moving after you go, let's hope.

Cheers, from
SwampWitch

p.s. Put on your "my boyfriend is a cop and can kick your butt, and I'm a fighter like you don't expect" face when you go out. Please be careful.

Thankyou soo much once again everyone. Sometimes I don't know what i'd do without having all my friends here on TCS to run things by. I sort of brough it up today ( i know i know- lame, but i really didn't know how to.) When we were in the living room before leaving for lunch today- we were watching the news and it mentioned all the murders we've had lately.....so i thought that was perfect timing to sort of bring it up. I was like....you know...there have been 12murders and many other crimes in the past 14 days- many of them a street over from the duplex. I'm honestly scared to go back home sweetie. I'm not reallly sure what to do. I'm also worried about my mom- do you know of any properties around bartlett right now that are reasonably priced...i was thinking maybe i could give her an extra hundred or two a month to add onto rent- it's worth it if we can move her in a safer area since she doesn't wanna come here. Then i said- but you know, i'm not really sure where i'd live if she moves though...it's like i'm living with you now and just go to my house to visit (i was trying to bring it up but did't really know how to.) then he laughed and said- well, guess you better get an apartment too (i was like....oh...) and he saw me frown...so then he said he was just kidding. I thought he was serious for a minute there / Later on while we were at Costco- he called me over to look at the furniture and we were looking at some childrens furniture (we're both dying to have a baby but waiting till we're married! ) he said- you know i'd like to build something like this when we have kids. And right after he said that he was like- you know, we need some more bedroom furniture. Then I saw my moment and took it I said- you know....i have that really nice bedroom set at my house- we can take it to yours. It's not like it's getting used right now anyways since i stay with you. Would you like to do that. Then he said- well i guess that would mean you'd be living with me then right? Then I said- yes....if you're ok with that? He said he was fine with that...but he knew his parents wouldn't approve of us living together before marriage...then i gently pointed out that they live in a different state and don't come to town often- so if need be...i could stay at my sisters house for a day or two when they're in town.....or he could just tell them he's an adult and it is his home in a kind manner. So i think we decided i'm officially moving in with him I'm really not sure....he said he was ok with it- so does that mean he really is? I was a little nervous bringing it up and forgot to mention the girls....i want him to know that if i move in with him, i'm bringing my girls as well. I'm sure he'll understand. And if not- i won't without my girls. He also said that when i bring over my furniture- he's planning on building us two matching chest of draws as well..... so i have plenty of room for my things So i guess that's a good sign right? This is all kinda new to me- i've never lived with anyone before (granted i've been living with him for several months now- just out of my bags). Any suggestions to make the transition easier? I think it won't be as hard on us whenever we do get engaged/married because we've already faced alot of challenges people who don't live together before marriage haven't just a thought. i wasn't planning on this- but right now- it seems like the best and most safe option...not to mention, i definitely want to live with the man i love that's a given. and i think he likes comming home to me every night. So maybe this will work out if i do move in....it's just kinda weird. How do i bring up my girls to him? I even thought about just brining the kitties over.....and then later on the bunny. (Sophie will FREAK so it's better to transition the kitties first and then spend lots of time working with her. Also- my mom might adopt her-she loves her to pieces...so eithor way it'll work out)

Oh, you could sort of re-affirm that he wants you to move in. "Like I'm going to move in, right?" And you could either say, "the kitties go with the bed", or ask him if HE has a solution with what to do with them. wink, wink.

Originally Posted by kluchetta

Oh, you could sort of re-affirm that he wants you to move in. "Like I'm going to move in, right?" And you could either say, "the kitties go with the bed", or ask him if HE has a solution with what to do with them.

wink, wink.

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thanks for the tips!

Oh, I've been manipulating my man for about 20 years now!

Not to be too obvious, but if his family has that much problem with it, he could always MARRY you! (But that's just not a guy solution, is it?)

Originally Posted by kluchetta

Oh, I've been manipulating my man for about 20 years now!

Not to be too obvious, but if his family has that much problem with it, he could always MARRY you! (But that's just not a guy solution, is it?)

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Sweetheart- i wish you could put that thought into his brain for him That'd be perfect!!!!

OK. VIBES (((()))) for that thought to go into Colin's brain. (You know TCS vibes.)

Originally Posted by kluchetta

OK. VIBES (((()))) for that thought to go into Colin's brain. (You know TCS vibes.)

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Hehe! Thankyou!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Maybe that will work

I think him talking about matching chest sets and such means he really is AOK but thats me.

Originally Posted by kluchetta

OK. VIBES (((()))) for that thought to go into Colin's brain. (You know TCS vibes.)

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We have to get this in Colins head! (and out of Johns )

Originally Posted by ScamperFarms

I think him talking about matching chest sets and such means he really is AOK

but thats me.

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hehe.....i think so he's already put a chest of draws and a nightstand in his bedroom for me

Originally Posted by 4crazycats

We have to get this in Colins head! (and out of Johns

)

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talk to him and bring your girls, if needed mabye try to find a bigger place?

Originally Posted by theimp98

talk to him and bring your girls, if needed mabye try to find a bigger place?

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he has a 3 bedroom 2 bath home with an office, livingroom and kitchen ....so i think space wise we'll be ok. he is currently selling his other home in VA Beach (he has two -the one here and the one at his previous post in the navy). so once he sells that one, we're eithor going to buy a bigger home or pay this one out right and put the rest in savings. we're planning on having a big family whenever we do get married....so he's thinking about space/things like that now. but hey- i could care less- i've lived in a tinsy two bedroom duplex with one small bath and small kitchen for 13 years- i think his home is like a mansion someitmes So i'm not concerned about a lot of space. heck, i'm still simply amazed he has a garbage disposal a dishwasher and a garage-talk about some getting used to-i still constantly forget and start washing all of our dishes by hand My girls have done well with our duplex....and Abilene, Ginger (my wolf mix) and possibly my bunny sophie will be staying behind....so it will likely just be my two bettas, and isabella, jasmine, and velvet comming to colins. (and i always keep my fosters at colins anways, so that's not an issue) so i think we'll be just fine as far as space. I have offered to help him money wise since i stay here...but he flat out refuses and insists that he is the man and he will provide for me. So what i do to help out is get all of our groceries and things like that for us and keep his house really clean and fix him dinner/etc Works out for us but i also work full time and am definitely willing to help out of he changes his mind. till then, i'm helping my mom out a ton, i just wish i could convience her to move I'm really scared something will happen to her out there.

I understand. SOmetimes older people just refuse to leave. They feel that this is there home, THis is where they are going to stay. My father is the same, getting older, to much land and house to take care of. He does not want any one to help him.

he really needs to move into a smaller place. but all we can do is try to h elp when we can

Originally Posted by StarryEyedTiGeR

he has a 3 bedroom 2 bath home with an office, livingroom and kitchen ....so i think space wise we'll be ok. he is currently selling his other home in VA Beach (he has two -the one here and the one at his previous post in the navy). so once he sells that one, we're eithor going to buy a bigger home or pay this one out right and put the rest in savings. we're planning on having a big family whenever we do get married....so he's thinking about space/things like that now. but hey- i could care less- i've lived in a tinsy two bedroom duplex with one small bath and small kitchen for 13 years- i think his home is like a mansion someitmes

So i'm not concerned about a lot of space. heck, i'm still simply amazed he has a garbage disposal a dishwasher and a garage-talk about some getting used to-i still constantly forget and start washing all of our dishes by hand

My girls have done well with our duplex....and Abilene, Ginger (my wolf mix) and possibly my bunny sophie will be staying behind....so it will likely just be my two bettas, and isabella, jasmine, and velvet comming to colins. (and i always keep my fosters at colins anways, so that's not an issue) so i think we'll be just fine as far as space. I have offered to help him money wise since i stay here...but he flat out refuses and insists that he is the man and he will provide for me. So what i do to help out is get all of our groceries and things like that for us and keep his house really clean and fix him dinner/etc

Works out for us

but i also work full time and am definitely willing to help out of he changes his mind. till then, i'm helping my mom out a ton, i just wish i could convience her to move

I'm really scared something will happen to her out there.

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Ya know....maybe YOU moving out is the impetus that would get her to change her situation!!!

Originally Posted by theimp98

I understand. SOmetimes older people just refuse to leave. They feel that this is there home, THis is where they are going to stay. My father is the same, getting older, to much land and house to take care of. He does not want any one to help him.

he really needs to move into a smaller place. but all we can do is try to h elp when we can

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I am sorry about your father It took us FOREVER to talk my nanny into moving into a different place- the area she was living in was in Orange Mound. aka...killa country. there's been too many murderes out there to count. Thankfully we just moved her into a really nice retirement community in Bartlett about two years ago. She's a lot closer to Colin's house- so i get to see her a lot more, she's in a safer area, and she still gets to have her dog with her She loves it out there and has made a ton of friends...where as before she was just sitting at home all alone in a really dangerous part of town. Hopefully you and I will be able to convience my mom and your dad to look into moving into a safer place soon. The best we can do right now is try

Originally Posted by kluchetta

Ya know....maybe YOU moving out is the impetus that would get her to change her situation!!!

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You know gorgeous- maybe your right I hope so! I'm going to go look online at apartments in Bartlett this week and shop prices just to look She's worried about not being able to take Ginger with her. But even though Ginger's 1/2 wolf ( her mom was full blooded wolf) her dad was german shepherd /elkhound mix- so she's a large dog, but not massive....so since she only has one dog i don't think an apartment or condo would mind. She will also be keeping Abilene (I would take her with me in a heartbeat- but when it comes down to it- Abilene has adopted my mom as her "person" and those two are inseperable- so it is in the best interest of abbie to stay with my mom- and my mom loves her to pieces.) so i don't think that'd be hard...and if anything there are pet deposits. I've told her before i don't mind giving her extra money to make up the difference in the rent to get her into a safer place. I'm really going to start looking soon. I don't know what else to do for her, let alone me.