or Connect
TheCatSite.com › Forums › Our Feline Companions › Cat Behavior › Why is my cat afraid of me ?
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Why is my cat afraid of me ?

post #1 of 9
Thread Starter 
We have 2 toy poodles and an older cat. We adopted 2 kittens thru a local rescue group. The kittens were with their mom the entire time. They have always have a warming, loving enviorment, although were not handeled much as kittens by the foster mom. We adopted them at 6-8 weeks.

We brought kittens home. The dogs adore them. One dog is always giving them kitty kisses and watching over them. Dogs and cats eat together, sleep together, play together, share toys.

They were shy but started warming up to us. I never had a kitten before and was told to use a squirt bottle to teach them to stay off the tables. I only did it a few times and this was 6 months ago. I realized it was not kind or loving so I quit.
The cats seemed to be warming up to us. Slept at the foot of the bed, came to the door when I got home and wanted acknowledged,e tc.

Recently one cat (they are now 9 months old so we don't call them kittens anymore) had become more recluse/shy. She wants to lay on the foot of the bed when we go to bed at night but does not want to be touched.

I walk into the room and she runs away. I try to pick her up and she runs. She will peek out from behind the couch but will not let me pick her up. I have always been gentle and spoke softly, no yelling.

When I can pick her up I hold her gently, talk softly and tell her how much I love her and would love to have her cuddle with me. She strongs arms me and jumps away and runs from me.

The other cat lets us hold her. but not for long. she will come into the bathroom when I take a bath and pester me to pet her. When I am dry and clothed it is a different story.

I am getting to the point that I feel like they are one big expense, one big liability. Am I going to be stuck for the next 10-15 years with a cold, indifferent cat? I pay for food, toys, vet bills and litter but get nothing back.

I really wanted to give these little girls a warm loving home but.......

Can anyone help me?
post #2 of 9
I've always thought of cats as little people, they all have their own distinct personalities and that's what makes being owned by them so wonderful.

I have a 6 year old cat that is momma's big baby, who I can cuddle and kiss I also have an 8 month old who sounds very much like your reclusive kitty. I am going to continue to remain patient with her and give her space. I have seen slow steady improvement with her over the past few months but I'm fully aware that she may never be like her big brother and I accept it.

I wish you the best of luck.
post #3 of 9
For one thing is she spayed? Another is this is the "I am a grown up cat now.." age, often needing less affection and want to sleep with you, but not be disturbed by movement. Maia hates it if I move when she lies with me or even on me! I try to be as still as possible for as long as I can, I love her sleeping with me but I have to breathe! She is 9 months as well .......
post #4 of 9
Have you recently changed 'your' smell (like lotion, shampoo, etc.)?
post #5 of 9
Thread Starter 
No changes to lotions or anything like that. I am allergic to those so we use as many natural products as we can.

She loved all the pretty packages at Christmas. Oh, by the way, her name is Jinx and her sister is Mischief. Anyway, we put a small tree up and they showed no interest in it. So no problem there.

She was interested in the packages and played with the bows a bit.

I thought she missed the packages but she started being more reclusive before that.

We did have a cat fence installed. This was early December. But she was shy even before that. They try to jump the walls and go over into the street. As much as I hated it, that was the only way they would get any sunshine. I tell them if they want to go outside they have to wear their outside collars. Neither one has gone near the walls because they have been trained with flags and movement. She did get a static electric shock once because she went too close to the fence. But they have had full range of the yard since and know that, collars = outside = freedon to run and play. She hates the collar so that is a struggle to get it on her. But even if we are in the bedroom or at night or giving her breakfast she runs. Is she equating me with the collar on a 24/7 basis ? If sho, how can I regain her trust ?

Right now she is behind me, in her cat condo that is up on top of the deep freeze. She can sit up there and watch.

Even if I ruined her trust, she totally loves my mother-in-law and would go to her in a minute. now she is even shying away from her !
post #6 of 9
Thread Starter 
Oh by the way, Yes, they are both spayed.
post #7 of 9
Our cat Poe is like this. We can touch him, but he gets irritated and will nip occasionally. There's been some improvement, I think it's just something that needs to be accepted. When he wants to be left alone we leave him alone, when he comes up to us or lays down next to us we will pet him.

It takes a bit of effort because we can never relax and just pet him while paying attention to something else or he'll nip because we miss the signs that he is becoming over stimulated.

I don't really know what to tell you. I quit giving him treats while I petted him because he got to be a hog for the treats.

He does not like to be picked up at all so we reserve it for when it is absolutely necessary.

He has never climbed into our laps and probably never will. He doesn't like walking or sitting on bumpy surfaces or surfaces that are too soft.

He's weird, but we love him. hehehe.
post #8 of 9
Because this is a sudden change, I would take her to the vet to rule out anything medical.
post #9 of 9
I have to agree with Missy. Before you start looking at weither she is mad at you , you need to let the vet rule out sickness. Kirra when she is sick will become reclusive and if i hold her get all shove offish and growl. When that happens I know its time for a vet check.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Cat Behavior
TheCatSite.com › Forums › Our Feline Companions › Cat Behavior › Why is my cat afraid of me ?