I really think you need to talk to your DH about this, I'm so sorry you have such a witch as a MIL. IMO I dont think you should loan her money, but let her know why.
Gosh that is such a sticky situation.
Gosh that is such a sticky situation.
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- Thread starter dixie_darlin
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- #22
This is off subject but I have to say your kitties are my Cat Brats twins!
$20???...I wouldn't loan her 20 cents to buy a bandaid if she was bleeding to death.
I'm sorry, but people like that get on my last nerve.
You have children to look after and you have to think of them first.
She kicks your dog because she was once bitten?
Big freakin' deal, a dog almost tore my leg off when I was a little girl and I would never in a million years hurt a dog that's the most lame excuse I've ever heard...she just sounds like a mean, nasty, Woman.
If she's that scared of dogs then just tell her to stay out of your house!
It's sad that she has a mental problem, but she can't use that as an excuse for the horrible things she's said and done to you.
If she's not on some kind of medication she sure sounds like she needs to be and if she is on medication I think she needs to have her dosage checked.
I'd like to rip her face off myself and I don't even know her.
Stick to your guns, don't turn that ringer on and don't loan or give her any money.
I'm sorry, but people like that get on my last nerve.
You have children to look after and you have to think of them first.
She kicks your dog because she was once bitten?
Big freakin' deal, a dog almost tore my leg off when I was a little girl and I would never in a million years hurt a dog that's the most lame excuse I've ever heard...she just sounds like a mean, nasty, Woman.
If she's that scared of dogs then just tell her to stay out of your house!
It's sad that she has a mental problem, but she can't use that as an excuse for the horrible things she's said and done to you.
If she's not on some kind of medication she sure sounds like she needs to be and if she is on medication I think she needs to have her dosage checked.
I'd like to rip her face off myself and I don't even know her.
Stick to your guns, don't turn that ringer on and don't loan or give her any money.
I don't know your personal situation, but I have to wonder, does she have any addictions - booze, drugs, gambling? If you've loaned her money before, does she ever pay you back?
Too bad you can't pick up and move about 200 miles away. That could resolve some of your problems.
I think the bigger issue is for you and your husband to talk about the problems and agree on limitations. It doesn't sound like she is a positive influence in your life.
Too bad you can't pick up and move about 200 miles away. That could resolve some of your problems.
I think the bigger issue is for you and your husband to talk about the problems and agree on limitations. It doesn't sound like she is a positive influence in your life.
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- #25
Nope, never does! And if I could move away, I would in the blink of an eye
Since she doesn't pay you back, if she asks again I would tell her that what she is asking for is NOT a LOAN but a GIFT. And since you have children to support, and hopefully send to college, you don't have any money to GIVE her, and until she is able to pay you back for money you have GIVEN her in the past, no way could you ever again consider LOANING her anything.
You know, you and your husband need to be on the same page.
You telling her no and him telling her yes is pointless. You guys are married and in a partnership and both need to agree on the issue.
Yes, it's his mother, but you are his wife. When he married you you became #1 woman in his life and his mother moved to #2. If he can't accept that you are his priority and that he should be siding with you, you have serious relationship issues.
He needs to grow some basketballs and start sticking up for you where she is concerned. No man worth his salt should allow his mother to treat his wife like trash.
You telling her no and him telling her yes is pointless. You guys are married and in a partnership and both need to agree on the issue.
Yes, it's his mother, but you are his wife. When he married you you became #1 woman in his life and his mother moved to #2. If he can't accept that you are his priority and that he should be siding with you, you have serious relationship issues.
He needs to grow some basketballs and start sticking up for you where she is concerned. No man worth his salt should allow his mother to treat his wife like trash.
I wouldn't give her money. If she told you she would prefer you dead, then she could be storing the money to pay someone off to kill you.
Besides, I'm surprised your DH stands for her verbal abuse towards you. just IMO.
Besides, I'm surprised your DH stands for her verbal abuse towards you. just IMO.
She's literally crazy... to an extent!
She knows right from wrong.. no doubt about that! But she uses her mental illness to get away with being flat out nasty to people..
She thinks she is so different from everyone else and that anyone else in the world is wrong.. and I don't mean like she thinks her stuff don't stink.. I mean literally thinks she's the only one who knows anything about everything. I can't explain it.
I've never met a person like her before.... Never.[/quote]
You should meet my son's girlfriend,she acts the same way!
She knows right from wrong.. no doubt about that! But she uses her mental illness to get away with being flat out nasty to people..
I've never met a person like her before.... Never.[/quote]
You should meet my son's girlfriend,she acts the same way!
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I totally agree!
You know your MIL sounds just like mine!!! You must be a lot better of a wife than I am though, because when she got really bad and tried to hurt me, I just said to Kyle that it's her or me. Either you are married to me or to your mother. Well he chose me and since, we've worked things out with his mom, where she has very strick guidelins and if she breaks them then we don't talk to her or have anything to do with her. She behaves most of the time now.
I hope you can find a way to work things out!
OH they so are! Right down to the eager little faces.Originally Posted by DixieDarlin256
This is off subject but I have to say your kitties are my Cat Brats twins!
Exactly!! I never had issues like this with my MIL, but if I did I know my husband would not have allowed her to treat me that way.
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I don't know if you've seen the posts recently about Alycia and her husband, but things have been VERY VERY rocky.
He is a Momma's boy and will cling to her as long as he can.
I say absolutely not I would never loan her a dime. And she wouldn't be welcome in my home ever and if my husband didn't like it well then he would find himself sleeping on the couch quite a bit. There is no reason why a human being should act in such a manner. And if she ever kicked one of my animals she would get a bloody nose.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #36
Well, to my shock, he did confront her tonight.
Him and I had quite a long convo tonight about it before I had to leave. (mom got an Ipod and needed me to set it up for her
)
It went something like this:
DH: Hey, I don't think we're gonna be able to loan you the money.
MIL: Why not? I'm your mother!
DH: Well, first off, I am a little upset at how you've been treating Alycia. She is my wife and you don't need to disrespect her like that
MIL: I don't care WHO she is! YOU made the money, NOT her!
DH: No, that's not entirely true. She does get up on roofs and help, ALOT. And she does all the "office stuff" (don't ask, he's not good with terminology)
MIL: As far as I'm concerned, She's as good as dead to me!
DH: See? That's the kind of stuff I'm talking about. You can't be saying things like that. I don't know what your beef with her is but I'm tired of it. The last time I checked, I CHOSE her as a wife, I didn't get a choice for a mother! (dunno where that came from)
MIL: Every since you have been with her, you ignore me and I'm tired of it
DH: You'll have to get over it. I'm still not giving you the money. I should make you pay me back the $40. But because I know you never will, I'm not asking for it.
MIL: You'd let me starve to death wouldn't you?
DH: Why not, you did it to me as a kid... and remember when I asked to borrow some from you and you told us to live in a box. That you didn't care?
Don't think I forget these things.
MIL: (Quite a few expletives I can't say here)
DH: It's just like when I was a kid huh? Nothing to logically explain anything. Just cussing and degrading me. Why don't you do like you told me to do when I needed gas money?
MIL: What's that?
DH: Get a better job that pays more, or go to Day Labor!!!! I have a family we're trying to support!
MIL: Thats............... and he hung up!
At first I thought he was lying about it, just to shut me up, but when my 9yr old told me he heard it all, I knew it was true! I'm satisfied now!
I wish I could have been a fly on the wall when it happened!
She had the nerve to call my parents and cuss them out afterwards. She told my mother she hopes ALOT of "evil" things happen to us
They hung up on her also.
Thank god for sane parents!
His dad also called us tonight. From what I understand, him (who is divorced from her) his aunt, and a couple of family members are seriously thinking of Baker-Acting her into a facility. The only downfall is that she's capable of taking care of herself so it will be VERY hard to do. But since she's a threat to herself and family they may do it.
Him and I had quite a long convo tonight about it before I had to leave. (mom got an Ipod and needed me to set it up for her
It went something like this:
DH: Hey, I don't think we're gonna be able to loan you the money.
MIL: Why not? I'm your mother!
DH: Well, first off, I am a little upset at how you've been treating Alycia. She is my wife and you don't need to disrespect her like that
MIL: I don't care WHO she is! YOU made the money, NOT her!
DH: No, that's not entirely true. She does get up on roofs and help, ALOT. And she does all the "office stuff" (don't ask, he's not good with terminology)
MIL: As far as I'm concerned, She's as good as dead to me!
DH: See? That's the kind of stuff I'm talking about. You can't be saying things like that. I don't know what your beef with her is but I'm tired of it. The last time I checked, I CHOSE her as a wife, I didn't get a choice for a mother! (dunno where that came from)
MIL: Every since you have been with her, you ignore me and I'm tired of it
DH: You'll have to get over it. I'm still not giving you the money. I should make you pay me back the $40. But because I know you never will, I'm not asking for it.
MIL: You'd let me starve to death wouldn't you?
DH: Why not, you did it to me as a kid... and remember when I asked to borrow some from you and you told us to live in a box. That you didn't care?
Don't think I forget these things.
MIL: (Quite a few expletives I can't say here)
DH: It's just like when I was a kid huh? Nothing to logically explain anything. Just cussing and degrading me. Why don't you do like you told me to do when I needed gas money?
MIL: What's that?
DH: Get a better job that pays more, or go to Day Labor!!!! I have a family we're trying to support!
MIL: Thats............... and he hung up!
At first I thought he was lying about it, just to shut me up, but when my 9yr old told me he heard it all, I knew it was true! I'm satisfied now!
I wish I could have been a fly on the wall when it happened!
She had the nerve to call my parents and cuss them out afterwards. She told my mother she hopes ALOT of "evil" things happen to us
Thank god for sane parents!
His dad also called us tonight. From what I understand, him (who is divorced from her) his aunt, and a couple of family members are seriously thinking of Baker-Acting her into a facility. The only downfall is that she's capable of taking care of herself so it will be VERY hard to do. But since she's a threat to herself and family they may do it.
I'm glad your hubby stood up to her. / I just hate that your son walked in and heard it. I'm sure he knows that somethings not right with her though. / What all does the BAker-Act entail? I'm curious? It definitely sounds like she has some major problems going on.
I haven't said anything, but I've been following this thread - I'm really glad he stood up for you Alycia - that's a really good sign. And I'm sorry that she's such a you-know-what!
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- #39
It means to put her in a mental instutition w/o her consent. I found out she's been in one 2 times before... from my FIL admitting her. Justice is fully aware of how she is. He's 9 and I have told him MANY times if she ever says or does anything to him or Deacon that he is to tell me ASAP!
I asked him why he waited to say anything until I was gone. His response was "I didn't know what to say to her w/o blowing up in her face. I didn't want to stoop to her level by ranting and raving and cussing and if you were here, I would have because it makes me even more angry at her when I think of her saying she wishes you were dead. If it wasn't for you, I'd probably been dead a loooong time ago. She could care less if I died, and she's told me on more then one occasion".........
In that case if it were me, he'd find his bags packed so he could move back home to "Mommy." I have no patience for men with "Peter Pan Syndrome" who never grow up and stay attached to the umbilical cord.
