Did you ever go someplace

lunasmom · Jan 12, 2007

like a meeting or whatnot and JUST KNEW that you weren't liked?

I haven't felt like that in high school and this meeting I went to last night, I just felt really insecure and that people asked me questions...but it was the "polite" stuff.

Then if I tried to speak up in conversations, but either I was ignored or pushed out of groups.

I couldn't WAIT to leave...and never come back...

anyone else felt like this before??

sandtigress · Jan 12, 2007

One of the labs I rotated through in my first year as a grad student was sort of like that. The people in it were nice and all, but I definately felt like I didn't really "click" with them. It was one of the main reasons why I didn't ask to join the lab. You're definately not alone!

MoochNNoodles · Jan 12, 2007

Yep! Sounds like High School to me! Not really, but there were some pretty snobish girls there that come to mind.

I've felt that other places too. Sometimes I just keep chattin or whatever anyway. Maybe it will annoy them, maybe it will make them get over whatever it is making them like that. I unno, I just do it!

kiwideus · Jan 12, 2007

Yes! Not too long ago, I went to my best friends birthday party and my hubby and I were completely ignored, except by her younger sister. They were all doctors like my best friend is, and they made us non doctor people feel so small. I havent had much to do with my best friend since then, since she became a doctor, her personality has completely changed - its all about the money for her now.

lunasmom · Jan 12, 2007

Originally Posted by Kiwideus

Yes! Not too long ago, I went to my best friends birthday party and my hubby and I were completely ignored, except by her younger sister. They were all doctors like my best friend is, and they made us non doctor people feel so small. I havent had much to do with my best friend since then, since she became a doctor, her personality has completely changed - its all about the money for her now.

Oh that's horrible! I don't blame you though, it's hard to see a friendship go (especially a best friend), but its difficult to maint that friendship when things change.

Yea I know the money thing though...thats what one guy was talking about and I just thought it was such an odd statement. We were talking cars (I have a Civic and he has a Prius). Then he makes the statement "Well I can afford the Prius so I just bought it outright."

Umm...that's nice. I could've afford the Prius (despite our 40 year age gap) but I chose the Civic because of my Costco membership discount. Of course I kept my mouth shut, but still...

My only entertainment was watching the daughter of some chairperson get hit on by 50 year old [married] men (she was younger than me) and then watch her check out the younger guys there.

You could tell she was bored.

katiemae1277 · Jan 12, 2007

I've felt like that most of my life, no matter where I was

I might just be paranoid too

starryeyedtiger · Jan 12, 2007

Maybe i'm weird, but i've never really had that happen before

halfpint · Jan 12, 2007

Originally Posted by StarryEyedTiGeR

Maybe i'm weird, but i've never really had that happen before

Oh Now Nikki we know your weird you didn't have to say that

natalie_ca · Jan 13, 2007

Yes, that often happens in places where people have known each other awhile and an "outsider" comes into the picture.

There is one hospital ward that I work on occasionally that is like that. It's a nice ward as far as the type of nursing goes, but the staff are all very close knit and most of them are friends outside of work and do things in groups. So when I took a position there I felt completely left out. I was there almost 5 months and things didn't improve so I sought a position elsewhere in the hospital where the staff weren't so "clickey" with one another.

dont_eat_bambi · Jan 13, 2007

Yes... I used to feel that way at the place I work at now. There was a girl who was the head of the area I work in and I just always felt like she hated me. She even told my manager that I didnt try to associate with the other people in the department that I wasnt nice to our customers ...

She was also vegan and I tried to talk to her about food a couple of times when there seemed to be a group conversation going on an she just tuned me out. It rally pissed me off. IT still does. Thank goodness a much nicer person takes care of everything now.

lemur 6 · Jan 13, 2007

Yep, I feel that way all the time. Though there's little scientific proof, I don't think it's not inconceiveable that people give off emotional hormonal signals to each other soley depedent on a person's beliefs and tastes. A new comer comes near an established "group", a couple, or maybe even just one person in the group senses you're not "one of them" and doesn't like you, unintentionally sets off a hormonal signal that's received by everyone else in the group, who are all now sending out "we don't like this person" vibes. You feel these vibes, and you feel uncomfortable and you reciprocate with a hormonal signal of your own. In the end neither party likes each other and the more they hang around each other, the more hormones the pump out and the more they dislike each other until one gives up and runs off.

I think this is where prejudice originates from, and race and beliefs plays heavily on it (race and beliefs are generally intertwined). Subconsciously, people are thinking, anyone who does not believe in, or thinks against my beliefs is a challenger and I am automatically incompatible with that person. Even if they willfully supress those "emotions" they'll still feel uncomfortable.

Might also have to do with the heart, saw a documentary that said the magnetic waves put out by the heart can be picked up as far away as 6 ft with modern equipment.

Dunno, just a theory I have.

Though there is a flipside. Sometimes I'll meet people and automatically without even knowing the person's name I know I'll like this person.

pushylady · Jan 13, 2007

Originally Posted by Lemur 6

Yep, I feel that way all the time. Though there's little scientific proof, I don't think it's not inconceiveable that people give off emotional hormonal signals to each other soley depedent on a person's beliefs and tastes. A new comer comes near an established "group", a couple, or maybe even just one person in the group senses you're not "one of them" and doesn't like you, unintentionally sets off a hormonal signal that's received by everyone else in the group, who are all now sending out "we don't like this person" vibes. You feel these vibes, and you feel uncomfortable and you reciprocate with a hormonal signal of your own. In the end neither party likes each other and the more they hang around each other, the more hormones the pump out and the more they dislike each other until one gives up and runs off.

I think this is where prejudice originates from, and race and beliefs plays heavily on it (race and beliefs are generally intertwined). Subconsciously, people are thinking, anyone who does not believe in, or thinks against my beliefs is a challenger and I am automatically incompatible with that person. Even if they willfully supress those "emotions" they'll still feel uncomfortable.

Might also have to do with the heart, saw a documentary that said the magnetic waves put out by the heart can be picked up as far away as 6 ft with modern equipment.

Dunno, just a theory I have.

Though there is a flipside. Sometimes I'll meet people and automatically without even knowing the person's name I know I'll like this person.

Oh I love your theory!! You know, there is so much going on that we humans don't clue in to on a conscious level. And it's true that sometimes, for whatever reason, you just don't fit into a group.
I love those times when you meet someone and just click. You just know you'll get along without even knowing each other yet.

trouts mom · Jan 13, 2007

Oh that would suck. The last time I felt like that was probably in grade 8 I think

It sucks to feel like the outcast

Well, at least we love you

tavia'smom · Jan 13, 2007

Originally Posted by katiemae1277

I've felt like that most of my life, no matter where I was

I might just be paranoid too

I feel like quite often and not sure if I am paranoid or what but I do know that it might be a genetic thing with me my dad hates crowds of people and I am the same way. I am okay with a small group like maybe 5 people and that's pushing it with me.

Originally Posted by Kiwideus

Yes! Not too long ago, I went to my best friends birthday party and my hubby and I were completely ignored, except by her younger sister. They were all doctors like my best friend is, and they made us non doctor people feel so small. I havent had much to do with my best friend since then, since she became a doctor, her personality has completely changed - its all about the money for her now.

I had a friend who completely changed and I don't go around anymore but with her it was a bit different she got married and the family she married into is all well to do types and she doesn't seem to interested in talking anymore.

lsulover · Jan 13, 2007

I have been told that I could talk to a stump, so it don't matter to me if they wanna talk to me or not, I still talk to them, and if I know they don't wanna talk to me, that makes me talk that much more, I will even follow them around just to aggravate them.

ohnoaninfp · Jan 13, 2007

I feel that a lot. I feel like I don't belong or sometimes shouldn't be there. Sometimes I think its just insecurity getting in the way or shyness. I dont generally trust people.

starryeyedtiger · Jan 13, 2007

Originally Posted by halfpint

Oh Now Nikki we know your weird you didn't have to say that

Thankyou Lois

ilovesiamese · Jan 13, 2007

I definately have.

Growing up I was the chubby kids, so I automatically did not have girlfriends but I did fit in with the boys until about grade 9. After that I only had a close group of friends. I guess it doesn't help that I am such an opinionated person that is bull headed most the time (wrong or right unfortunately) and I don't conform to much so I normally do stand out, sometimes good, sometimes bad.

I also think that when I think I don't fit in, it has more to do with my own insecurities than anything else.

lunasmom · Jan 13, 2007

Phew! I feel better now. Just spent today in class and this semester people are a little more outgoing and friendlier.

Plus thank the Internet that TCS is here for me!

catcrazyperson · Jan 13, 2007

aw, poor you!

i know how you feel we are the uh, black sheep in our family. or so i think. they all have nice houses and expensive clothes, but we're just average. oh well. i've learned to deal with it i guess.

glad people are freindlier now!

Did you ever go someplace

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