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Need some reassurance

post #1 of 20
Thread Starter 
For some time now I have known that an old aquaitance of mine is not taking care of her mother. Her mother has Alzheirmers Disease and although she lives with this person's father he isn't taking care of her either. Its like they don't want to accept that she can't do for herself anymore. Well when I stopped over at this girl's parents house I smelled urine on her mother and she looked as if she hadn't had a bath in a long time and the house was filthy. And when I asked her why the house was dirty this young lady's response was well mom, the one with the disease, won't clean the house and she stated that her and her dad hit her mom but she still won't clean the house. And I asked her why she would hit her own mother and she stated it was to make her clean the house. And then I proceeded to tell her that her mother wasn't able to clean the house anymore and I asked her if she would consider placing her mother in a nursing home and she said they couldn't because her mom isn't a US Citzen she is a German Citzen whom her dad met when he was in the army. And I said but because she is married to him she should be able to be placed in a home anyway and they don't seem open to this. And all of this has progressively gotten worse.

At one point and time their first home burned down while she was home alone and I still don't know how she made it out. And yet he still leaves her at home alone. And so I finally worked up the courage to report them today for elder abuse to the social workers. And I am wondering if I was right in doing so. I know they will probably know who did it and they may retaliate although I am not that worried about that. But would you have turned them in. I give the social workers alot of info based on what I know and what they have told me.
post #2 of 20
You have all my reassurance that you did the right thing!! Don't worry about retaliation they are going to be too busy trying to justify why she is in that condition they won't have time to worry about who turned them in.
post #3 of 20
Gail, you definitely did the right thing...........those people should be locked up for abuse! WHO HITS their mother????
post #4 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by kittylover4ever View Post
Gail, you definitely did the right thing...........those people should be locked up for abuse! WHO HITS their mother????
Well, some of us had really bad mothers.....

But with her being sick she certainly needs someone to care for her. You did the right thing, Gail.
post #5 of 20
Gail, you did the right thing, there are certain people/animals in our society that unfortunately do not have a voice and someone has to speak for them or stick up for them, like animals, children and the elderly, pat yourself on the back!
post #6 of 20
You definitely did the right thing.
post #7 of 20
I, too, believe that you did the right thing. What this woman's husband and daughter are doing are reprehensible. This woman needs proper medical care and monitoring, not sitting at home in filth and in an abusive environment.
post #8 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by Essayons89 View Post
I, too, believe that you did the right thing. What thisd woman's husband and daughter are doing are reprehensible. This woman needs proper medical care and monitoring, not sitting at home in filth and in an abusive environment.
post #9 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by Essayons89 View Post
I, too, believe that you did the right thing. What this woman's husband and daughter are doing are reprehensible. This woman needs proper medical care and monitoring, not sitting at home in filth and in an abusive environment.
Me, three!
post #10 of 20
You did the right thing, and they might think you did it but they will never know for sure and if I were you I would just deny, deny. they won't ask.

You should not feel guilty, you helped all of them. They are not probably aware of what services are out there or how to get them, they sound a little ignorant, so by sending the social worker out there, they will be hooked up with whatever is available for them, you did a good deed.
post #11 of 20
Gail, good on you for reporting them. You did the right thing.
post #12 of 20
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tavia'smom View Post
And so I finally worked up the courage to report them today for elder abuse to the social workers. And I am wondering if I was right in doing so. I know they will probably know who did it and they may retaliate although I am not that worried about that. But would you have turned them in. I give the social workers alot of info based on what I know and what they have told me.
You absolutely did the right thing!!!!!

Thank you for caring enough about this lady to help her get her out of that horrible living situation!

Please let us know what happens. Elder abuse is a serious, and much more frequently occuring than many people want to think about.
post #13 of 20
You did the right thing! Somebody has to stand up for this poor lady who can’t defend herself.
post #14 of 20
You absolutely did the right thing. I only hope the investigator gets out there soon. The mom is not competent to care for herself and the family members don't seem to care. Even if they don't think she is eligible for nursing home care they should have some understanding of her mental condition. Their behavior appalls me.
post #15 of 20
Absolutely! She can't speak for herself and no one should come to that point in their life and not have someone to care for them and look after them. It's reprehensible what her husband and daughter did. If you didn't report them, I'd be asking for info so that I could!
post #16 of 20
Yes, Absolutely, Positively you did the right thing.

If I were the mother, I would be begging inside for someone to help me. It's just dispicable!
post #17 of 20
Of course you did the right thing. Alzheimer's patients cannot speak for themselves and are very misunderstood.
We had a similar situation with my SO's grandmother (she raised him, since his mother is a despicable person) and I ended up caring for her until she passed away. Seeing her with bruises just made me want to hurt somebody. Having seen it first-hand, I am so glad you turned them in. They should be put in prison.
post #18 of 20
Thread Starter 
Here's something that scares me the lady doesn't speak English very well and I am not sure that she can answer any questions they ask her. Its a very broken English and its seemed to have gotten worse in time but I did tell them about her being from Germany so maybe they will understand her English not being the greatest.
post #19 of 20
You did the right thing!!! Don't even second guess what you did. Wouldn't you want someone to look out for your Mom if she couldn't? Of course you would.
post #20 of 20
You did the right thing sweetie. I wish everyone had someone like you to stand up for them. You are such a great lady! You taking up for her will definitely make a difference in her condition and quality of life......what they did to her was abuse. It was not right. I support you in your decision- i am glad you helped her out
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