Howdie y'all...
I just received this from my sis-in-law today and I wanted to share with y'all. Don't know if any of you watch Family Guy or not but if you do, you're familiar with Stewie...well, just imagine Stewie's voice narrating the cat's part...
Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary:
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Placed in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary:
Day 683 of my captivity:
My captors continue to taunt me with
bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly
on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed
hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I
make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I
nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my
strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my
dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I
once again vomit on the floor.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its
headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would
strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates what I am capable of. However,
they merely made condescending comments about what a
"good little hunter" I am. The audacity!
There was some sort of assembly of their
accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary
confinement for the duration of the event. However, I
could hear the noises and smell the food. I
overheard that my confinement was due to the power
"allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to
use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt
to assasinate one of my tormentors by weaving around
his feet as he was walking. I must try this again
tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here
are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special
privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to
be more than willing to return. He is obviously
retarded!
The bird has got to be an informant. I
observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I
am certain that he reports my every move. My captors
have arranged protective custody for him in an
elevated cell, so he is safe ........... for now...
Hilda >^..^<
I just received this from my sis-in-law today and I wanted to share with y'all. Don't know if any of you watch Family Guy or not but if you do, you're familiar with Stewie...well, just imagine Stewie's voice narrating the cat's part...
Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary:
8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Placed in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!
Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary:
Day 683 of my captivity:
My captors continue to taunt me with
bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly
on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed
hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I
make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I
nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my
strength.
The only thing that keeps me going is my
dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I
once again vomit on the floor.
Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its
headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would
strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly
demonstrates what I am capable of. However,
they merely made condescending comments about what a
"good little hunter" I am. The audacity!
There was some sort of assembly of their
accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary
confinement for the duration of the event. However, I
could hear the noises and smell the food. I
overheard that my confinement was due to the power
"allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to
use it to my advantage.
Today I was almost successful in an attempt
to assasinate one of my tormentors by weaving around
his feet as he was walking. I must try this again
tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.
I am convinced that the other prisoners here
are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special
privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to
be more than willing to return. He is obviously
retarded!
The bird has got to be an informant. I
observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I
am certain that he reports my every move. My captors
have arranged protective custody for him in an
elevated cell, so he is safe ........... for now...
Hilda >^..^<
