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Now, why didn't they tell us this BEFORE Christmas?

post #1 of 13
Thread Starter 
Rules for Buying Gifts for Men


• Rule #1: When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill.
It does not matter if he already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and
he has yet to complain. As a man, you can never have too many
cordless drills. No one knows why.


• Rule #2: If you cannot afford a cordless drill, buy
him anything with the word ratchet or socket in it. Men love saying
those two words. "Hey George, can I borrow your ratchet?"
"OK. By-the-way, are you through with my 3/8-inch socket yet?"
Again, no one knows why.


• Rule #3: If you are really, really broke, buy him anything for his car.
A 99-cent ice scraper, a small bottle of de-icer or something to hang
from his rear view mirror. Men love gifts for their cars. No one knows
why.


• Rule #4: Do not buy men socks. Do not buy men ties. And never buy
men bathrobes. If men really wanted to wear bathrobes, they wouldn't
have invented Jockey shorts.


• Rule #5: You can buy men new remote controls to replace the ones they
have worn out. If you have a lot of money buy your man a big-screen TV
with the little picture in the corner. Watch him go wild as he flips,
and flips, and flips.


• Rule #6: Do not buy any man industrial-sized canisters of after-shave or
deodorant. I'm told they do not stink - they are earthy.


• Rule #7: Buy men label makers. They are almost as good as cordless
drills. Within a couple of weeks there will be labels absolutely
everywhere. "Socks. Shorts. Cups. Saucers. Door. Lock. Sink." You get
the idea. No one knows why.


• Rule #8: Never buy a man anything that says "some assembly required"
on the box. It will ruin his Special Day and he will always have parts left over.


• Rule #9: Good places to shop for men include Northwest Iron Works,
Lowes, Home Depot, John Deere, Valley RV Center, and Les Schwab Tire.
NAPA Auto Parts and Sears' Clearance Centers are also excellent men's
stores. It doesn't matter if he doesn't know what it is. "From NAPA Auto, eh?
Must be something I need. Hey! Isn't this a starter for a '68 Ford Fairlane?
Wow! Thanks."


• Rule #10: Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook-but they will
barbecue. Get him a monster barbecue with a 100-pound propane tank.
Tell him the gas line leaks. "Oh the thrill! The challenge! Who wants a
hamburger?"


• Rule #11: Tickets to a football game are a smart gift. However, he will
not appreciate tickets to "A Retrospective of 19th Century Quilts."
Everyone knows why.


• Rule #12: Men love chainsaws. Never, ever, buy a man
you love a chain saw. If you don't know why-please refer to Rule
#8 and what happens when he gets a label maker.


• Rule #13: It's hard to beat a really good wheelbarrow or an aluminum
extension ladder. Never buy a real man a step ladder. It must be an
extension ladder. No one knows why.


• Rule #14: Rope. Men love rope. It takes us back to our cowboy origins,
or at least The Boy Scouts. Nothing says love like a hundred feet of
3/8" manila rope. No one knows why.
post #2 of 13
Lol! #8 fits my husband!
post #3 of 13
post #4 of 13
Those are great / I disagree on the robe one though- Colin LOVES his bath robes!! MY mom got him and I matching robes for Christmas (mine is red and has my first name, Lydia, on it and his is navy blue and has, Colin, on it) They're super soft microfiber.....and we wear ours ALL the time / So he's the odd ball who loves to wear his bath robes
post #5 of 13
LMAO! It's funny because it's true!

I honestly love practical gifts. For instance, a girl I was dating once gave me new dishes and glasses in a style she knew I would like for our anniversary. I got her a ring from Tiffanys. I was happy... she was happy.

DON'T get me any knick knacks, unless it is an autographed photo of my favorite sports player, Muhammad Ali, Chicago Cubs, Clemson Tigers, etc.

DO decorate my place... but not in floral girly prints. I want a cool looking place but I have no idea how to do it. I want masculine or gender neutral decoration at least until you marry me. I know marriage comes with complete rights to decorating. Just let me have one man room.

DON'T get me a stuffed animal - especially not one that is a baby doll dressed in a tiger suit because your nickname for me is "Tiger". Can you tell that is from a personal experience?

DO buy yourself lingerie. That is indeed a gift for ME.

DON'T buy me jewelery.

DO buy me tickets to a Cubs game or pretty much any sporting event. A night out at a game with a lady and a beer is a great gift.

Finally, if you can't think of anything else, give the gift of sex.
post #6 of 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by churchi4cubs View Post
LMAO! It's funny because it's true!

I honestly love practical gifts. For instance, a girl I was dating once gave me new dishes and glasses in a style she knew I would like for our anniversary. I got her a ring from Tiffanys. I was happy... she was happy.

DON'T get me any knick knacks, unless it is an autographed photo of my favorite sports player, Muhammad Ali, Chicago Cubs, Clemson Tigers, etc.

DO decorate my place... but not in floral girly prints. I want a cool looking place but I have no idea how to do it. I want masculine or gender neutral decoration at least until you marry me. I know marriage comes with complete rights to decorating. Just let me have one man room.

DON'T get me a stuffed animal - especially not one that is a baby doll dressed in a tiger suit because your nickname for me is "Tiger". Can you tell that is from a personal experience?

DO buy yourself lingerie. That is indeed a gift for ME.

DON'T buy me jewelery.

DO buy me tickets to a Cubs game or pretty much any sporting event. A night out at a game with a lady and a beer is a great gift.

Finally, if you can't think of anything else, give the gift of sex.

You crack me up!
post #7 of 13
These ARE my husband!

• Rule #10: Men enjoy danger. That's why they never cook-but they will
barbecue. Get him a monster barbecue with a 100-pound propane tank.
Tell him the gas line leaks. "Oh the thrill! The challenge! Who wants a
hamburger?"

• Rule #14: Rope. Men love rope. It takes us back to our cowboy origins,
or at least The Boy Scouts. Nothing says love like a hundred feet of
3/8" manila rope. No one knows why.

For Valentines Day I am going to buy him a grappling hook. In his "private" moments he thinks he a ninja.
post #8 of 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by churchi4cubs View Post
LMAO! It's funny because it's true!

I honestly love practical gifts. For instance, a girl I was dating once gave me new dishes and glasses in a style she knew I would like for our anniversary. I got her a ring from Tiffanys. I was happy... she was happy.

DON'T get me any knick knacks, unless it is an autographed photo of my favorite sports player, Muhammad Ali, Chicago Cubs, Clemson Tigers, etc.

DO decorate my place... but not in floral girly prints. I want a cool looking place but I have no idea how to do it. I want masculine or gender neutral decoration at least until you marry me. I know marriage comes with complete rights to decorating. Just let me have one man room.

DON'T get me a stuffed animal - especially not one that is a baby doll dressed in a tiger suit because your nickname for me is "Tiger". Can you tell that is from a personal experience?

DO buy yourself lingerie. That is indeed a gift for ME.

DON'T buy me jewelery.

DO buy me tickets to a Cubs game or pretty much any sporting event. A night out at a game with a lady and a beer is a great gift.

Finally, if you can't think of anything else, give the gift of sex.
Ok, you get your man-card for the day!! Are you related to my husband by chance?

#2: I got my hubby a ratcheting screwdriver for Christmas this year. As he was standing on a ladder on Christmas eve trying to screw in a ceiling fan bracket in a 10 foot ceiling, I told him he needed to open up a present.

His response: what are you nuts - I'll open it when I'm done

An hour later he is still trying to screw in the bracket. As he climbs down the ladder for a potty break, I ask him to open up a present again.

His response: what is so important about opening up a d*mn present? (he's really irritated by the 1 hour job that is turning into a 5 hour job)

I hand him the present.

He squeezes the package and gets a twinkle in his eye. He opens it up and asks me why I didn't give it to him an hour ago.

The bracket was done in 10 minutes.

True story. I do know why #2 is true!!
post #9 of 13
#4 and #8 are true for me haha

when in doubt a book will do(at least for me)

oh and
DO buy yourself lingerie. That is indeed a gift for ME. that works also.
post #10 of 13
Label makers are awesome! I just asked my dad what he wanted and got it for him.He wanted sock rings. Sock rings are these little rings you put a pair of socks into so they wont get lost in the wash. Also if you don't know what to get someone, take a look at what type of alcohol they drink and buy them a bottle. Not a good idea if they are an alcoholic though. Oh and model airplanes are awesome too.
post #11 of 13
I got hubby a portable DVD player - and guess who's using it?
post #12 of 13
LMAO at the label maker - my grandparents gave my dad a labelmaker for his birthday and he didnt want it so he put it in the cupboard. I asked to look at it and opened the box and there was no labelmaker inside!!! I guess the shop forgot to put it inside. But too much time had gone by and he could not tell my grandparents that there was nothing inside, so the box is just sitting in the cupboard lol.

That is so true about the cordless drill and my hubby. Any tool will do for him actually.

But he was so happy with my gift this year - a brand new mountain bike - he loves it as it was all he talked about so I just had to get him one!
post #13 of 13
Quote:
Originally Posted by Momofmany View Post
Ok, you get your man-card for the day!! Are you related to my husband by chance?

#2: I got my hubby a ratcheting screwdriver for Christmas this year. As he was standing on a ladder on Christmas eve trying to screw in a ceiling fan bracket in a 10 foot ceiling, I told him he needed to open up a present.

His response: what are you nuts - I'll open it when I'm done

An hour later he is still trying to screw in the bracket. As he climbs down the ladder for a potty break, I ask him to open up a present again.

His response: what is so important about opening up a d*mn present? (he's really irritated by the 1 hour job that is turning into a 5 hour job)

I hand him the present.

He squeezes the package and gets a twinkle in his eye. He opens it up and asks me why I didn't give it to him an hour ago.

The bracket was done in 10 minutes.

True story. I do know why #2 is true!!
That is so funny! I can understand his frustration though. What were you thinking? The man needed it an hour early, why did you make him work so hard screwing in that bracket?

I think a nifty flash light should have made the list. We got my daughters father (my roomate ) a flash light by time he put it down the batteries were dead and we were blind.
"hey, look, brite isn't it? click on click off" Light spots and impaired vision for days!
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