Is it a guy thing?

Not to be sexist, but just wondering. I am a mom and my two daughters and I are trying to train our kitten to be gentle. He can be a biting, crazy maniac some of the time, and the sweetest snuggle puss in history other times. We never play with him with our hands, because we don't want him biting and scratching us. But my college age son just doesn't get it. It's like he can't help himself, he just has to use his fingers to play with him. He keeps forgetting. He's pretty gentle though, but still likes to egg him on.

Then I noticed it is all guys, except my partner - who is around a lot and doesn't like getting bitten either! The gardener came in and started wrestling with him with his gloves on. Kitty went nuts, running all over the house like a maniac, biting and scratching him. My gardener friend loved it until I told him to please stop. Then we had a couple for dinner, and the guy also wrestled with him with his fingers. He took his head in his big hands and turned it this way and that and said, it's a left hook, now it's a right hook. I had to also tell him to stop. Actually, I said, "We're trying to train him not to go after our hands." And he said, "I guess I'm not helping, am I?" And another guy who came last week did the same thing.

As my daughter would say, What's up with this?? Is this just our experience? Or is it a guy needing to wrestle thing.

LOL it's their small brains. Okay, sorry, couldn't resist myself -- sorry to all the male cat lovers out there...

They'll stop when kitty becomes a cat. Wanna know why? Cause they won't want to be scratched to you-know-what, and small brains or not, they get that. My husband would be the first to "wrestle" with a kitten, but put a cat in front of him and he'll behave himself so he gets to keep all his fingers. In the meantime, you'll probably have to keep asking your male friends and family to stop.

Maybe it's because they play with puppies that way and think it's ok? and you have to admit, hand wrestling with kittens is fun of course those that have to care for the little ones know better than to give into those cute faces.
If you know there's going to be guys over that will want to play with the kitten maybe you can give them an appropriate toy to use?

Maybe give them a toy instead? You'd think those needle sharp claws would deter them!

lol after years and years of having cats. i have never been bitten or scratched
once they get past there kitten stange. Minus the times i forget to trim there claws. My friends will often think my cat is teaing my arm off the way she pins her ear back and takes a flying leap to attack my arm or leg,

Really i think its more a women thing, they worry about getting a little mark on there arm or something.

lol like anything else, they need to learn what point to stop,. If the kitten is bitting to hard, i will put him down. if he does not stop i will put him in his room. EVen now at his age,.hmm 5 months now?
he knows when i say Eazy he will relax, and i say stop he stops.

PS- of course i am guy.,

I have to admit even though I am a woman I am tempted to wrestle with kittens. I don't because I don't want to have an adult cat who wants to continue playing that way.

We're not afraid of a scratch?

I'm not afraid of a scratch, but my kitten can really shred us if he gets going.
No offense meant to any male cat people out there. I was just sharing an observation. Kind of like when I had my kids in daycare, and the girls used their legos to play house and share, and the boys used them to bop each other over their heads. They both had fun . . . just in different ways! I do have a male kitten. Hmmm. Maybe that's why he likes to wrestle so much. Maybe I'm being overprotective?

lol i was teasing.

No i do understand, its a different in play style.
like what you said about the kids in daycare. My cats think nothing of a running sneak attack, then will expect me play chase. I am sure people would think i was strange for chasing cats all over the house. But once they get bored they will just meow at me,and give me that look of, why are you chasing me.

i am sure there are many guys that dont want to get scratched(i am not fan of it),
and there will be others here with different stories. But that has been my xp

Originally Posted by Kiva13

Not to be sexist, but just wondering. I am a mom and my two daughters and I are trying to train our kitten to be gentle. He can be a biting, crazy maniac some of the time, and the sweetest snuggle puss in history other times. We never play with him with our hands, because we don't want him biting and scratching us. But my college age son just doesn't get it. It's like he can't help himself, he just has to use his fingers to play with him. He keeps forgetting. He's pretty gentle though, but still likes to egg him on.

Then I noticed it is all guys, except my partner - who is around a lot and doesn't like getting bitten either! The gardener came in and started wrestling with him with his gloves on. Kitty went nuts, running all over the house like a maniac, biting and scratching him. My gardener friend loved it until I told him to please stop. Then we had a couple for dinner, and the guy also wrestled with him with his fingers. He took his head in his big hands and turned it this way and that and said, it's a left hook, now it's a right hook. I had to also tell him to stop. Actually, I said, "We're trying to train him not to go after our hands." And he said, "I guess I'm not helping, am I?" And another guy who came last week did the same thing.

As my daughter would say, What's up with this??

Is this just our experience?

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Or is it a guy needing to wrestle thing.

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I see I have to go on the defense here. My sister-in-laws are constantly coming over here and poking their fingers into Persi's face to get a reaction (biting) out of him. I have four sister-in-laws and they all get a kick out of doing it. But each of them will tell me that I brush him to hard and am not gentle enough with him. So, this poking finger business, is this just a woman thing or is this just my experience?

LOL - I'm covered in scratches and scars, and my male roomie refused to help me wipe poop off Ferris' butt while I held him. Why? Because he was afraid to get scratched! Arrrggghhh.

Personally, from my own experience, I think it's pure male agression and needing to feel large, so they wrestle with the little kittens, making them agressive, then back off when they start scratching and biting for real.

I don't know how many times I had to stop my roomie from playing that way with Ginger when she was a kit. Fortunatly, Ferris came into the house as a very feral kitten, so my roomie was too intimidated to ever start playing that way with him. Thank goodness!

Well I think it is a guy thing. My husband insisted on roughousing with Brady failry soon after he (Brady, not my husband) came upstairs. I went nuts and asked him to stop and DH kept saying "He likes it, he thinks it's fun".

I realized he was right. He would wrestle, swat, poke,do all kinds of things while my jaw was wide open and Brady would scurry off -- only to return 1-1/2 seconds later for more. The cat LOVED it! Actually Brady tries to keep his claws in, but considering he only started being a pet after 1 year of being feral I think he is doing pretty well.

I see the same thing with my step-son-in-law. When he started boxing with their tiny kitten I could not believe it. He put up his dukes and was saying "Show me what you got, little man." And the little male kitty did just that.

Women DO have thinner skin than guys so cut us some slack please , DH is always amazed at how easily I bruise and the welts I get from teeny scratches. If it were up to me I would be an indestructible amazon but unfortunately I was not built rugged. So now I have one of those long-fingered gloves so I can roughhouse too but not get scratched.

Haha, this is a cute thread. I'm guilty though, and I'm a woman. I just can't resist playing with my kitties with my hands. It's not that I poke them or rub their bellies or anything like that. But I like to play mouse with my hands. Quickly hiding them under the pillow or the covers in bed. Paris loves this game with a passion. She chases my hand and every once in awhile she'll jab me with one of those claws, but a quick painful yelp will set her back to being gentle.

It's so much fun to do this, and I'm sure not to touch her with my playfull hand after the games start, she has to come to me. And when I do touch her, playtime is over and she's getting pet. She realizes that. Cairo likes to play "bed mice" where I wiggle my toes and fingers under the down, and she finds a way under and attacks them. She is sooo gentle though you'd think she was declawed. She has yet to put those claws out during play with me.

My boyfriend hates it when I play with my hands with the kittens though. He's the one enforcing the rules.

We haven't laid down any ground rules about not using our hands to rough-house with the cats, but J does it and I don't, and our cats seem to understand that that's the way it works. Spike and Oz will play rough with J to the point where they rabbit-kick his arm to shreds and sink their teeth into his feet, but with me they act like they're afraid I might break. The only time I get bitten or scratched is when I pet one of them after their purrpa gets them all worked up and they're still in "kill" mode. I'm fairly tough, however: I don't bruise easily (actually, I don't really bruise at all) and if my thick skin gets scratched it heals fairly quickly; I'm also not afraid of pain (after years of suffering from migraines I have a very high tolerance for pain). I just don't like rough-housing with my cats -- I'd rather use a wand toy or a fuzzy mouse than my own hands. (Hands and feet under the bedsheets don't count -- I play that game all the time.)

However, I should say that I did rough-house with my parents' cat when I was a teenager and even though she's 18 years old now I can still get her all riled up. (She's not aware of the fact that's a very elderly cat. She's pretty sure she's still a kitten.) I also play rough with dogs, including particularly big dogs that could do a lot of damage to me if they put their mind to it. I guess I'd just rather cuddle with my kitties than see if I can get them to rip my arm off.

Originally Posted by theimp98

lol like anything else, they need to learn what point to stop,. If the kitten is bitting to hard, i will put him down. if he does not stop i will put him in his room. EVen now at his age,.hmm 5 months now?
he knows when i say Eazy he will relax, and i say stop he stops.

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Yup, Cosmo knows the "Eaaaasy" word too. He's a player (no, not that kind, LOL) and tends to want to get rough but he seems to know, for the most part, not to bite hard or pull out the claws. Only time he's actually scratched me is when I've neglected to trim them and he catches me by accident. If he starts biting and attacking and I say "Easy" he immediately backs off or lightens up.

By the way, he DID catch me good once by accident (when I had indeed not clipped his nails) and his pointy little claw got stuck in my finger and for a moment we were stuck together. Can you say OUCH! I have tattoos and piercings and am NOT a wimp, but man did that hurt! LOL

My husband plays with Ping like that. But Ping knows that mommy does not play like that and very rarely does he try anymore. And when he does he will usually stop when I say no. He seems to look more at the hubby as the person to play with, while I am the feeder, brusher, clean the litter box out snuggle person.

I think you're right about the kitty liking it. It's me who doesn't like it when he's in attack mode. He's got these huge round green eyes, and when he makes intense non-stop eye contact with his butt wigggling away, I know I better look away or throw some covers over my head. (Which he also loves.)

Originally Posted by Kiva13

I'm not afraid of a scratch, but my kitten can really shred us if he gets going.
No offense meant to any male cat people out there. I was just sharing an observation. Kind of like when I had my kids in daycare, and the girls used their legos to play house and share, and the boys used them to bop each other over their heads. They both had fun . . . just in different ways! I do have a male kitten. Hmmm. Maybe that's why he likes to wrestle so much. Maybe I'm being overprotective?

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None taken, I was teasing as well. I'm not a fan of walking out in public looking like a rapist with scratches all over my face and arms. I got nailed plenty when we first brought him home and I had all kinds of looks because of the scratches up and down my arms.hehehehe.

It's become a lot less of a problem now, Poe learned pretty fast that if you scratch daddy, play time is over. hehe.