Time to give up(Ophelia & Lily)?

I was all gung-ho about re-introducing Lily & Ophelia(again). I set Ophelia up in the bathroom this am. After about 3 hours, I moved Ophelia back downstairs. Basically, the entire 3 hours was spent with Ophelia & Lily freaking out & harming themselves attacking the door between them/growling/hissing, etc. I had a Feliway diffuser in the bathroom as well as one right outside the door. I had sprayed feliway on a blanket for Ophelia, too.

I have become very doubtful that they will get along at all judging by the "little" display they put on for me. I can't even get Lily on the same floor as Ophelia. As soon as she catches sight/smell of Ophelia, she panicks & does not hesitate to harm any people in her way to a hidey-hole.

I realize I am giving up rather quickly, after only giving them a few hours, but I was scared. Lily kept trying to attack me. This is my sweet, timid kitty that has never ever misbehaved, let alone tried to attack me.

Should I keep trying, or do I just keep the two of them seperate? (Note-I will not euthanize Ophelia, although if a home volunteers to take her & it is good for her, I might rehome her. I will not actively seek out a new home for her.)

You've been working on this for a long time, haven't you? They don't seem to want to make a truce so if you can continue to keep them apart, then do so.

The longer you keep them separate, the less likely it is they'll work it out. Let them interact (when you're around) and get over it, even if it takes a couple of weeks, as it usually does - I'm not a big fan of the whole fancy intro thing as you can tell and all my cats have settled down after being intro'd in person after 10 days or so... and that's a lot of cats over a lot of years!

Originally Posted by Larke

The longer you keep them separate, the less likely it is they'll work it out. Let them interact (when you're around) and get over it, even if it takes a couple of weeks, as it usually does - I'm not a big fan of the whole fancy intro thing as you can tell and all my cats have settled down after being intro'd in person after 10 days or so... and that's a lot of cats over a lot of years!

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I can understand your opinion Larke. However, that simply is not feasible. Either Ophelia or Lily will end up dead in the long run. I do not doubt that they will kill each other. I mean, I've seen cats that don't get along. This is just downright murderous behavior.

I might have to look into seeing if I can find a behaviorist to consult through e-mail. There aren't any locally.

I've always only had one cat until I got Abby 8 years ago as a companion for Chynna because of my long hours of work.

I live in a one bedroom apartment with 1 bathroom and the only doors are the bedroom and bathroom. Chynna sleeps in my bedroom and the bathroom has the cat litter so isolating Abby in one room was not an option.

I got Abby who was 4 months old and plopped her down in the living room and figured they would work out any issues they had.

I made sure I was home on my week off work so that I could keep an eye on them.

I also make sure that I'm "alpha cat" in my home and that my cats are my minions. I don't tolerate them picking on one another and they know that. If I see Chynna picking on Abby I go over and give her a strern "NO!" and put my hand over her face to block her sight of Abby.

Within a few days they were co-existing..pretty much. Chynna still stalked Abby occasionally and leaped on her and Abby would squeal loudly like she was being murdered and run away with Chynna stalking after her. I would go and intervene and do the "NO!" with my hand over Chynna's face.

Now they co-exisit and while they aren't best pals or cuddle buddies, they can sleep a couch cushion away from one another and both sleep in the same bed with me. It took Chynna months to come back to sleeping in my bed. She was really put out by Abby coming to live with us and as soon as she saw Abby jump on the bed, Chynna would jump down and go sleep elsehwhere.

They've come to realize that neither of them are going anywhere and that it's not acceptable to beat up on one another and they both listen to me because I've never allowed one or the other to truly become "Queen" of the house... that's my position.

I'm in agreement that the longer you keep them apart the more difficult it will be. Become the Alpha Cat and stop allowing the negative behaviour to continue and make your position very clear to both of them that neither of them are going anywhere and they need to just accept that and get over it.

Have you tried a bigger room, like a bedroom rather than the bathroom? It could just be that the bathroom is too small and a little more space would allow them to establish turfs. Then you can expand out from there.