Some people.. and its christmas!

Whats your opinion on this?
I am online as you notice.. haha!

Since i moved to this area of Frankfurt, i made friends with this kid who lives down the road (okay he really isnt a kid but he is 18)

THe other day he came over to try and fix my computer, and he told me he has to bring some other stuff over to get it fixed, I told him to come the next night and that he didnt need to call because i would be home.

The next evening i waited untill 11:30 pm and he didnt come around so i just thought well i wont call him. But instead at 00:00 he sends me a text with the word "LOL" So the next day i called him and asked him why he didnt come around, and he said... well i was past your house but all the lights were out. Here i am thinking WELL "HELLO WHATS THE DOOR BELL FOR?"
So he came around that evening and fixed my computer and then left, he doesnt talk much, and i hate doing all the talking, i ended up just watching tv and cleaning up as if he wasnt there.

Last night he asked if he could come around to drink some prosecco to celebrate, and i declined because i had already drunk too much at home..

So to the point, tonight he asks me about what i think of him, but i wasnt sure which way he meant it, so i kind of ignored it, and switched it around so he would tell me what he thinks of me, so now because i havent replied, he writes me an sms stating that he gives up and he will pick up the rest of his things as soon as he needs it.

Now he just Ruined my Christmas day by making me angry, because i had told him that i dont want a relationship, and if he was really that interested in me he wouldnt act so weird about it.

So what do i do now?
Ditch him as a friend? or how the heck am i supposed to stay friends with someone who is so shy and gets angry at me for stupid things?

Try humor. Fran, to him you're an "older woman", and maybe he doesn't have any, or much, dating experience, so this is daunting to him. It sounds as if he's more comfortable with text messages than he is with face-to-face conversation, so maybe you could make a joke about that?

Last night he asked if he could come around to drink some prosecco to celebrate, and i declined because i had already drunk too much at home..

So to the point, tonight he asks me about what i think of him, but i wasnt sure which way he meant it, so i kind of ignored it, and switched it around so he would tell me what he thinks of me, so now because i havent replied, he writes me an sms stating that he gives up and he will pick up the rest of his things as soon as he needs it.

Now he just Ruined my Christmas day by making me angry, because i had told him that i dont want a relationship, and if he was really that interested in me he wouldnt act so weird about it.

So what do i do now?
Ditch him as a friend? or how the heck am i supposed to stay friends with someone who is so shy and gets angry at me for stupid things?

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haha

He's 18 and you're 28! Think about it!

He's the naive young man (probably a virgin), and you're the "experienced" older woman! They made a movie about that called "Mrs. Robinson."

If it were me and he was a cutie, I'd probably go for it. I've always dated younger men. My last long term relationship was with someone 10 years younger than me. A few years ago I was dating a guy 14 years younger than me.

Well, two years can seem like a big difference to an 18-year-old boy, especially if he's shy. It's not a "Mrs. Robinson" type thing, but he's going to assume she's more experienced and worldly-wise.

Originally Posted by jcat

Well, two years can seem like a big difference to an 18-year-old boy, especially if he's shy. It's not a "Mrs. Robinson" type thing, but he's going to assume she's more experienced and worldly-wise.

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Well ive made that joke.... He doesnt seem to get my humour!

I made that joke to Matthias before, and he didnt care that i was a year and a bit older, but this guy is a little younger, and yes he hasnt dated alot like me.

I have even told him that i dont want a relationship because im at the fase where i just want to party with my friends on the weekends, and that i dont want to stay in this country for much longer, and he seemed to get even more upset.

I just feel sorry for him because... he fell for my charm!

He sent me another text msg last night while i was sleeping, going "i just realised i have 0 chances, and now im depressed about it"

To me it just sounds like he wants attention, i mean i understand because im also an only child but if you want a woman thats not how to get her attention...

Sounds like he is now testing the water, you have told him you don't want a relationship, so he's doing the old feel sorry for myself act to see how you react to it, maybe he thinks that will change your mind?
The guy is obviously without experiance and he is still young so probably has no confidence and doesn't know what to do, or how to behave, all he knows is he likes you very much!

I don't think you should give up the friendship, but need to make sure he knows the bounderies of the friendship from the start, hope it works out for you.

Don't let this nonsense ruin your holidays Fran! Think real hard about 18yo boys.....they don't know what the heck is going on half the time! I think you should just be the mature woman that you are, and tell him he should come over so that you can talk about whatever is or is not going on..... then, sit him down and say look, I like you, I think your nice, but to be honest, I don't get what the heck you want. I tried to talk to you, but you didn't seem up for conversation. I'm up for being friends, but if we're friends we need to be up front & honest about things, I can't spend my time wondering what the heck you mean, what you want, or trying to understand the meaning behind your text messages.... And go from there. I think he will appreciate (although it'll be uncomfortable for him at 1st) your honesty, and you making the 1st move to lay it all on the table.

Originally Posted by jcat

Try humor. Fran, to him you're an "older woman",

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Maybe you need a cane Fran.... ....


....... ...Just kidding my friend....

Ooops. Sorry. I thought I saw in your profile that you are 28, but in fact you are 20.

He has a crush on you. And unfortunately it sounds like he's very immature for his age and insecure probably due to lack of experience with girls, that it will probably not be possible to have a basic friendship with him without him trying for more. So you have to decide whether you want to keep warding off his inept passes.

My advice would be to socialize with him in a group instead of one on one intimate settings such as your home.