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How to enjoy your holiday....

post #1 of 12
Thread Starter 
I thought this was cute, and thought you all might get a giggle out of it!

Very good Holiday Tips!!


1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table
knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots,
leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare.

In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now.
So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going

to turn into an eggnog-aholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two.

It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone.

Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass.

Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of

going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's.
You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is
the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet
table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies

in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as

you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you

leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or, if you don't like

mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to

have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories,

but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying

attention. Reread tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.

Remember this motto to live by:

"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive

and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other,
body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"


Have an amazing holiday season!
post #2 of 12
Excellent advice!!
post #3 of 12
Thats cute!
post #4 of 12
My kind of party, for sure!
post #5 of 12
Point No.1 - agree, Point No.2 -agree.............umm yes,yes, yes LETS PARTY
post #6 of 12
Quote:
Originally Posted by LuckyGirl View Post
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass.
Mashed potatoes instead of roasties? I'd be so dissapointed to get mashed potatoes at Christmas, I eat them several times a week so I'd want roast spuds for special occasions
post #7 of 12
Thread Starter 
I liked #5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of

going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

(the funny this is, that sounds just like something I'd say in my funny sarcastic voice! )
post #8 of 12
now that's my kind of holiday!!!!
post #9 of 12
Quote:
Originally Posted by LuckyGirl View Post
9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.
That would be correct- fruit cake fills up the stomach, save the space for more roast potatoes and alcohol
post #10 of 12
Thread Starter 
I also especially appreciated the part that said we were supposed to "skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, martini in the other" that should be my lifes motto!
post #11 of 12
post #12 of 12
One of the local grocery mega stores sells like 5 kinds of eggnog!!! Plus a saw Something else nearby (probably also highly caloric-Dulce Leche milk???) I have to pick up the rest of the Christmas food perhaps I'll have to experiment.
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