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ugh...problem neighbor

post #1 of 22
Thread Starter 
I live on the second floor of a house in a small studio apartment. The woman below me moved in at the beginning of October and she started giving me problems around Thanksgiving. She has come upstairs no less than five times and asked me to "stop stomping around" as she put it. She says I'm making a lot of noise. I am not. I don't blast loud music, I don't deliberately stomp. I admit the futon I sleep on is a bit squeaky but the noise level I am creating, for someone with healthy, normal sleeping patterns, should not be a problem. I know that this woman was sick so it may have something to do with it. But I cannot keep walking on eggshells for someone else. I am not making excessive noise. I am at my wits' end, as just now she thumped on the wall to let me know I was being too loud (I walked over and flopped down on the futon). This is driving me nuts and I am already dealing with so much other crap. I am thinking about bringing this matter to the landlord, but I'm really not sure what to do. This is making me nuts. I should be able to live my life without being harassed every day. I am not going to be perfectly silent, nor am I going to rearrange my life. Can you tell this is beginning to piss me off? It's been a month of this. I can't stay here if this is how it's gonna be.

I just got the worst downstairs neighbor in the universe, apparently. Ugh.
post #2 of 22
Give ear plugs for Christmas!
post #3 of 22
I suppose she would find humor if you complained that her thumping on the wall is too loud…

On a more serious note- would the landlord possibly be willing to let you trade floors with her if she feels it is too noisy? Some of those places have a horrible echo, especially if they have wood floors.
post #4 of 22
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yorda View Post
I suppose she would find humor if you complained that her thumping on the wall is too loud…

On a more serious note- would the landlord possibly be willing to let you trade floors with her if she feels it is too noisy? Some of those places have a horrible echo, especially if they have wood floors.
I am living in a teeny studio above her rather spacious apartment (not sure how many rooms it is, but I know it's way bigger than mine), so I don't think this would be feasible. I got the crap end of the stick as far as my location, the main living area is right above her bedroom. I have never had anyone complain before, so I've decided the problem is her. She seems like a whiner/hypochondriac/insomniac type of a person. I firmly believe anyone else would just fall asleep without any problems and sleep through most noise. I am not being that loud. I am so frustrated that I really am considering quitting this place and giving my month's notice to my landlord at the beginning of January. I can't live above someone who makes me anxious and uncomfortable, I just can't.

I hate that it's come to this, but I may have no other option. The thumping on the wall or ceiling is just too much. It's rude, invasive, and undeserved. I have never done anything to deliberately keep her awake or cause her discomfort. She is treating me with a lot of disrespect, this has been going on for over a month, and I'm plain sick of it.
post #5 of 22
When in doubt, take the high road. Pay her a visit and tell her, kindly and without being defensive or accusatory, that you do not understand how you are making noise. Describe what you have described for us. Invite her up. Ask her input as to what else you can do. If she has been sick or is still sick, maybe she could use a favor like running errands, picking up groceries, etc.

Even if she rebuffs you, if you are sincere with your intentions, you will feel so much better. Even if she continues to be a hemorrhoid, smile and wave when you see her (with a full hand, not just one finger). Don't let her surliness control your actions.

'Tis the season and what better place to spread or create good will than you own home turf?
post #6 of 22
Thread Starter 
I also strongly suspect she's the problem because I lived above a different neighbor for a whole month with no complaints or problems.
post #7 of 22
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Phat Locani View Post
When in doubt, take the high road. Pay her a visit and tell her, kindly and without being defensive or accusatory, that you do not understand how you are making noise. Describe what you have described for us. Invite her up. Ask her input as to what else you can do. If she has been sick or is still sick, maybe she could use a favor like running errands, picking up groceries, etc.

Even if she rebuffs you, if you are sincere with your intentions, you will feel so much better. Even if she continues to be a hemorrhoid, smile and wave when you see her (with a full hand, not just one finger). Don't let her surliness control your actions.

'Tis the season and what better place to spread or create good will than you own home turf?
I don't mean to come off as selfish, but this inevitably will. I have never had problems with any of my neighbors, nor had a lot of contact with them. That's why this situation is making me extremely anxious. And these interactions with her have been extremely unpleasant, with her once threatening to call the police when I didn't come to the door at 2 in the morning. She comes to my door at inappropriate hours of the night and early morning, she is confrontational and mostly just talks at me without listening. I don't feel inclined to do much for her except deal with her diatribes as best I can. I wish I were a sweet girl, but I'm not. I'm just a screwed-up girl trying to get by in the world, and I barely have the energy to help myself, let alone someone who likely has serious issues and who I frankly want nothing to do with.
post #8 of 22
Do you have carpet laid out? If not try that, then you have something to show her that you're trying to make her a little more comfortable.

Unfortunately shared living spaces are never the best. Some people can accept the extra noises, some just can't and those people that can't need to realise this.

Good luck with her...she may just get fed up one day (from the way you make it sound) and move out.
post #9 of 22
I would contact the landlord if she's harassing you at 2 in the morning, and if it were me, everytime you banged on the ceiling or thumped the wall, I would make a an effort to make more noise, but that's just me and I really wouldn't worry about the cops coming, they're not going to do anything if you're just sitting in your apartment. My suggestion would be to tell her to play a radio to drown out your walking around
post #10 of 22
I would speak with her or write her a very polite note (remember it is in writing) explaining that you are being as quiet as you can and you are sorry if you are disturbing her, but you don't know what else to do. I would explain that you would like to live peaceably and that if there is anything else she would like to comment on, that she do it in writing.

I would also contact then landlord, and tell him of her complaints and ask him to carpet your apartment, or help to pay for one for you.
Most apartments on the second floor are required to be 80% carpeted around here. If you don't have carpet, you may include that in her note and ask that she ask the landlord to carpet your place.

If you don't have carpet, getting one will take care of the problem. I have been under uncarpeted apartments, and unless the upstairs person wears slippers all the time, it is noisy. Have you tried wearing slippers?
post #11 of 22
I'm a renter, and I live on the first floor. When I first moved in, there were no issues with sound, but shortly after that the landlord, who lives upstairs, removed all the wall-to-wall carpeting and installed wood floors.

His wife wears high heels in the house and walks like an elephant even though she is only 5 feet tall. I can NEVER hear her much larger husband walking around. When they had carpeting, I heard nothing from upstairs at all, now I have zero ability to get away from the clomping upstairs. It wakes me up in the mornings and keeps me awake when I'm sick and trying to sleep.

I am hypersensitive to certains sounds, repetetive noises like bass subwoofers booming away from a distance, and these sounds boost my anxiety levels. When it gets really bad, I have to self medicate. That's a last resort for me. I have coped with the changes by adding a big fan in my bedroom that I now use as "white noise" every single night. It masks any clomping sounds from above.

It may well be that your downstairs neighbor has some similar issues, but she should NOT be banging on the wall to communicate anything.

I would suggest that you add carpets if you don't already have them, wear slippers in the house if you wear shoes normally, and DEFINITELY speak to your landlord.

Let them know that you want to be a good neighbor, but cannot accept this person banging on the walls at all hours while you are just trying to peacefully live your life. That is just rude and unacceptable behavior.

Suggest to the landlord that they make the suggestion to the new tenant that perhaps a fan might be helpful. I would hope that having some seniority as a tenant there might be to your favor.

Best of luck to you - this is a very tough thing to come home to every day, when all you are looking to do is quietly live your life..
post #12 of 22
If you are in a house that was orginally a one person dwelling and converted to apartments chances are there was not any soundproofing added to deaden the sound. I had lived both in the bottom floor and top of of two houses way back when I was single and renting. The noise never was too bad other than having a stero or tv on too loud. I concur with the others on having a chat with the downstairs tenant (perhaps with landlord present) to come up with a solution that works for the both of you.
post #13 of 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by bemyonlyone View Post
I don't mean to come off as selfish, but this inevitably will. I have never had problems with any of my neighbors, nor had a lot of contact with them. That's why this situation is making me extremely anxious. And these interactions with her have been extremely unpleasant, with her once threatening to call the police when I didn't come to the door at 2 in the morning. She comes to my door at inappropriate hours of the night and early morning, she is confrontational and mostly just talks at me without listening. I don't feel inclined to do much for her except deal with her diatribes as best I can. I wish I were a sweet girl, but I'm not. I'm just a screwed-up girl trying to get by in the world, and I barely have the energy to help myself, let alone someone who likely has serious issues and who I frankly want nothing to do with.
I feel your pain. My former downstairs neighbor had some mental issues, and would do the exact same thing as yours. He would pound on his ceiling (our floor) at 3am telling us to turn down our music. He'd also show up at our door at 2am and tell us that we were being too loud. DH and I were sleeping soundly when all of these instances occurred. We would simply call our landlord and let him know what was going on. DH and I also kept a log of his odd behavior. Eventually, he either moved out or was evicted. The best thing to do is if someone is pounding on your door at 2am is to call the police. Tell them you have a neighbor with some issues and they will sit down and talk to her. Please inform your landlord of the issues, so that he or she is up to date on everything that is going on.
post #14 of 22
I would just completely ignore her. I have the feeling that no matter what you do to please her she will just find something else to complain about. You have every right to walk around your apartment whenever you please. Is she can't stand simple daily activities then maybe SHE should move. She'll have the same problem with whoever moves in there after you. And if she comes to your door at 2 in the morning I think It should have been YOU calling the cops not her. Complain to the landlord. Tell them this lady is pestering you so much that you have contemplated moving out. Hopefully they'll speak with her and get her to calm down.
post #15 of 22
I would mention to the landlord to talk to her or to soundproof your floor or her celing. Otherwise the landlord should tell her to quit bothering you. It's not your fault.
post #16 of 22
Sorry that she's causing you so much touble. What I would do is talk to her explain you arent attempting to be noisey, maybe lay down area rugs if you dont have carpet, if that doesnt stop it then talk to your landlord tell him that shes doing it at all hours. If that doesnt work I would any time she bangs on the wall or something bang right back at her.
post #17 of 22
see, this the advantage of living in the nyc area. If this broad complained to me about walking around my apt at 2AM-not only would I tell the landlord, call the police and tell her to go f--- herself, I would seriously investigage finding an ouzi to use on her.

If this woman can't deal with normal apt. noises she shouldn't be living in an apt. go get a house!!

You need to not only stand up for yourself but start yelling back. You would be amazed at how much better you feel. "Be polite"- bulls--t. She needs to be told off.

Thumping on the wall at 2AM. I hit her on the head with a hammer!! See how she likes that.
post #18 of 22
Quote:
Originally Posted by ckatz View Post
see, this the advantage of living in the nyc area. If this broad complained to me about walking around my apt at 2AM-not only would I tell the landlord, call the police and tell her to go f--- herself, I would seriously investigage finding an ouzi to use on her.

If this woman can't deal with normal apt. noises she shouldn't be living in an apt. go get a house!!

You need to not only stand up for yourself but start yelling back. You would be amazed at how much better you feel. "Be polite"- bulls--t. She needs to be told off.

Thumping on the wall at 2AM. I hit her on the head with a hammer!! See how she likes that.
You are too funny!

The reasons you just listed are why I can never live in NYC!
post #19 of 22
We're tough! We don't let people get away with crap. You can't take a little noise- get out!!!

I lived in one place where you could hear someone getting up in the middle of the night to take a pee. I did move out of that place.
post #20 of 22
The big question for me is what type of flooring do you have?

I had been a basement suite tenant for about a year and a bit and lived in two places where they had hard wood flooring upstairs. It was really noisy. Just them walking around sounded like thumping. You could even hear them if they were having fun! But these were houses where there wasn't very much for sound proofing.

Also, if you dining room is above her bedroom you may want to give consideration to your chairs. My last landlords had hard wood flooring and their dining/living room was right above my bedroom. Every time they moved their chairs I could hear it plain as day and would wake me up in the morning.

I eventually got sick of all the noise they made and left.

If you are being as quiet as you can be (without totally interrupting your daily life) then definitely talk to your landlords and let them know what is going on before you go hammering heads ha ha. They may be able to take care of it without you having to do anything.

But your neighbours actions are rude and inconsiderate!
post #21 of 22
I can understand both where you are coming and where your neighbor is coming from ( IF she had true reason).

I am a renter but I live on the bottom floor. With BOTH of the people who have lived above me, I have had extreme problems with their noise and drug use!

They stomp around like elephants, they play their music with ALOT of base at all hours of the day and night, smoke pot everyday and always park about 6 inches from our garage door so we can't get out and they fill the garbage can right full on the day I take it to the corner to put it out for pick up .

One, we all signed legally binding contracts that music or excess noise not be allowed after 11pm and it's law too, it is illegal to smoke cigs or anything else inside or on property, and we pay rent for our driveway and garage and if they shovelled their own spot, they'd have somewhere to park!

Both my husband and I have talked to them nicely multiple times, say we don't care even if you party on the weekends and said sure, have your music on but please shut it down by 1am and we said we wouldn't tell our landlords if they just smoked their pot outside.

None of that works and they're constantly rude and act like they own the WHOLE building!

This past thursday night, they had a party with their music going All night and then at 5 am, they were wrestling or something in the living room (Right above my bedroom) and making extremely loud thumps and yells so finally I just stood on the top of my bed where there is a vent and I screamed at the top of my lungs shut the up! It worked LOL
post #22 of 22
Man, I feel for you!!!! I've gone through the same thing where I live.

I've lived in the same apartment for 10 years and 4 years ago the neighbour that shares the common wall of my dining room / living room moved out because the rent was getting too expensive. Her and I never had a problem with each other for the whole 6 years we lived next to one another. The guy who moved in after she left was a PITA!!!!

I live alone. I very rarely have company over and I was working 13 hour shifts either days or night stretches.

I'm a night owl and tend to stay up late watching TV and using the computer. I have the volume of my TV to the minimum I need in order to hear it. Another notch down and I can't hear it at all. The guy on the otherside of my wall was constantly banging on the wall or my door demanding I turn the volume down. I had the caretaker come and listen to the volume and she said it wasn't loud. It couldn't even be heard in the hallway outside my door. So after that whenever that guy banged on my wall I banged right back and wrote a letter to the agency to complain about him and his antics.

During the day when I was trying to sleep for my night shift he would turn his stereo right up to top volume so that my walls and floor shook, even in the next room. I was beside myself while he was living there. Never having had a problem with anyone and suddenly he moves in and I'm all of a sudden a noisey person that warrants him banging on my walls complaining about noises that no one else ever complained about before!!!!!!!!

I kept complaining to the agency about him and he eventually moved.

The only thing I can suggest for you to do is to contact the agency and complain that you feel harassed. Banging on the floor when you are just walking around is harassment. I can see if you are wallking about in hard heeled shoes making clomping sounds on the floor as you go. But if you are walking around with bare feet or slippers, there is no reason for her to be banging on your floor.

If it were me the next time she started thumping on my floor, I'd deliberately stomp on the floor in return. But that's just me.

Report her to the agency and tell them what she is doing.
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