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Vibes for my sister please

post #1 of 27
Thread Starter 
She is pretty sure she is going to leave her husband after Christmas. She is having a really hard time as they have been married 7 years.

Her husband is not involved in the family and never has been, and he isn't ever at home. He works 7 days a week midnights, and when he is home he sleeps. He is always super angry and snaps at any moment all the time.

It has been this way for most of their marriage..but my sister really beleives in her marriage vows and they have tried a million times to fix it..well she has tried but he just yells when she tries to communicate. The other day, he said something to my 6 year old niece about how he is done with her and she should pack her bags...:censor::censor::censor:?? She is 6 years old!!!

He is ALWAYS high, smokes pot every day all day. He is from Trinidad and the culture is way different there. The men think women should cook, clean and put out pretty much. And they just disregard their children because they should "be seen and not heard".

They have 2 beautiful girls (my nieces ) who do not deserve a crap dad like that.

Anyway, sorry for the long post, but I need some be strong vibes for my sister as this will be really hard for her..she has no job, 2 kids and a ton of debt. But thank god she finally realizes that she deserves better.

Thanks guys.
post #2 of 27
Oh thats horrible, your sister and your neices will be in my daily prayers Its always so sad to hear about things like this!
post #3 of 27
Natalie- i am sooo sorry this is happening to your sister right now. Please let her know that she has lots of people praying for her and keeping her and her children in their thoughts right now. Her husband sounds pretty bad....and as much as i belive in trying to make a marriage work- sometimes, breaking it off is necessary- especially when children are involved. They do not deserve that. Your sister deserves to be loved and respected for the beautiful wife and mother and individual she is- it sounds like her husband isn't doing this. Have they tried counseling? / If she does leave him after the holidays- you mentioned she had no job and has a bit of debt- is she by chance involved in a church near her? Many churches are excellent about helping single moms and their children- maybe they could help her get back on her feet It's worth a shot. I will keep your sister and your nieces in my prayers and thoughts.
post #4 of 27
Sending out many vibes that she stays strong and KNOWS she deserves so much better than that
post #5 of 27
Lots of hugs for both you and your sister.
post #6 of 27
Good vibes coming from here as well. Nobody deserves to be treated like that and your nieces will grow up thinking that is how they deserve to be treated. Prayers that your sister will be strong and get out of this relationship. As someone above said, is there a place she and the children can go for help until she gets on her feet?
post #7 of 27
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yosemite View Post
Good vibes coming from here as well. Nobody deserves to be treated like that and your nieces will grow up thinking that is how they deserve to be treated. Prayers that your sister will be strong and get out of this relationship. As someone above said, is there a place she and the children can go for help until she gets on her feet?
She is going to contact a lawyer first to see what her options are..she is a member of a church, but a new member so I'm not sure if that would help or not.

I really hope she finally does it this time...I know how she feels, I was there only months ago..although thankfully I didn't have kids to worry about.
post #8 of 27
I hope your sister is happy with whatever she decides. It is a hard decision to make and I don't envy her for having to make it. I send her my best wishes and hope that everything works out for her.
post #9 of 27
If she was a stranger off the street, the church would (or should! ) help someone in her situation- that shouldn't be a problem. At the very least, they should have a list of resources that can help . Will be praying for her- what a terrible thing to go through .
post #10 of 27
Many prayers for your Sister and your neices.If he is being verbally abusive, then it could turn into physical soon.
Is there a womans shelter near her?If so, they will OFTEN take in women and children and help them get on their feet with a job and a place to live.
post #11 of 27
I will say a prayer for her.
post #12 of 27
This is such a big step your Sister is taking. She's a very strong woman to have reached this difficult decision, even leaving a negative situation takes a lot of bravery. She needs all the support she can get right now, and she and your Nieces are very fortunate to have you. Your family will be in my prayers
post #13 of 27
Oh, my thoughts and prayers are with your sister and her children.
post #14 of 27
Your sister *must* take care of herself in order to take care of the children. Wedding vows were never meant to confine someone to an abusive environment. Best wishes for her and the children. I hope she makes the right decision.
post #15 of 27
....I´m so sorry about that Natalie....
))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((
With my best good wishes for health times......
post #16 of 27
Thread Starter 
Thanks for all the vibes everyone..I really hope they work. I can't imagine how hard it will be for her.

Yesterday when she was telling me all about it..I told her that when we were growing up I always thought she was super strong, and I looked up to her so much..and that I KNOW she can do this..I know she deserves more than this. And she started to cry and said that meant so much to her..I really hope she realizes how strong she really is, and does this for her and her kids happiness.
post #17 of 27
She is very strong to do this, you are right! One happy day in the future, she'll look back on this as the best thing that ever happened to her. She's fortunate to have you there for her, too.

Cheers, from
SwampWitch
post #18 of 27
Lots of thoughts and prayers for your sister and nieces. I'll send lots of vibes to her
post #19 of 27
Sending many prayers for your sister and nieces.
post #20 of 27
Oh Nat, it's so hard to see someone we love go through this, she is going to really need you. My thoughts and prayers will be with your sister and her children.
post #21 of 27
My prayers are with you and your family. I have walked that road before, and the decision to leave is never an easy one - sometimes precisely because we want to think we're stronger than that. But abuse is abuse, and should not be tolerated, especially when children are involved.
You are doing a fantastic job of supporting your sister thru this very difficult time If not for my church (I'm an only child and lived far from any family) I am sure my separation would have been impossible for me to deal with. Seniority is NOT a consideration in their eyes: encourage her to talk with her pastor about her needs. I have every confidence they will be met and exceeded.
post #22 of 27
Your sister and her kids are in my thoughts and prayers.
post #23 of 27
Thinking of your sister and her kids.
post #24 of 27
Things will turn out for the best.
post #25 of 27
awwww Natalie. I'm sorry to hear your sister is going through these trying times. Like Tammy said, verbal abuse can eventually lead to physical. So, I think she's making the right decision to get herself and the girls out now....while it's not too late. Sending many vibes your way.
post #26 of 27
Thread Starter 
Well, I just got off the phone with her and I guess he snapped at my 6 year old niece, and so my sister had to tell him. She said it felt like the right time..she wasn't angry and didn't even cry..she just looked him in the eyes and said its over..and he said "fine !@#$ good riddance..Christmas is cancelled"

She is hoping that once he calms down, he will take back the cancelled Christmas part because that would be just devastating for the kids.

I'm proud of her, I hope she sticks to her guns.
post #27 of 27
I hope so, too, Natalie. There will never be a "good" time, of course, so best to take what feels like the right time, and just make the best of it. It won't be easy, but at least she's embarked on this journey in a calm manner, and with as much control as is possible. She's more than a little fortunate to have you in her life right now. Strength to both of you.
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