Annoying woman who likes my husband

swampwitch

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My husband supervises a woman graduate student who has a crush on him. He is very professional about it, he has no interest in her romantically, in fact, he doesn't really like her very much. He doesn't socialize with her, but he does work with her several days a month, and he's a nice guy and keeps a friendly, but distant, relationship with her.

She put her name on a wait list for an apartment in a complex one block from our house, and moved in about eighteen months ago. She doesn't have a car, so she takes the bus to the University most days, but where my husband works there are no bus routes anywhere near. So, several days a month she gets rides from him and from others who work there. Anyway, tonight was the holiday party at work, and we were going to give her a ride home after the party. After all, she lives so close...

I drove my daughter and I to his work, met him, and went to the party. After the party, as we walked to my car, my husband volunteered, "I'll drive" and this woman turned and said to me, "You can sit in the front seat, if you want."
:censor::censor::censor:???

I said, "Sure..." since how obvious is that! And, I have to be nice for my husband's sake.

About a year ago, she invited him to meet her parents one night at a coffee shop down the street. It was a major etiquette blunder to invite your advisor somewhere at night, without inviting his wife also. Again, :censor::censor::censor:??? Meeting the parents?

Evidently she is a smart scientist, but we think she's sort of an idiot savant... clueless about most everything else. Anyway, it doesn't bother me too much. My husband and I have been together a long time, love and know each other well, have an amazing partnership, and I know have nothing to worry about.

Is there some annoying person like this circling around your SO?

Cheers, from
SwampWitch
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rosey

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I know exactly how you feel!! When we only had one car, hubby had to rely on this lady to drive him to my work and then i would give him my keys and he would drive home and then come get me later or she would just take him home, it kind of depended. She would make weird comments to him and she was sort of oblivious to etiquette things too.

Not much you can really do...he didn't go to meet her parents did he? What is she thinking...that is totally not appropriate.
 

muttigreemom

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UGH! I feel your pain! A year or so ago my BF got a new job in a place thats mostly women. Well, a few of them had crushes on him at one time or another, but there were two that were absolutely in love with him and told him so. One, who is about 12 years younger than him, professed her love for him in great detail on her myspace page... and she knows about me. She positively drools over him all the time and then the one time I meet her in person she doesn't even say a word to me and then the next day has the gall to tell him "well it was a little weird with your GF there.. I'm used to having you all to myself" :censor::censor::censor:?!

I'm not worried about him going anywhere.,.. and I know he has no interest in her... but seriously... there are limits! And then she asks him why I don't like her... doesn't really seem to me like she's ever given me a reason to like her.

The other one who worships the ground he walks on has come to terms that he's not interested in her, so she's calmed down.... so luckily we're only down to the one now. Gosh darn him! He needs to be less adorable!
 

4crazycats

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There has been girls that try and go after John. Not so much since the accident. But before then I was soo insecure about all the girls that were after him. He kept telling me though Amber you know Im not like him (meaning Stan). Anyways the girls have semi dwindled. He still gets a couple calls a week from different girls. Hes to nice to tell them to leave him alone. Hes mine and no one is going to take him from me. They know about me but dont seem to care. I heard him tell I couple of them that I was pregnant and they still call! He told me he thought that would get rid of them.
 

starryeyedtiger

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If that were me, i'd be keeping that homewrecker away from my hubby. Reguardless of a hubby being good or not, i still wouldn't want some heifer trying to get all over him at "convient times"
I think i'd have to break her. You're far more patient than me
 

lunasmom

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When B and I started dating, apparently he was the "hot" thing of the local community group we were part of. I had vacation plans to colorado and left for a week. He was telling me that while I was gone he went to one of the membership events and said that because I wasn't with him, everyone was asking if we had broken up and what was he doing this weekend.

He also was friends with a girl that had an obvious crush on him. She would always get him cornered to "talk to him privitely". I didn't like it or her. She was nice to me, but I just didn't trust her around B.

B has a lot of female friends (from being in social work), but that chick was the only one of his friends I never trusted.
 

yosemite

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Those types of women can make you crazy if you let them.

My husband was a full-time musician when we met and you haven't seen anything until you've seen with "groupies". It wouldn't matter if your guy looked like godzilla if he was in a band and strapped on a guitar or sat behind some drums.

Just this past Saturday night I was sitting beside an older woman - probably late 40's, early 50's, and when my hubby got up to go on-stage, she said, "Doesn't it just make you so hot when he goes up there?". I just looked at her and basically said that after 30 years together it doesn't do much for me.
 

wickedkitten

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Originally Posted by StarryEyedTiGeR

If that were me, i'd be keeping that homewrecker away from my hubby.
I don't get things like this. If anyone is going to be wrecking your home, it's going to be the person that you are sharing it with, not another person.
 

crittermom

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Oh yes!!! It isn't just another woman though,it's my Brother in Laws girlfriend!!!
She will purposly sit next to him anytime we have a gathering at my MIL house.She will call and ask how he is......before asking how the kids are mind you.She will buy little gifts for him,like Mark Martin stuff-race car driver.
I tell Shawn about it all the time.It's so bad that even my kids see it, but Shawn says there is no way she likes him.
When she buys stuff like that, he will have me open it--saying he's got to help do something.He has me sit in between them ALL the time now.When he has to call his Brother, I am the one to call and ask for Jim.
I have major self estem issues and she just gets me so riled that I want to
her in the head.But, then I just sit and think * Shawn is going home with ME!!! He is MY husband and we are a couple.*
 

satai

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Originally Posted by Yosemite

Those types of women can make you crazy if you let them.
Originally Posted by Wickedkitten

If anyone is going to be wrecking your home, it's going to be the person that you are sharing it with, not another person.
I agree. These kind of people are annoying, but really, that's the same with any inappropriate or rude person.

Just try to remember that the other person's behaviour is not a commentary on your marriage, and treat them like you would any other rude/inappropriate person in the same situation: for example, to 'you can sit in the front' I'd just have given an icy smile and said brightly, 'It's my car, and I intend to', before opening the door to let her into the back.

As far as inappropriate behaviour from her as an advisee goes, it is really up to the advisor to say, 'I appreciate the offer, but it would be entirely inappropriate of me as your advisor to take it."
 

jenny82

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Ugh, those types of women are annoying!!!
But if you are in a happy relationship, there's no need to worry.
 

bemyonlyone

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I would honestly be careful if I were you and keep a close eye on this thing. She sounds like she could turn stalker. I'm sensing shades of Fatal Attraction here. But hopefully she will get over it and get out of your lives.
 
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