Help me come up with a good solution please

gailc

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My husband has 3 sisters who live fairly close to each other-perhaps about 15 minutes or so apart. They live from 1 hour to about 1 10 minutes away from us.
He also has 4 brothers, 3 of which also live about 10-15 minutes away from each other. The are about 25-30 minutes away from us. The last brother is about 2 hours away.
Friday for instance there was a birthday party for one of his sister's spouse. We picked up his brother and wife and then drove about another hour. (about 90 minutes on the road) I figured I was going to be the DD which is fine. We got to the party's location about 6 pm. At about 9:45 or so I wanted to leave-it was getting smoky, I was a little tired, my SIL wanted to leave to but her husband and my husband where having a good time. After much nagging on my part we finally left at about 10:35. After dropping my in-laws off we got home at a few minutes after midnite.
I was tired driving home as I am sleeping by 10 pm most nights.
This is not a one time occurence. Whenever the brothers and sisters get together it seems that we are always one of the last to leave.
"Nagging" do not work!!!
This is going to happen again on 12/22 as one BIL is having another birthday party at his house and then on 12/24 when we go to SIL's for Christmas Eve.
I am always so tired the next day-esp on Christmas when its supposed to ge a good time with my side of the family.
I've brought this up many times that I want to leave earlier-perhaps not the first person to leave but perhaps the 2nd or 3rd. How can I convince my husband to do so? Its not like we don't see these relatives we see them quite frequently.
Any suggestions would be appreciated.
I thought of just taking the car home and stranding him but that would probably backfire.
 

trouts mom

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Can you let him know before you even leave?? Maybe hint that you are already tired BEFORE you leave so he knows you really don't want to stay out late?
 

pami

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I used to have that same problem with an X. I just got to the point where I would pick and choose which functions I wanted to go to and would be able to stay late. The nagging never worked. We left whenever he felt like it. Once I did leave him there and went home, but then he was calling every 5 minutes for me to come back and get him. I didnt
That wasnt a very fun night when he finally got home.
 

gailuvscats

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Why not take two cars? Then you and SIL can go home and leave the men there. That is not so unusual, and then everyone is happy.
 

sarahp

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Originally Posted by gailuvscats

Why not take two cars? Then you and SIL can go home and leave the men there. That is not so unusual, and then everyone is happy.
And then they can share a cab to the brother you picked up, and your DH can stay there the night, and you can collect him the next day. A 1/2 hour taxi ride shared between the 2 of them shouldn't be too much.

If he gets sick of that then he may start agreeing to come home earlier
 

natalie_ca

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There is no written law that says you have to arrive and leave together. If he wants to stay and you don't, arrange for transportation home at a time that you want and let him stay and enjoy his family if he wants to.

He would be very selfish to not understand why you want to leave early so you can have some energy to enjoy your family too.

Also, why cram everything in such a short period of time? Spread out the visits to include just before Christmas and the week between Christmas and New Years.
 

starryeyedtiger

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Originally Posted by gailuvscats

Why not take two cars? Then you and SIL can go home and leave the men there. That is not so unusual, and then everyone is happy.
That's probably what I would do
. / Mabye you could also talk to him before leaving for the next party and let him know that you'd like to cut out a little early and that you're usually too tired to drive home around 10.../ I would suggest just having a little "code" between the two of you....like a certain phrase or word, that lets the other one know when you're ready to leave without having to discuss it or nag each other in front of company
 
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