My dilemma regarding Elliot

eilcon · Dec 10, 2006

Hey guys, I could use your input regarding a decision I need to make about my foster kitty, Elliot. It's not a big deal, other than the fact that it means letting him go sooner than I anticipated.

The original plan was for his new meowmy to pick him up on Dec. 22, when she would have the time off to get him settled in and surprise his daddy with a big, sweet orange kitty! Well, she just called wondering about picking Elliot up sooner (she mentioned this afternoon) and having him stay at her sister's house, which is much closer to where she lives, and where she could visit him everyday. She said it was completely my decision and wants to do what's best for Elliot.

We agreed to wait until Tues., when she was planning to come visit him anyway, so I can finish giving him his antibiotics, and decide then. I'm really torn about this, mostly because I'm not ready to let him go, but the reality is that he's not my cat. He's been adopted! His new meowmy is confident her sister will take good care of him until he comes home and she'll be checking on him everyday. It would a chance for Elliot to get know her before he goes to his forever home. Honestly, if it was any other cat, I'd insist on him staying here, rather than have him deal with adjusting to two new places, but Elliot is so laidback, I doubt it will be a problem. Having him here is no trouble at all and I'm in no hurry to see him go because he's such a sweetie. But, the longer he stays, the harder it's going to be to let him go.

So what do you guys think? I want to do what's best for Elliot and his new meowmy and respect what she wants. I know she'll respect whatever decision I make. Thanks!

katiemae1277 · Dec 10, 2006

Gosh, that's a tough one

I guess the way I look at is that *technically* since Elliot's been adopted, it really is his new Meowmy's decision what to do with him and like you said this will give her a chance to get to know him better... I bet he doesn't stay there long though, he'll be going home with her once she gets to know him I bet

jugen · Dec 10, 2006

I really don't have much advice for you except do what your heart tells you.
You know this cat better then anyone and you know what he can and can't deal with.
I'm having the same sort of dilemma that you are. I'm taking in a cat from a friend's daughter when she leaves for Arizona, in Jan but I'm beginning to think that the sooner I go and get her, the more time she will be able to get to know the four I already have.

jae · Dec 10, 2006

Originally Posted by eilcon

Hey guys, I could use your input regarding a decision I need to make about my foster kitty, Elliot. It's not a big deal, other than the fact that it means letting him go sooner than I anticipated.

The original plan was for his new meowmy to pick him up on Dec. 22, when she would have the time off to get him settled in and surprise his daddy with a big, sweet orange kitty! Well, she just called wondering about picking Elliot up sooner (she mentioned this afternoon) and having him stay at her sister's house, which is much closer to where she lives, and where she could visit him everyday. She said it was completely my decision and wants to do what's best for Elliot.

We agreed to wait until Tues., when she was planning to come visit him anyway, so I can finish giving him his antibiotics, and decide then. I'm really torn about this, mostly because I'm not ready to let him go, but the reality is that he's not my cat. He's been adopted! His new meowmy is confident her sister will take good care of him until and she'll be checking on him everyday. It would a chance for Elliot to get know her before he goes to his forever home. Honestly, if it was any other cat, I'd insist on him staying here, rather than have him deal with adjusting to two new places, but Elliot is so laidback, I doubt it will be a problem. Having him here is no trouble at all and I'm in no hurry to see him go because he's such a sweetie. But, the longer he stays, the harder it's going to be to let him go.

So what do you guys think? I want to do what's best for Elliot and his new meowmy and respect what she wants. I know she'll respect whatever decision I make. Thanks!

I know it is hard, but hopefully his new meowwy will be joining us here and you will still get to see his progress. I would probably fight to keep him myself but to let him go to his forever home sounds like the best idea.
Isabell, Disaster and Jae

satai · Dec 10, 2006

I would let him go after the meds are finished if it means it will give him more time to get to know her and people who would be visiting her. I would also let her know in confidence that if she felt her sister wasn't able to provide the level of care, that you would be happy to take him back until the 22nd (if you can do so).

And I'd love on him lots between now and Tuesday.

neetanddave · Dec 10, 2006

It's gonna be hard whenever it happens, but if you really feel strongly that he will be better with you, then insist he stay as per the original plan.

If she doesn't like it, and decides not to keep him, guess where he'll be??? WITH YOU!!!

jcat · Dec 10, 2006

If he's laid back and adventurous, there's probably no harm in her plan. It wouldn't be a good idea to expose a timid kitty to two new homes in such a short period of time, but in this case, it might be a chance to get him familiar with his future pet sitter.

trouts mom · Dec 10, 2006

I think if he isn't a high stress cat and the 2 different moves won't bug him...then I would say you should let him go. After all he IS adopted, but I know it will be hard for you

Good luck

eilcon · Dec 10, 2006

Thanks for your input!

If I follow my heart, Elliot won't be going anywhere.

This morning I picked him up to cuddle him and happened to look in the full length mirror on my bedroom door and decided we look really cute together because our hair is almost the same color!

Seriously, I can see why Elliot's meowmy would want him someplace where it's easy to visit him until she can bring him home. She's welcome here anytime, but we live about 45 minutes apart compared her sister who's just a couple of blocks away. When I adopted Peter, it was actually a couple of weeks before I brought him home, and I was over visiting him at every opportunity.

I'll sleep on it and talk to her about it again tomorrow.

white cat lover · Dec 10, 2006

The one thing I was going to suggest is:

Will Elliot meowmy's sister know what to look for should he "laspe" & get sick again? I can't remember for sure why Elliot was on antibiotics, but if it is something that you might need to keep an eye on an extra few days, then I think he should stay with you.

From what you say about Elliot, I think he would be fine going on Tues to the sisters house.

natalie_ca · Dec 10, 2006

Originally Posted by jcat

It wouldn't be a good idea to expose a timid kitty to two new homes in such a short period of time,

I agree with that. He's a foster kitty for a reason: someone had him and he was abandoned once or more already. Now he has a safe place and a new forever home to go to. I don't think it's a good idea for him to be put somewhere else temporarily in between.

Christmas is a rat race and very busy and stressful for people and pets. I know it's recommended that pets aren't adopted at Christmas time because of that.

Why can't she just give her SO the cat earlier instead of at Christmas? The kitty would benefit from that because he would become used to the environment before all the hussel and bussel happen.

eilcon · Dec 10, 2006

Originally Posted by Natalie_ca

I agree with that. He's a foster kitty for a reason: someone had him and he was abandoned once or more already. Now he has a safe place and a new forever home to go to. I don't think it's a good idea for him to be put somewhere else temporarily in between.

Christmas is a rat race and very busy and stressful for people and pets. I know it's recommended that pets aren't adopted at Christmas time because of that.

Why can't she just give her SO the cat earlier instead of at Christmas? The kitty would benefit from that because he would become used to the environment before all the hussel and bussel happen.

Good point. He's obviously feeling secure and happy here and, as easygoing as he seems to be, I do reservations about subjecting him to any more change than necessary before he goes to his forever home.

I normally wouldn't adopt a cat out at Xmas, especially as a surprise for someone, but I've been in contact with this woman for more than six months and have gotten to know her fairly well. She and her husband have two older female cats and lost an orange male to cancer more than a year ago. They've been planning to add to their family for a while, so this isn't a rash decision and the husband has been hinting that it's time. I'm confident they'll provided an loving home for Elliot.

She wants to wait until the 22nd because she'll be off work after that and have the time to devote to making the introductions to her older cats and help Elliot get settled in. Makes sense to me.

eilcon · Dec 12, 2006

Well, looks like Elliot's going to be staying with me until the 22nd afterall. Just got off the phone with his meowmy, who wasn't able to visit tonight because she had to go to a funeral. She agrees it would be best for Elliot, as easygoing as he is, not to be moved twice, so I get to have this sweet guy around for a little longer.

As we got ready to hang up, Elliot's meowmy said to be sure to give him a hug and kiss for her, which I was more than happy to do!

rapunzel47 · Dec 12, 2006

That sounds like the right outcome!

huggles · Dec 12, 2006

I agree - sounds like the perfect outcome

natalie_ca · Dec 12, 2006

I agree that it's the best for Elliot.

Can you post some pictures of this cute boy?

sillyjilly · Dec 12, 2006

I just had a chance to read everyones thoughts and I am glad that he will be staying with you until the 22nd! You will take good care of him and he should transition nicely into his new forever home. I know you will miss him dearly but I know you know it's going to be ok! Here's an extra hug for you just because!

catsknowme · Dec 12, 2006

Elliott's new mommy sounds like an absolute angel - thinking of what's best for the cat!

Congratulations on finding Elliott a wonderful forever home

eilcon · Dec 13, 2006

Originally Posted by Natalie_ca

I agree that it's the best for Elliot.

Can you post some pictures of this cute boy?

Sure thing!

I'll work on that when I get home from work. He's a cutie!

And, thanks to everybody for your reassurance that this was the best decision for Elliot.

kittylover4ever · Dec 13, 2006

More pics??? YEA!!!

My dilemma regarding Elliot

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