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Feeling let down(rant)

post #1 of 18
Thread Starter 
I have a friend I will call Sara. Her and I have been really good friends for WELL over 10 yrs, right?? Well.......last week her and her "man" borrowed my digital camera,ok? So when I asked for it back a few days ago, my answer(from him) was "why do you need it"?? Like it wasnt mine or something! I also purchased a card reader last week so they could d/l their pics, and got the same reaction when I asked for it back!! I swear-the NERVE of some people So the other night I had hubby ask for it back, and well guess what?? They got all ticked off and I hadnt heard from her ALL day, until today when her "man" called and asked me if I could let him use my debit card so he can pay his cell phone bill! Talk about feeling used......geesh. I told him something to the affect of being used and he laughed and admitted that he was MAD because we took OUR camera back. Ughh....so now I guess I am the bad guy because I am not allowing him to pay his cell bill with MY debit card, and also one more thing(this is really funny) I had Sara pick me up a bag of dog food-knowing I would pay her back of course. I ended up still owing her like $2.00 and he had the nerve to b**** to me about that today! He said that my dogs are eating off of food HE bought!! I was like oh dear lord, its two dollars.(keep in mind, he dont work, so its not even his $$$)


So now I am just irked off . Should I be??
post #2 of 18
Um, YES!

Friends like that really aren't friends, they are more like leeches, and need to be removed from your life.

Sorry if that sounds harsh, but I've known people like that, and given up what I had thought were friendships because they became one way, and I was being taken advantage of.

True friends don't treat their friends that way.

Of course, I'm only getting one side of things here, but if I were you, I'd tell them to take a hike.
post #3 of 18
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by GingersMom View Post
Um, YES!

Friends like that really aren't friends, they are more like leeches, and need to be removed from your life.

Sorry if that sounds harsh, but I've known people like that, and given up what I had thought were friendships because they became one way, and I was being taken advantage of.

True friends don't treat their friends that way.

Of course, I'm only getting one side of things here, but if I were you, I'd tell them to take a hike.
I know-I really feel like they arent true friends but yet, her and I have been friends for so long, I hate to give up our friendship.....its mostly him that acts this way, but I feel that she could stand up and say something, but she dont. I dunno..........its just all messed up.
post #4 of 18
Yep, I would be miffed too
post #5 of 18
yeah, friends don't ask friends to pay their bills
post #6 of 18
Quote:
Originally Posted by GingersMom View Post
Um, YES!

Friends like that really aren't friends, they are more like leeches, and need to be removed from your life.

Sorry if that sounds harsh, but I've known people like that, and given up what I had thought were friendships because they became one way, and I was being taken advantage of.

True friends don't treat their friends that way.

Of course, I'm only getting one side of things here, but if I were you, I'd tell them to take a hike.

Hmm, interesting, second time I'm agreeing completely with you This may turn into a trend

You know, that burns me up just reading that. I would LOVE to slap the teeth right out of that guys mouth! How DARE he even ask for your debit card!!!!!!!!


GET A JOB!!!!

Sounds like your "friend" is letting her "man" take advantage of her too!
post #7 of 18
I agree with Ginger's mom....but if this is a good friend from forever ago, pull her aside ALONE. And lay down the law:

a) I shouldn't have to ask for my own things back
b) if you forgot to give them back & I ask for it back don't give me an attitude or ignore me
c) your "man" is lucky his head is still attached, if you want to be dumb and pay his bills that's your business, but keep him away from me
d) if you have a problem with the $2 I owe you grow a set & speak to me about it, I don't need to hear it from this loser

sorry to be so frank, but that's just the kinda girl I am!

good luck!!!
post #8 of 18
Go over to their house with $2 and tell them you would like your stuff back. Then remove them from your life. Seriously, life is too short to deal with this type of thing. If they decide they want to be friends with you, they will be in contact and need to apologize for using you. If they don't, then it's their loss!
post #9 of 18
...Wow

One thing I will say is this is not 100% your friends fault. Some women get pretty dumb when they have a 'man' by their side. I'd say they almost seem posessed. I would speak to your friend though and just 'lay down the law' so to speak.

I'd also give her 'man' a good talking to. Tell him that you are so sorry that they had to pay for your dogs food. And to fully apologize, you will remove two dollars worth of kibble from the bag and cook him up a nice mouthwatering stew, just to make up for your mooching behavior.
post #10 of 18
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by JulieKit View Post
...Wow

One thing I will say is this is not 100% your friends fault. Some women get pretty dumb when they have a 'man' by their side. I'd say they almost seem posessed. I would speak to your friend though and just 'lay down the law' so to speak.

I'd also give her 'man' a good talking to. Tell him that you are so sorry that they had to pay for your dogs food. And to fully apologize, you will remove two dollars worth of kibble from the bag and cook him up a nice mouthwatering stew, just to make up for your mooching behavior.
LOL!! Thats such a good idea!!
post #11 of 18
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by LuckyGirl View Post
I agree with Ginger's mom....but if this is a good friend from forever ago, pull her aside ALONE. And lay down the law:

a) I shouldn't have to ask for my own things back
b) if you forgot to give them back & I ask for it back don't give me an attitude or ignore me
c) your "man" is lucky his head is still attached, if you want to be dumb and pay his bills that's your business, but keep him away from me
d) if you have a problem with the $2 I owe you grow a set & speak to me about it, I don't need to hear it from this loser

sorry to be so frank, but that's just the kinda girl I am!

good luck!!!

LOL-your not a "frank" !! All you have said is so true!!

He is a mooch-he lives off her, and her daddy pays for alot as well. Needless to say, hes got it "good"
I got my camera and card reader back....actually DH did. He keeps saying he dont give a rats a** if we ever speak to them again.
post #12 of 18
Quote:
Originally Posted by LuckyGirl View Post
I agree with Ginger's mom....but if this is a good friend from forever ago, pull her aside ALONE. And lay down the law:

a) I shouldn't have to ask for my own things back
b) if you forgot to give them back & I ask for it back don't give me an attitude or ignore me
c) your "man" is lucky his head is still attached, if you want to be dumb and pay his bills that's your business, but keep him away from me
d) if you have a problem with the $2 I owe you grow a set & speak to me about it, I don't need to hear it from this loser

sorry to be so frank, but that's just the kinda girl I am!

good luck!!!
I completely agree with Heather.

Frankly, your friend needs to get this mooch out of HER life. If he's doing this to you, what kind of ride is he taking her for? Frankly, I could maybe understand if their heat were getting shut off or something, but a CELL PHONE? Too darn bad, dude. If he doesn't have a job, why exactly does he NEED a cell phone anyway? No income and your life gets cut back to bare minimum in my world.
post #13 of 18
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by valanhb View Post
I completely agree with Heather.

Frankly, your friend needs to get this mooch out of HER life. If he's doing this to you, what kind of ride is he taking her for? Frankly, I could maybe understand if their heat were getting shut off or something, but a CELL PHONE? Too darn bad, dude. If he doesn't have a job, why exactly does he NEED a cell phone anyway? No income and your life gets cut back to bare minimum in my world.


Sorry guys, maybe you misunderstood me....I didnt mean he wouldnt pay me for his bill, he just always pays it late and so he uses our debit card so his phone wont get shut off(today I dont really care if it does) I just think hes got some nerve not talking to us for a few days and then calling me this AM to see if he can use the card to pay his bill.

BTW-these two have been together for like 13 yrs(off and on) and he used to be EXTREMELY abusive to her, and hes never ever been able to keep a job. Shes not going to get rid of him-as much as she whines about him, she just wont do it
post #14 of 18
At first I thought you were talking about me (my name is Sara), then I remembered that I don't live in KS, I did borrow a friend's digital camera but gave it back weeks ago (I promise to post the kitty pics soon) and J actually makes waaay more money than me so I mooch off of him. (Well, okay, I don't. But still.)

Seriously, though ... I completely understand what you mean about wanting to hold onto old friendships. That's a perfectly normal reaction. But is this relationship healthy for you? Does it stress you out to have your friend borrow stuff from you and then not return it? Does it anger you to have her boyfriend expect that you will pay his bills for him? If it does (as I'm sure it must), you have to ask yourself if the friendship is worth the aggravation it causes you. Some friendships are and are worth fighting for. Some, sadly, are not.
post #15 of 18
I agree with Gingersmom, but if you don't want them out of your life, you should stop lending to them, IMHO. At some point, they are going to quit giving/paying you back!

Cheers, from
SwampWitch
post #16 of 18
Yes you have a right to feel Irked!

I don't know what it is with people these days they have this sence of entitlement to everything anyone else had. I don't understand it and getting bent out of shape cuz you asked for somthing of yours back is a crock. I think you need to distance yourself from this girl and her guy.
post #17 of 18
Wow...I can't believe you would let anyone other than you and your DH use your Debit Cards. I don't care if the guy is always late. That's his problem, not yours. Now matter how long you've been friends with these people, he's just dirt. If she can't help him out with paying the phone bill on time or her dad, then he's SOL. He shouldn't have to ask for your debit card.

Seriously, the only way you wake a girl up to what a loser she's dating is to stop being in friends with her. She'll realise that she doesn't have anyone to fall back on and then hopefully wake up and gid rid of him.

Guys like that just make me so
post #18 of 18
Tell your friend that whilst she continues to be with a man that behaves this way then you do not feel that you can stay friends. Tell her that should her relationship change that you would love to hear from her but that you cannot stand to continue to be used in this manner...

In my opinion the long you allow this guy to use you then the more he is going to keep taking...

My thoughts go out to this woman as you say he abused her in the past

Sorry if this post seem a little harsh but, like many on this site I have been through similar situations and my feeling has always been that I should have acted sooner in finishing the friendship
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