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Im so tired of people

post #1 of 14
Thread Starter 
I swear every freind i have is a big flake. Im so sick of it!
I was supposed to go out and have a great night with my bestfriend, and i was also supposed to hangout later with this other friend. Both big flakes. My bestfriend flaked on me one hour before we were suppose to hangout so she could hangout with her boyfriend. I understand she wants to see him, but then dont make plans with me and definitly dont cancel an hour before. I was so looking forward to tonight, i spent what seemed like forever getting ready,then she just flakes. Then my other friend was working all day, said he would call me when he is done and its almost 11 and still no call, nothing. Im so bummed. I feel so lonely and so unloved. Im sorry im having a pity party, but it seems like this always happens. Im so sick of it!

Anyone else have flaky friends?
post #2 of 14
lol that is people. When people say they are coming over. I kinda beleave it when i see them knocking on the door
post #3 of 14
Whats a flake, someone who lets you down?
post #4 of 14
Originally Posted by rosiemac View Post
Whats a flake, someone who lets you down?
a person that says they are going to do something and does not.
and or a person that just acts strange,
post #5 of 14
In other words a waste of space!
post #6 of 14
Maybe you should tell them that they hurt your feelings. It does kind of suck when people make plans with you and then back out. Sometimes I feel like they found something better to do. But I may be too sensitive about that.
post #7 of 14
i used to have those kinda friends.

now i dont have those kind of friends anymore, LOL
post #8 of 14
Awww that is such a bummer, especially when you get all dolled up and ready to go and they back out.

To be honest I don't have any really close friends and the ones I consider close I don't do many things with them.

I am one of those people that goes out of their way for people. I offer to help, loan money, give rides ect. and then I feel let down when I need help and they don't even offer to help me or if I do ask they have some reason that they can't.

I blame myself because I assume I will get what I give and that is my problem for thinking that. For that reason I keep myself distant from people. Kind of sinacal but that is how I deal.

The only advice I can give is to let the people know that you are upset about it and to try and find some new friends to hang out with. I know that sounds easier said then done but you have to remember there are people out there just like you and in your situation that is looking for a new relaible friend
post #9 of 14
I have a friend like that (only one and we have been friends for years) I just don't have any expectations of her anymore. I still like her and she lives in another country so we don't see each other much, I just don't put her in important positions anymore or depend/rely on her.
post #10 of 14
I can totally relate. I have had friends that have done that to me too. It does suck, and you have the right to feel a bit bummed. But don't hold onto that feeling.... Try to see your friends for what they are worth, as rough as that sounds.... But I have a friend that is only ever there when we are gonna go out to a club, invite her to a get together at your house, and she always says she's gonna stop by, but never does. Know your friends, and know the limit of their friendships.... they say in life you really only have 5 friends....the rest are all aquaintances. But we're here for you Sydney if you need us to lean on! And I would addressis with her, especially if she is not usually that type of maybe the next time you 2 are gonna do something, just say "are you gonna bail on me like last time? My feelings were pretty hurt, and I had spent all day getting excited and ready to go out, I missed you and was looking forward to hanging out together...." If she is a true friend, this will get your point across, and there will be no ill feelings.... Good luck!
post #11 of 14
There are situations people can be in temporarialy (family trouble), suddenly (illness or berevement), or permanently (like being a Migraneur), where I am extremely (and I think most people are) tolerant of other people's flakiness.

I'm patient when plans have to change, if it's not an every time thing.

I do have friends who might be considered "flakey" but in reality, they're health isn't perfect, so I don't hold it against them. I don't think I could be friends with a total flake. It might not be intended as rudeness, but it is.

I have a cousin who has a terrible memory for arrangements, and she knows this. So she makes sure to write it down, and if she can't she warms you to email her with the details so that she will have them, and then often asks for you to txt or email her a reminder a couple of days before. I don't consider this flakey either - not everyone has the same capcity for memory, and she takes steps to offset it. I've never once been stood up by her.
post #12 of 14
Do they do this all the time? If not I'd be disappointed but not really mad. Things happen.
post #13 of 14
I've had quite a flake Friends in my day. I do not depend on others anymore to be my entertainment, or companion. I make plans with them, but if they don't show at a certain time, I go without them. Your girlfriend was rude to drop you for her boyfriend. she should have told him she was busy. what, he calls her an hour before and she drops everything? what does that say he thinks of her? when she canceled, you should have taken your dolled up self out on the town. It might feel uncomfortable doing it, but once you are in a place, no one knows who you are with, or who you are there to meet. You meet more interesting people being alone, believe me. I used to not go to a movie unless I had someone to go with. Boy was that a drag. I admired a Friend of mine who used to go to the movies alone all the time, so I did it once, and now I prefer a movie alone. I don't go on date night, I hit the matinées and twilights, and most the people there are alone.
Bottom line, you gotta get out there, and not rely on others. If they are av ailable good, and if not, well....good.
post #14 of 14
That stinks.

There are many flaky people out there, but how well you can tolerate them should determine the level of friendship.

If its something that doesn't happen often, then don't worry about it. If the person cancels on you constantly, then just push them out of your forfront of friends....even if you consider them a close or best friend.

Constant flakiness can turn into friendship abuse. I had one friend that would drop our friendship for some guy she was dating. Then when the relationship was over, she would call me. Finally one day I told her how I felt, that it upset when she did this. Well that's when she stopped calling perminantly.
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