... and I'm every bit as popular.
I am not a social person at work. I have friends, but they're not work-friends, they're friends I made attending social events outside of work. I'm not antisocial or unfriendly; I talk to people, I joke around, I freely share information, food and advice. I'm just not at work trying to make friends -- I'm at work to work and I hold myself back a little (okay, a lot) from my coworkers. For the most part this doesn't bother me. I've resigned myself to the fact that I won't win any popularity contests at work, and that for the most part people don't seek out my company. But there is this one woman who is absolutely driving me nuts and her attitude is spreading like some kind of nasty bacterial infection.
K is a kind of supervisor, but not my supervisor. I've occasionally assisted her and her team, but I don't answer to her, and she doesn't consider me one of "her people." She's made that patently clear. She's one of those women who has mastered the art of exclusion, the way high school girls snub the girls they don't like and don't want others to like. She showers her favourites with praise, brings them in cookies and other treats, and anyone else who isn't on her team (or has seniority to her) gets ignored even after they've gone out of their way to help her out. Like me, for example. I busted my
getting a project done for her, and if I were one of "her people" I would've received a plate of cookies or a piece of homemade pie or a coffee or even just a pat on the back, but because I'm not, I don't even get a "thank you." She only (grudgingly) acknowledges my existence when she wants something, and it's always something that sucks up a lot of my time and effort. Even when I'm working for her she ignores me; she'll refer to me in my presence as if I'm not right there, like "Oh, I wonder if we can get Sara to do this" while I'm thinking "Gee, why don't you ask me? I'm right
here!" And it's not that she doesn't know who am I. She does. She's met me, and when she's forced to acknowledge me directly, she clearly knows my name. It's like she can't be bothered to talk to me or deal with me, and I can't for the life of me think what I've done to make her treat me this way.
To top it all off, she has some of her team treating me the same way. They'll acknowledge my presence when forced, but for the most part they ignore me, whispering to each other in the exact same way the so-called popular girls did waaay back in high school. When they do talk to me, they'll use an incredibly patronizing tone of voice, like I'm some kind of moron who can't be expected to understand them; meanwhile, I've listened in on some of their conversations, and these girls ain't rocket scientists -- in actual intellectual discourse, I'd run circles around them. But I don't act like I think I'm better than them, and I certainly don't behave as though I think they're better than me, so :censor::censor::censor: is their problem? I treat them as nicely as I treat everybody else, which is pretty darned nice, but I have to admit my attitude is getting a lot worse when it comes to dealing with them.
I hated high school because of all of this crap, and I wish to god I didn't have to work with these women, but I do and I don't know how to deal with them. Seriously, I just want to tell K what I think of her, but she has seniority over me and as much as I dislike it at times, I need my job. Any thoughts? At the very least, thanks for "listening" to my rant!
I am not a social person at work. I have friends, but they're not work-friends, they're friends I made attending social events outside of work. I'm not antisocial or unfriendly; I talk to people, I joke around, I freely share information, food and advice. I'm just not at work trying to make friends -- I'm at work to work and I hold myself back a little (okay, a lot) from my coworkers. For the most part this doesn't bother me. I've resigned myself to the fact that I won't win any popularity contests at work, and that for the most part people don't seek out my company. But there is this one woman who is absolutely driving me nuts and her attitude is spreading like some kind of nasty bacterial infection.
K is a kind of supervisor, but not my supervisor. I've occasionally assisted her and her team, but I don't answer to her, and she doesn't consider me one of "her people." She's made that patently clear. She's one of those women who has mastered the art of exclusion, the way high school girls snub the girls they don't like and don't want others to like. She showers her favourites with praise, brings them in cookies and other treats, and anyone else who isn't on her team (or has seniority to her) gets ignored even after they've gone out of their way to help her out. Like me, for example. I busted my
To top it all off, she has some of her team treating me the same way. They'll acknowledge my presence when forced, but for the most part they ignore me, whispering to each other in the exact same way the so-called popular girls did waaay back in high school. When they do talk to me, they'll use an incredibly patronizing tone of voice, like I'm some kind of moron who can't be expected to understand them; meanwhile, I've listened in on some of their conversations, and these girls ain't rocket scientists -- in actual intellectual discourse, I'd run circles around them. But I don't act like I think I'm better than them, and I certainly don't behave as though I think they're better than me, so :censor::censor::censor: is their problem? I treat them as nicely as I treat everybody else, which is pretty darned nice, but I have to admit my attitude is getting a lot worse when it comes to dealing with them.
I hated high school because of all of this crap, and I wish to god I didn't have to work with these women, but I do and I don't know how to deal with them. Seriously, I just want to tell K what I think of her, but she has seniority over me and as much as I dislike it at times, I need my job. Any thoughts? At the very least, thanks for "listening" to my rant!
