Brother Grieving

On Nov. 15th I had to put my little boy Sebastian to rest. He had been sick for over a month. His brother, Marty, at first cared for his brother and then he began sitting on him. Yes, literally sitting on him. Sebastian was the top cat in the house. Marty has never been an only cat before.

Marty grieved and we held him and loved him as much as we could. But, he has not stopped grieving. He still YELLS and runs around the house. When I leave the house I can sometimes hear him YELL or he sits in the bay window making me feel SOOOOOO GUILTY about leaving. I am a stay at home mom, so I am home for most of the day. I have left the TV on for him, the radio, even home movies running on the DVD player, so he can hear our voices when we leave.

Marty looks so sad. I feel so bad for him. He has stopped looking for his brother but he still goes into rooms and YELLS. If I sit down, he in jumps on my lap. When I goto bed at night he sleeps with me. I try to keep his close but, sometimes I need to be alone, like in the shower. He YELLS at me in there, too. I can not take the yelling anymore.

He does have some kidney issues, but there is nothing physically wrong with him.

My vet suggested a getting another cat. I am not ready for another cat. We spent so much money on my little Sebastian that it would not be fair to the cat, to come into a home that could not afford it. Also, I had my boy for 15 years, I am still grieving myself and do want another cat.

What can I do to help Marty? I know that he is hurting but the yelling and never having a moment without a cat on me is getting to me. Please do not get me wrong. I love my Marty but I feel so bad for him.

Please don't feel bad. My KittenKiya mourned the loss of Old Pete for months. I did get other cats, it didn't make any difference.

He has finally come out of it, but it took a long time and I needed to take him into my bedroom away from all the other cats, and hug him and tell him that I loved him. He just had to get his lovings by himself.

You are doing the very best you can. Just hug and love and don't hesitate to talk to him.

My Wellington is still grieving for his brother after 9 weeks. He doesn't do it all the time now, but sometimes will cry and wander round, and he comes to me with such a look sometimes, as if to say 'where is he? ANd he has developed some new behaviour patterns. I don't know what to do either, but I just give him as much love as I can, try to stop the bad behavioural patterns in a gentle way and wait it out. I have debated getting another playmate for him as he definitely misses the rough housing he and his brother used to have and the other cats won't play with him, but like you I am not ready for that and there would be too many other problems right now.

I forgot to add that I bought him a new cat bed and some new toys to help him. I guess that Marty just needs time. It is so painful to see him so sad and lost without his brother. Thank you for reassuring me that he is not alone.