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The N-word - Page 4

post #91 of 102
I'm actually at the point now, where I'm going to get rid of my Seinfeld DVD's, because I can't watch them anymore. That show used to be my favourite show, and Kramer one of my favourite characters.

I'm not black, I'm Jewish and I'm offended. I am actually equally offended by Mel Gibson and his anti Jewish remarks, as well as his defense of Michael Richards.
post #92 of 102
I got "Crash" as a thank you gift from a friend's son who visited us last week, and was in hysterics when one character asked another if he thought that whites called each other "honky" all the time. I immediately thought of this thread when I finally got around to watching the DVD.
I really find any ethnic, racial, or religious pejorative objectionable, regardless of whether I myself "fit" into the category.
post #93 of 102
i believe that people believe it can be used in a friendly way however I dont think that a black person has anymore right to say it cause there black. If A black person says it to a white person in a friendly way then the white person should also be able to say it in a friendly way. If a black person is offended by his white friends saying it to him he shouldn't say it to the white person. However I dont think I could bring myself to say it either way just cause it was pound in my head that it is so bad and hatefull and I just don't feel like saying it and to me it is not friendly.
post #94 of 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miyas_mom View Post
Quote:
Probably because you have not had said experience. I think that what we need to do is just have respect for people and their experiences.

My dear friend,

Being a white, heterosexual, monogomous, middle classed male, Proudly born in South Carolina and in my 40's with primarily germanic and irish ancestry and of a christian faith....

I am by social definition the root cause of all of the racial and class issues facing the country today. I am blamed in person, on the TV, the newspaper, the internet for all the things the media twists to suit the current liberal views.
(enter sarcasim)
I single handedly envoked slavery, i was the cause of the holocost, i personally keep black people from advancing in the work force not to mention my oppression of illegal immigrants, womens rights and how i keep the gays apart. Plus i take advantage of the poor and basically have a free ride due to my skin color.
it seems so extreme to make a statement like that,.....but those are the impressions that people who dont know me take due to my skin color. I experience it every day.

Yet also being part of the middle class, i am part of the people who fuel this country. Whose earnings go to help the needy and less fortunate. More of my paycheck as a percentage goes to help minorities and the disadvantaged than than does Nancy Pelosi or jesse jackson.

Yet first thing thown at me for even smiling at a person of differing skin color is racist. then comes the Honkey, cracker, white Nig***, white trash, white dog (if your chinese), etc etc up to and including the word at hand and everyones favorite Red neck due to my home state. Heck when black people find out im from south carolina, they KNOW im racist. when in fact i never saw or experienced racism and descrimination to any real extreme until i moved up to where i live now in NY.

So i have had "said" experience to a degree that i dont think you can identify with. and my statement holds true. I could care less, they are only words. name calling for hate's sake is a tool for simple minds.
People who take the time to know me past my skin color soon find out who i am.
It is that very reason i suppose i enjoy working with animals more than people, animals actually judge you by what you do not how you look.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Miyas_mom View Post
Quote:
Slavery continued after 1839. Not to mention the thousands of lynchings that continued after slavery. Comments such as this are the reason why I often tell people that America is not ready for a serious discussion about racism. Everyone is talking, but no one is listening.""
[quote]
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zissou'sMom View Post
The effects of slavery are still present today. But, it was not entirely a racial thing. It was and is a rich men enslaving black people and other white people, and decimating an entire race of people who lived here before us.
this says a lot and I would have to agree with most if not all of it and certainly address your statement better than i could
except

you are so very right. you arent listening. To me and id wager many more on this board color has no meaning. However You have made it very clear that it is to you. That is racism.
post #95 of 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by IloveSiamese View Post
hmm...I wish I could hear tones of voices..that would sure help lol.

Yes or hand gestures or the look in someones face.
Text is very 2-Dimensional. emotes help, but not always.
post #96 of 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by Middletown View Post
My dear friend,

Being a white, heterosexual, monogamous, middle_classed male, proudly born in South Carolina and in my 40's with primarily Germanic and Irish ancestry and of a Christian faith....

I am by social definition the root cause of all of the racial and class issues facing the country today. I am blamed in person, on the TV, the newspaper, the Internet for all the things the media twists to suit the current liberal views.
(enter sarcasm)
I single-handedly invoked slavery, I was the cause of the Holocaust, I personally keep black people from advancing in the workforce, not to mention my oppression of illegal immigrants, women's rights and how I keep the gays apart. Plus I take advantage of the poor and basically have a free ride due to my skin color.
It seems so extreme to make a statement like that,.....but those are the impressions that people who don't know me take due to my skin color. I experience it every day.

Yet also being part of the middle class, I am part of the people who fuel this country. Whose earnings go to help the needy and less fortunate. More of my paycheck as a percentage goes to help minorities and the disadvantaged than than does Nancy Pelosi's or Jesse Jackson's.

Yet the first thing thrown at me for even smiling at a person of differing skin color is racist. Then comes the Honky, cracker, white Nig***, white trash, white dog (if you're Chinese), etc., etc., up to and including the word at hand and everyone's favorite, "redneck", due to my home state. Heck, when black people find out I'm from South Carolina, they KNOW I'm racist. , when in fact I never saw or experienced racism and discrimination to any real extreme until I moved up to where I live now, in NY.

So I have had "said" experience to a degree that I don't think you can identify with. And my statement holds true. I could care less, they are only words. Name calling for hate's sake is a tool for simple minds.
People who take the time to know me past my skin color soon find out who I am.
It is that very reason I suppose I enjoy working with animals more than people; animals actually judge you by what you do, not how you look.
In other words, not only the "majority" can be accused of racism, or of being xenophobes. I have to agree.
In the early days of this forum, I was faced with some very negative and abusive terms because I was critical of the planned invasion of Iraq, and was even called a "Nazi" and "un-American", because in those days I gave my location as "Germany". How's that for "labeling"?
Yes, I live in Germany, and am married to a German citizen, who was born after WWII to Hungarian refugees of German descent. I was born and raised in the U.S. (into a military family, I might add), however, am of mixed descent (Irish, German, Chinese, English, Swedish), have Christian, Jewish, Muslim and Buddhist family members, and Black, Asian and Native American relatives. My niece did quite a bit of research for a "family tree" project, and an aunt has actually published a book on it (poor - vanity press) and the one thing everybody said was, "We're complicated".
I find it very offensive when people make sweeping accusations based on their often prejudiced perceptions of "otherness". What exactly is the point of holding anybody of European origin responsible for enslaving Africans, or the genocide of native populations in the Americas? Of blaming all Russians for Stalin, all Germans for Hitler, or all Chinese for Mao, for all time? Do people really believe in "collective guilt"? All Cambodians were responsible for Pol Pot, right?
Okay, I'll get down from the ; I just can't deal with all the "labels" some people feel they're entitled to to use.
post #97 of 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by Middletown View Post

this says a lot and I would have to agree with most if not all of it and certainly address your statement better than i could
except

you are so very right. you arent listening. To me and id wager many more on this board color has no meaning. However You have made it very clear that it is to you. That is racism.
I'm having a really hard time deciphering this, but I think it says in one breath that my statement was right, but that I'm not listening, and that because I realize that there are, in fact, differences between people who self-identify as different racial/ethnic/cultural groups (a concept which the vast majority of people I've ever met regardless of background agree with), I am therefore racist Anyway, the grammar is a bit difficult for me, but if that is what is says, I don't get it. I too was once really really naive and thought that people should never even notice another person's race. But you do, the same way you notice if someone is a man or a woman, young or old, blonde or brunette. And as some of the others have said, there is a difference in your experience of life because some people do treat you differently based on your skin color.
post #98 of 102
The N word offends me. But so do all racial slurs and slurs aimed at any group of people (I don't like slurs against gay people either).

Take this from someone with a potty mouth. To the person who said they'll lose respect for me for dropping the f-bomb... well that's too bad for you. I'm an intelligent, professional woman, and a really nice one with a big heart. But my parents raised me that cursing was okay... however, if any racial slur ever came out of my mouth I would have found a bar of soap in it.

And I raise MY daughter the same way. Cursing isn't the big no-no (however, she does not curse, and knows it's not appropriate in places like school). She DOES get in trouble for calling people stupid, or ugly, or fat. Racial slurs would land HER with soap in her mouth. These are bad words. THIS is ugliness. Calling people names that serve to be hurtful, to separate and to discriminate.

(and no, I don't think there's anything wrong with being overweight. We teach our kids to take care of themselves, and to like themselves for who they are -- and NOT to discriminate against anyone for size, shape, color of skin, sexual orientation, etc. -- Our kids are also surrounded by all types of people).

I was raise in white-suburbia and I'm white. My husband was raised in very racially diverse Queens and is hispanic. What I've learned from him is that DENYING people's differences can be offensive too. When you're afraid to describe someone as "a nice looking black man" or "a tall fair white guy" then there's a small amount of racism in you that you're not in touch with. There's nothing offensive about describing people how they are. What I discovered is that it's WHITE people who are afraid... most black, asian, spanish, etc. will say "that white guy" or "that black girl" without thinking twice about it. Us white people get so afraid of being offensive, and are SO conscious of it that we dance around the words and make ourselves look all the more ignorant.

We should rejoice in our differences and remember we have more in common than less. I love learning about different cultures and I'm not afraid to ask questions when I don't know the answer. I'm respectful of everyone that offers me the same respect in return, no matter what their color, religion or sexual orientation. I've had dinner parties with Lesbians and have friends in interacial relationships (and myself am married to an hispanic man). America is a wonderful place with all it's diversity -- we should see that as a gift.

As for the N word... I wish no one would use it. I understand the side of the argument that says they are taking it back... unfortunately, the minute it's out there in wide circulation again the more you risk people seeing it as acceptable to say -- in BAD ways too. I actually think you've actually not taken it back at all... you've given permission to ignorant people to use it all over again. It's one of the words that should continue to be a taboo for ANYONE to say.
post #99 of 102
I remember a few years back when I was acting at one of our local playhouses with theatrical group i was a member of. We were getting out first looks over the script for "Ragtime." I can honestly say that I have never been more saddened or moved than when we put on that musical. It really reflects an earlier time in the US and takes the time out to show you just a glimpse of what life may have been like for a black man or woman during that time. During one of our rehersals there was a scene in which some racists were just horrible to the man and his lady simply because they were black- i remember backstage before the rehersal- we all talked about the N-word and aggreed that non of us approved of it- yet by putting on the show for others to see the magnitude and power of that derogiatory term- we hoped that people would see how cruel it truely was and stop using it. I held back tears during the entire scene when we rehersed it that night- it was like we were actually living in that time and it was going on there- it was so horrible. But we had some wonderful actors who put their races/egos aside and put on the preformance - and believe me- we touched audience members that night and i hope they thought twice before ever using that word or any other racial insult again. I never used the N word to begin with - i've always viewed it as cruel and i honestly think nothing good can come of it. If you guys have not seen "Ragtime", I highly recommend checking out your local playhouses for listings and try to go see it- it is an incredable musical and it really helps open ones eyes to the harsh realities and cruelity of racism. I have personally been taunted on more than one occassion because of my Jewish heritage....I've been there- i know what it's like to be subjected to cruel comments simply because of my heritage....this is exactly why I do not use racial slurs nor do i approve of them- i don't use them and i don't want them used around me or others.
post #100 of 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by StarryEyedTiGeR View Post
I remember a few years back when I was acting at one of our local playhouses with theatrical group i was a member of. We were getting out first looks over the script for "Ragtime." I can honestly say that I have never been more saddened or moved than when we put on that musical. It really reflects an earlier time in the US and takes the time out to show you just a glimpse of what life may have been like for a black man or woman during that time. During one of our rehersals there was a scene in which some racists were just horrible to the man and his lady simply because they were black- i remember backstage before the rehersal- we all talked about the N-word and aggreed that non of us approved of it- yet by putting on the show for others to see the magnitude and power of that derogiatory term- we hoped that people would see how cruel it truely was and stop using it. I held back tears during the entire scene when we rehersed it that night- it was like we were actually living in that time and it was going on there- it was so horrible. But we had some wonderful actors who put their races/egos aside and put on the preformance - and believe me- we touched audience members that night and i hope they thought twice before ever using that word or any other racial insult again. I never used the N word to begin with - i've always viewed it as cruel and i honestly think nothing good can come of it. If you guys have not seen "Ragtime", I highly recommend checking out your local playhouses for listings and try to go see it- it is an incredable musical and it really helps open ones eyes to the harsh realities and cruelity of racism. I have personally been taunted on more than one occassion because of my Jewish heritage....I've been there- i know what it's like to be subjected to cruel comments simply because of my heritage....this is exactly why I do not use racial slurs nor do i approve of them- i don't use them and i don't want them used around me or others.
I have a similar story.
When I was in 6th-8th grade I attended a school that was 80% + black. There were a only a handfull of any other races. I had a few hispanic class mates and a few asian classmates as well. At that age we did not see the Nword, no one used it and it wasnt exposed in mainstream media as "cool" yet.Becasue we were kids yet we did not see a race when we looked at each other, we saw someone to talk to, someone to laugh with and someone to do classwork with....we saw peers. In about 7th grade I was asked by one of my teachers to participate in the class play about the Greensboro Lunch counter sit in. I was asked to be one of the white waitresess who "tell" the black gentlemen to leave and "remind" them they were not supposed to be eating at the counter. I felt terrible every practice. at 12 or 13 years old I understood how rotten the situation was and how could anyone ever live on either ends. I did the play and till this day I remember my lines and I will always remember the rotten feeling it gave me.
post #101 of 102
When I was in the third grade, I was very good friends with two sisters who lived down the street from me. One day I went over and they told me their mother said they couldn't play with me because I'm black. They then proceded to chase me home for the next few days (with a pack of other kids in tow) until I finally stood up to them.

That was a horrible experience, and at the time it wasn't even about race to me. It was more about how cruel people can be to eachother in general. I lost my friends and I didn't understand why.
post #102 of 102
Quote:
Originally Posted by tiffanyjbt View Post
When I was in the third grade, I was very good friends with two sisters who lived down the street from me. One day I went over and they told me their mother said they couldn't play with me because I'm black. They then proceded to chase me home for the next few days (with a pack of other kids in tow) until I finally stood up to them.

That was a horrible experience, and at the time it wasn't even about race to me. It was more about how cruel people can be to eachother in general. I lost my friends and I didn't understand why.

The two children probably never really understood why either.

My two 1/2 brothers are puerto rican (like me) and itallian. My brother who is 15 looks very latin. Where they live its a very white town. The neighbors often say things to their kids about my brothers and the kids just dont care. They see my brother as a normal teen who likes skateboarding, music and haning out with other kids. He has had a better time in high school than my sister. her first day of highschool some kids called her a spic.Times are changing...kinda. i grew up in a neighborhood that was mostly hispanic...my bestfriends brother called me spicky (my family and friends call me nikki) or spicky nikki for a long time. now that we are older he has asked for my forgiveness, he as gotten it but I will not forget. No one ever does.
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