I need some advice.

MoochNNoodles

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I am not happy but I know I have to do something I really do not want to do.

Back in February my best friend's husband got orders to Japan. They had to sell their house here and didn't want all of their animals there while showing it, and couldn't take them all with them, so they ended up finding new homes for their 2 cats and 1 of their dogs, Toby. Toby was her baby that she got our senior year of high school. My boss was looking for a basset hound for her husband, and Toby is a purebred, so I told her about him and they eventually adopted him. They didn't move till September and she visited Toby a lot.

Toby was happy at her house. He got along great with her son, loved to camp with them, and loved the other dogs. The only problem was that Toby did not like my boss' father. He lets the dogs out once a day for my boss (he lives next door) but Toby would not go out for him, only bark and growl. At first that was fine, but then he started peeing on the carpets! She sectioned off rooms and things but he kept on refusing to go out for him and peeing when they were later than usual getting home.

So yesterday at lunch my co-workers and I were sitting around just talking casually and things and my boss said something about a new horse I hadn't heard about. So she proceeded to tell us the story of how she got these 2 new horses. Then she said 'Oh, here's something else you don't know about yet..' in her cheery storytelling voice.... Over Thanksgiving they camped in West Virginia while visiting family. SHE GAVE TOBY TO HER AUNT!!!
It wasn't even planned! They just liked him, so she let them have him! Just like that!

Now a few months ago she kind of casually asked me if my friends family would possibly want him. But it was just casually. There was no serious talk of finding him a new home. None!

So now I have to tell my best friend, who is due to have her first child in less than 2 months, with no one but her husband for support, that her precious Toby has been given away to some stranger. I talked to her sister Monday and she told me she's been crying her eyes out because her cat Buddy (her sister is keeping him till they return to the states in 4 years) had gotten a very bad UTI and her sister freaked out and called her before she could get him to a vet, to let her know what was happening.

I am so POed with my boss! I've known her since I was 14 when she and my mother worked somewhere else together. I never thought she would do that. I know my friend won't hold it against me personally, but she is going to be so hurt over it! She was going to visit him still when she comes home for visits and visited him a lot over the summer before she moved.

Does anyone have advice on how to break the news to her? I have her phone number, but no international calling plan, so I most likely will have to do it through e-mail. I'm thinking of calling her sister first. I haven't said anything to my boss. It wouldn't do any good in the end. Please help! I know I have to tell her....I just really don't want to give her that news!
 

anakat

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Is it possible for you to get the Aunt who now has the dog to e-mail you a photo and a little message saying how happy the dog is, so that you could forward it to your friend?
 
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MoochNNoodles

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Originally Posted by SwampWitch

Do you have to tell her? I'm not suggesting you lie if she asks about Toby, but sometimes we're better off not knowing things. Just a thought.

Cheers, from
SwampWitch
I thought of that....but eventually she will find out. I mean what if I don't, and she comes home for a visit, or something and calls to see him and then finds out. It's not like I can say I lost touch with my boss and didn't know, ya know? I think it would be worse to not tell her or wait too long.
 

white cat lover

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Originally Posted by MoochNNoodles

I thought of that....but eventually she will find out. I mean what if I don't, and she comes home for a visit, or something and calls to see him and then finds out. It's not like I can say I lost touch with my boss and didn't know, ya know? I think it would be worse to not tell her or wait too long.
I agree. If you can get a picture & a note about how happy Toby is in his new home, that would soften the blow...some. There is no nice way to tell her. Is there any way you youself can visit Toby?
 

sillyjilly

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I think you should tell her the truth, that Toby is in a better house for him. Somewhere where he isn't scared and doesn't have to pee on the floor. I mean, he's probably happier and I think she would be happier knowing that he is better off. Even though he was fine in the Boss' house he wasn't fully able to be a dog! So it's better for him and I think she would understand!! Oh yeah, and the photo with him looking happy would be a big bonus! Good luck honey!
 
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MoochNNoodles

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Originally Posted by white cat lover

I agree. If you can get a picture & a note about how happy Toby is in his new home, that would soften the blow...some. There is no nice way to tell her. Is there any way you youself can visit Toby?
Unfortunately, he's at least 14 hours away from here, so I can't figure a way to visit him myself. I hope the lady has a digital camera and computer.
 

neetanddave

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I'd probably lose my job if I was you, cause I would be PISSED


Hope you are able to work something out, Leighann.
 

natalie_ca

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Originally Posted by SillyJilly

I think you should tell her the truth, that Toby is in a better house for him. Somewhere where he isn't scared and doesn't have to pee on the floor. I mean, he's probably happier and I think she would be happier knowing that he is better off. Even though he was fine in the Boss' house he wasn't fully able to be a dog! So it's better for him and I think she would understand!! Oh yeah, and the photo with him looking happy would be a big bonus! Good luck honey!
I was going to post the same thing, but you beat me to it, so I'll just say ...

Ditto!!
 
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