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Humor - Differences in Canine & Feline Diaries

post #1 of 9
Thread Starter 
A co-worker sent this to me. I thought it was funny!

Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary:

8:00 am Dog food! My favorite thing!

9:30 am A car ride! My favorite thing!

9:40 am A walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30 am Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00 pm Lunch! My favorite thing!

1:00 pm Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00 pm Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00 pm Milk bones! My favorite thing!

7:00 pm Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00 pm Wow! Watched TV with my master! Heavenly!

11:00 pm Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary:

Day 683 of my captivity:

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.
They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates are fed
hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the
Rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep
up my strength. The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of
escape.. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their
feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it
clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely
made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am.
The audacity!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight.
I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.
However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard
that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn
what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of
my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must
try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and
snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released
--and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded!
The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate
with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My
captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he
is safe....... for now....
post #2 of 9
Thread Starter 
hmmmm.....why is it that no one ever responds to threads similar to this one when I post them.....at least they don't respond until I post again and ask why no one thinks it's funny?! maybe it's a sign....maybe I shouldn't post stuff like this anymore.
post #3 of 9
That is so cute! I just saw this!!!
post #4 of 9
Well, I haven't been on in awhile and just read it, but that's hilarious! I've seen it before, but it makes me laugh everytime
post #5 of 9
I've seen the cat diary before and found it funny- the dog diary is new to me and sums up a dogs character completely
post #6 of 9
Too cute, i've seen that around on the internet a few times, and everytime it makes me laugh
post #7 of 9
"My favorite thing!" That is soooooo dog!
post #8 of 9
Noo! keep posting them!
post #9 of 9
Thread Starter 
A few of you have seen this before, eh? Well, I guess I'm a little behind on things. I know there is probably soooo much on here that's been posted already and you guys have seen it already.....but I'm still fairly new here. Oh well!
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