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An emotional moment....

post #1 of 32
Thread Starter 
As some of you know, I've lost almost 100lbs. Yesterday, a friend of mine had brought some pictures into work. In the album there were pictures of me at my heaviest. One guy on my team said, "Geeze, who's the fat chick?!"

When I turned to him and said it was me, he turned bright red. He apologized for being crude, but the damage was done. I walked off with my head held high, but then cried my little heart out in the bathroom.

Why do people have to be so mean sometimes?
post #2 of 32
I lost 100 lbs 2 years ago and it was the best thing I ever did.

One of my brother's best friends actually asked me out, I called his bluff on it, I said somthing along the lines... why did you never ask me out this time last year.... he gave me a blank look. It was obviously because I looked better thinner.

Men are pigs
post #3 of 32
Congrats to both of you on your fabulous accomplishment! some people just never seem to realize that it is always the same person inside, but they always go by whats on the outside
post #4 of 32
The prat!! Your a new woman now, so don't let this person who wouldn't know tact if it was to bite him in the bum upset you
post #5 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by lookingglass View Post
As some of you know, I've lost almost 100lbs. Yesterday, a friend of mine had brought some pictures into work. In the album there were pictures of me at my heaviest. One guy on my team said, "Geeze, who's the fat chick?!"

When I turned to him and said it was me, he turned bright red. He apologized for being crude, but the damage was done. I walked off with my head held high, but then cried my little heart out in the bathroom.

Why do people have to be so mean sometimes?
I'm so sorry honey - you did something very hard, and it was for you. I won't say looks don't matter - obviously we all care about what we look like. But looks don't matter more than who we are inside, and you are a great person, fat or thin or in between.

And you are a real lady for the way you behaved.
post #6 of 32
What an accomplishment to have lost that much weight!

What he said has absolutely nothing to do about you. It says everything about him and who he is.
post #7 of 32
Pam is exactly right!!! This has nothing to do with you!! And congrats!
post #8 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pami View Post
What an accomplishment to have lost that much weight!

What he said has absolutely nothing to do about you. It says everything about him and who he is.
I am sure he didn't mean to offend you or hurt your feelings.
post #9 of 32
Good job on loosing so much weight. I know that you had to work very hard to do it. I would like to loose some weight too.

Don't let that guys comment get to you (I know its easier said than done). Its sad that some people think like that.
post #10 of 32
*hugs*

Congrats on your weight loss!!!

As for the guy you work with, ignore him. Unfortunately the guy is superficial and is part of the problem with society today.

People who make such cruel and crude comments like that are suffering from their own inadequacies and make those comments because they believe it puts them above the other person: which most of us know isn't true.
post #11 of 32
I know the damage is done when people say things that leave you thinking doesn't matter what it was about, that's the worst thing anyone can do, you chose to turn your back and I hope you can let it go. I have never felt that someone or anyone has the right to make someone else feel miserable, don't let one statement destory your confidence, just consider he's a lame duck And let it go You know how hard you worked to do what you did, don't let one person ruin your effort. Lots of to you. And I know you can alway's say Bit happens right?
post #12 of 32
Congratulations on the weight loss.
I would ignore what that guy said-he obviously was embarrassed (besides being thoughtless).
post #13 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sibohan2005 View Post

Men are pigs
Anger issues maybe? trust me it works both way.

lookingglass
"Why do people have to be so mean sometimes"

but as to why people say mean things, it cause they want people to feel as bad as they do. I see my boss to it to others in the office all the time, it allows them to feel better about who they are. by trying to make you feel bad about yourself. Or they think it makes them look cool or funny.

And of course Fat people are among the last that socity still seems to think it is ok to make fun of.

I hope you feel good about yourself you should
i know how hard it is to lose that much weight.
hope your day gets better
post #14 of 32
People often stick their feet in their mouth. He was probably just trying to get a laugh or maybe he was even curious as to who it was.. Most people really only say things like that to impress other people and don't really personally feel that way anyway. I know that I've said some REALLY BAD things by mistake, or in an attempt to be funny or whatever. And people always say insensitive things to me by mistake, so I just brush it off. I'm sure he did not mean to offend you.. but I'm sorry that he did! Congrats on all the hard work.
post #15 of 32
Being what society usually calls a "fat chick", I am always paranoid about what people are saying behind my back. Sad thing is, this guy obviously thought it was socially acceptable to make fun of whoever was in the picture because the people around him weren't "fat".

Heather, you've done an amazing thing by losing all of that weight! Be proud of that, and don't let the shallow people in society get you down. We love ya, no matter what your weight.
post #16 of 32
Thread Starter 
Thanks everyone... It just sucked.

The same guy that called me "the fat chick" yesterday tried to buy me lunch today. I told him I'd pass and go eat with my husband. He blushed again.
post #17 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by Satai View Post
I'm so sorry honey - you did something very hard, and it was for you. I won't say looks don't matter - obviously we all care about what we look like. But looks don't matter more than who we are inside, and you are a great person, fat or thin or in between.

And you are a real lady for the way you behaved.
My hat's off to you for your accomplishment , and for your poise in that awkward moment.
post #18 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by lookingglass View Post
I walked off with my head held high
Good for You!!!

Quote:
Originally Posted by lookingglass View Post
The same guy that called me "the fat chick" yesterday tried to buy me lunch today. I told him I'd pass and go eat with my husband. He blushed again.
You go girl!!!

Congrats on your weight loss Heather!!! Personally, I think you should let 8-Bit loose on him. hahahahahaha
post #19 of 32
Forget that jerk honey! His aweful comment is not worth your tears / You want me to him for you?? I'd be happy to!/ Seriously though heather, what you did when you lost your weight was sooooo good for your body, your body image, and everything else- that is a huge thing right there and an awesome acomplishment! You should be proud of yourself- you did something successfully that many people struggle with. I have always been small- but I can't stand it when people pick on others becuse of size or weight. One of my best friends is about 300lbs right now, and you wouldn't believe how aweful people can be to her- it's like they go out of their way to make a fat joke- i don't stand for it- i march right up to the jerks and put them in their place every time. I wish people would look past body size sometimes and for once look a person in their eyes you know. Yes, size does matter as far as health reasons go- but no person should ever be subjected to ridicule because of their weight- ever, that is just unacceptable. Hopefully one day, that guy will realize how aweful he made you feel and won't repeat those actions again. I'm so sorry he made you cry sweetie, i would have been hurt to, but try to remember that nobody can ever make you feel inferior without your concsent - a nice lady named roosevelt once said that. Hang in there gorgeous- that guy's comment isn't worth a dime.
post #20 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sibohan2005 View Post
Men are pigs
I wouldn't say that ALL men are pigs. There are many good guys out there. / Men can sometimes be mean just as women can. I don't think an entire gender should be classified as "pigs" because of the action of one person. That's just not right.
post #21 of 32
First of all, congratulations on your accomplishment! It's not easy to lose weight

In no way do I mean to excuse this guy. He made a thoughtless comment, but didn't mean to hurt you personally. It seems as if he is truly embarassed by what he said. There are plenty of people who would not have cared that they hurt someone's feelings. I know he hurt and embarassed you, and I'm sorry


On another note, I also don't think it has anything to do with him being a man (I know it wasn't you who said it was). I've seen both women and men make thoughtless or cruel comments. He's just a person who made a mistake. I'd like to think I've never hurt anyone's feelings, but I doubt that's true. I don't think that many of us can say that we've never said anything that we wish we'd never said.
post #22 of 32
Wow! Congratulations on both your weight loss and for keeping your cool and taking the high road.

I've been trying to lose a significant amount of weight, too. I still have a ways to go, but I've lost 70 lbs so far. The insensitive things people say, even when they think they're being complimentary, never cease to amaze me. I absolutely agree with theimp98 when he says that "Fat people are among the last that society still seems to think it is ok to make fun of." That couldn't be more true.

Don't let it get you down, though. Know that you are far more beautiful...both inside and out...than that guy will ever be.
post #23 of 32
Oh, if only you had just looked at him and said, "Why? You interested?" Hind sight is so annoying! He's an idiot, the sort that's here and there and everywhere, like fungus in the forest.

I know it's a tender issue for you. Keep congratulating yourself on your accomplishment. You feel better about yourself. The idiot is wandering around, probably scratching himself in private areas .....
post #24 of 32
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by clixpix View Post
First of all, congratulations on your accomplishment! It's not easy to lose weight

In no way do I mean to excuse this guy. He made a thoughtless comment, but didn't mean to hurt you personally. It seems as if he is truly embarassed by what he said. There are plenty of people who would not have cared that they hurt someone's feelings. I know he hurt and embarassed you, and I'm sorry


On another note, I also don't think it has anything to do with him being a man (I know it wasn't you who said it was). I've seen both women and men make thoughtless or cruel comments. He's just a person who made a mistake. I'd like to think I've never hurt anyone's feelings, but I doubt that's true. I don't think that many of us can say that we've never said anything that we wish we'd never said.

Oh I don't think it had anything to do with him being a man. I've had women say mean things about my weight too.

I don't think that he ment to hurt me by saying it. I just think that he didn't think before he said it.

DH said that he suffered from foot in mouth disease!
post #25 of 32
Congrats on all the weight lost!!!
I would say just ignore the comment.
Quote:
Being what society usually calls a "fat chick", I am always paranoid about what people are saying behind my back.
I hear you!!! I always wonder what they are saying and it makes me feel so low about myself.
post #26 of 32
Sweetie, you rock!! Don't let anyone else get you down
post #27 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pami View Post
What an accomplishment to have lost that much weight!

What he said has absolutely nothing to do about you. It says everything about him and who he is.
and if you want I will him for you to my friend
post #28 of 32
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tavia'smom View Post
and if you want I will him for you to my friend
Thanks so much... it was just one of those things that is still a soft spot for me. After being heavy for so long, and then loosing it, it's hard to get out of that mind set. My manager was looking at the album today, and asked if it was my sister. When I told him it was me, he said if I put half the effort into loosing weight as I do into working on his team I'd get promoted. The funny thing is that he's right.
post #29 of 32
Just remember that Bit and Scratch and DH will always love you regardless!
post #30 of 32
Quote:
Originally Posted by lookingglass View Post
DH said that he suffered from foot in mouth disease!
I think your DH is right. Horrible, horrible people. My college roommate always had a problem with her weight as well. She was an early education major and I'll never forget the night she came home crying because one of her students had called her fat. She held it in until she got to our apartment. It doesn't matter who says it. Comments on touchy topics always sting.

With that said, I think you look awesome now, and its obvious you've worked really hard. Of course you're such a beautiful person on the inside that I considered you a friend way before I even saw a picture of you.
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