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Humor for Friday the 13th!

post #1 of 5
Thread Starter 
Why it's great to be a man!

Your last name stays put.

The garage is all yours.

Wedding plans take care of themselves.

Chocolate is just another snack.

You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

Car mechanics tell you the truth.

You don't care if someone doesn't notice your new haircut.

The world is your urinal.

You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.

Same work . . . more pay.

Wrinkles add character.

Wedding Dress $5000; tuxedo rental $100.

People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.

Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So, notice anything different?"

One mood, ALL the damn time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.

You can open all your own jars.

Dry cleaners and hair stylists don't rob you blind.

You can leave the motel bed unmade.

You can kill your own food.

You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.

If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.

Everything on your face stays its original color.

You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.

Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

You don't have to clean your apartment if the maid is coming.

You can quietly watch a game with a buddy for hours without thinking: "He must be mad at me."

You don't mooch off other's desserts.

You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.

You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.

You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.

You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.

The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

You don't have to shave below your neck.

Your belly usually hides your big hips.

One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.

You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.

You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24th, in 45 minutes.

post #2 of 5
That's great! I'm not sure I would trade you on some of those "benefits", but I do think men have simpler and easier lives.
post #3 of 5
Mr. Cat,

What a riot!!!
post #4 of 5
Easy and simple life,huh?? Not when we get heart conditions,mental breakdowns and nervous tics trying to figure out what you she-males are talking about!!!!
post #5 of 5
Mr. Cat.....That was really funny!!! Thanks for sharing it!!! (The world is your urinal....LOL) Too funny.
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