Originally Posted by Mom2SalemIsis
Well I didnt expect this kind of response thats for sure. But some of us dont have the luxary of being able to be with our children 24/7 some of us have to work twice as hard just to pay the bills you know the ones that dont make enough to live but make too much to qualify for help yeah well that where i fall. if i had a choice my daughter would be in after school care but i cant afford it and there is no place that will watch her in my area till i get off of work at night (10 pm) my parents work more hours than i do so they cant watch her and i dont know anyone else. my husband wont be home till april so i am doing this all on my own. She is not alone every night of the week btw! most of the time I am home within one hour of her getting off the bus. she is only alone maybe 2 days out of the whole week. crucify me if you like but i dont have another choice.
I'm not crucifying you - I gave an honest answer, and I'm sorry if the truth hurts.
I raised my daughter ALL BY MYSELF
as a single parent, and I had to pay for daycare services because no way would I EVER leave my child alone by herself when she was young!
I have NO IDEA what it is like to be there 24/7 - I've never had that much money OR support from anyone else when I was raising my child, not even help from family, so I've been there and done that. I've been what is classified as working poor for WELL over two decades.
What I did in MY case was MAKE SACRIFICES. It is about priorities, and if you love your child, you will do whatever it takes
to make sure they are as protected and cared for as possible.
You can rationalize it all you want if it makes you feel better about your situation, but I call it the way I see it. Where there is a will, there is a way.
Obviously, it is easier for you to leave your child alone by herself with no supervision. Therefore, IMO, you have no right to complain when your child becomes out of control, because it is YOUR lack of supervision and proper care that has created this situation.
Again, been there, done that, so I absolutely know whereof I speak.
Your best bet is to get yourself some help - go to your local department of child services and BEG them to help you because you just don't have the resources to properly care for your child in the afternoons.
They aren't just there to take children OUT of homes, they are there as a resource to help keep children IN their homes.
If you don't change this situation, it will only get worse, and your daughter could wind up pregnant at age 12, on drugs, in jail, or dead. And i KNOW you love her and don't want to see that happen.
PLEASE get outside help for your family. I am NOT attacking you, I am concerned for the well being of not just your daughter, but you as well. I know all too well the stress placed on a single parent, believe me!!!
I want to add to this as well, it does sound like she is a good kid and that's awesome
that she's in counseling. So what this tells me about her behavior is that she is honestly crying out for your help and attention, and she is doing this by sneaking out of the house.
Can you talk to her counselor about it? Are there any afterschool programs like the Booys & Girls Club that she can go to that operate on sliding scales? My daughter grew up going to my local YMCA after school, and they were WONDERFUL to me.
Seriously, and again, I am NOT attacking you, please don't take what I've said the wrong way. If I didn't care, I wouldn't have said ANYTHING.