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why can't we all just get along?

post #1 of 11
Thread Starter 
ok, well, we've had our cat, hershey, for maybe 3 weeks. he's doing okay and everything, but how long is it going to be expected that he will eventually come around and stop fighting our other house cat? we adopted him from my friend and he was an 'only child' cat all his life. he's 6 years old, i'm guessing. he just will not get along with her. hershey even attacked our other cat from behind, which i thought was really dirty. but we've been trying to adapt him outside a little bit as well, he seems to enjoy the outside (we put him on a cat leash.. poor thing) until he runs into another cat.

what i basically want is him to get along. my family is getting fed up with it. you can teach an old cat new tricks, right? i hope so for his sake.
post #2 of 11
I've asked the same question. Sometimes cats will end up being the best snuggly buddies, and sometimes the most you can ask for is that they tolerate each other. (And it could take months...)

When we had this problem before, and we moved, the cats became best of friends and established their territory together at the new house. Moving's not always an option, though! Hang in there.

Cheers, from
post #3 of 11
It is not going to happen overnight. It will take time and patience.
post #4 of 11
Did you read all the advice on this forum on introductions?
post #5 of 11
Sometimes cats hit it off straight away and get on within a matter of days, but usually it takes a lot longer and you can expect it to be weeks or even months. You need to be really patient. I've had Mosi for 8 months and we still have the hissies from time to time when he oversteps the mark with Jaffa. Also, even when they get on that doesn't mean they necessarily stop playing rough and sometimes play can get a bit serious and turn into fisty cuffs. So long as no-one's getting hurt I would't worry too much about them 'attacking' each other. Mosi jumps on Jaffa from behind all the time He always loses though as Jaffa is bigger than him.
post #6 of 11
Thread Starter 
okay, should i just let them do whatever they want until they get along?

i've tried looking in other posts, but i don't really find anything. no offense, but they all say, "have you looked at other forums?" with no substantial answer

but anyway, should i just let them run their course? they haven't gotten nasty, i keep a close eye on the two... months huh... that's a long time.. phew


btw, does being fixed and being a male have a factor in all that? we have a stray female (fixed when dumped; we live in the country) and she was able to get along within the week. i thought it was interesting the female could get along better.. or maybe it's just the individual cat.. i don't know.

thanks again
post #7 of 11
Hi- read mine on redirected aggression and you will see that it really does take a lot of patience. Mine got along like soul mates until an incident and now 3 weeks into it, we still have issues- but it gets better every day. Keep them seperated, give them some treats at supervised time and play with them, keep increasing the time together. There is the vanilla under the chin and tail area on both, so they smell the same. Next, try the Feliway aromizer if you still have problems. Good luck. I know it is very frustrating.
post #8 of 11
Thread Starter 
sorry, what is a feliway aromizer? i've never heard of that

post #9 of 11
I meant hjave you read the stickys on introduction on this forum. From your reply, I don't think you have. It gives detailed steps on the best way to introduce cats, and just letting them run free is not one of the suggestions. Sorry I wasn't more clear, but the stickys and introduction are the first things you see when you open this site. I assumed it was obvious, but you know what they say about that.
post #10 of 11
Thread Starter 
ok, i'm glad you told me that, i never would have known

thanks a lot
post #11 of 11

The above address will give you lots of info.

We kept Bijou and Mika separated for 1 full month, allowing supervised visits together only in the evening when we were home. Often during the first weeks we had to separate them again after only 5 or 10 minutes together. It really does take patience but it is really worth it in the end. Now our two groom each other, sleep together with their paws touching and their heads snuggled into each other. They also sometimes get very rough with their chasing and playing but they work it out. If Mika complains too loudly (Bijou is twice her size and very muscular compared to her tiny, delicate little body), we will intervene. Bijou is smart too, he knows when we say "No Bijou" and he will stop being rough.

Give them the time they need and you will be rewarded.
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