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Back to the ER with Noel

post #1 of 19
Thread Starter 
Hi Everyone,

Well thank goodness I haven't been able to sleep...I went to go use the restroom and found Noel in respiratory distress. I immediately brought her to the ER. She was panting. It was awful. I honestly thought she was going to die. I had all these flashback to my baby Blue Eyes and when he died on the way to the same place. Luckily they kept me posted on her when I asked. They drained a lot of fluid out of her chest cavity and gave her some oxygen. I can't stand the pain she is going through. I am going to ask the vet tomorrow about putting her down. I feel like a murderer doing it but I would rather do that than torture her. I know they have said this is normal for her, but it's ridiculous to have her go through this every few days. I feel so heartbroken between her and Timber. I am almost wondering if I shouldn't put them down together since they are mama and baby. Please keep us in your prayers.


PS How can I add her picture so you can see how beautiful she is? I also have pictures of Timber too. Thanks.
post #2 of 19
Oh honey, I'm so sorry to hear about Noel.

Please, Please, Please KNOW that you ARE NOT a murderer if you decide to have her put to sleep.
What you ARE is a person who loves their baby very, very, very much and doesn't want her to suffer.

I'll keep you and your babies in my thoughts and prayers!
post #3 of 19
Do NOT feel like a murderer if you decide it's time to let your girl be at rest. You're doing everything you can to help her.

I just had to go through the same thing with my Sheba. She was 18 and had renal and heart failure. She was doing way better than expected on medications until the diuretic stopped working, and her chest kept filling with fluid. I had her euthanized on Thanksgiving day. It was the best gift I could give her. I promised her when she first got sick that I'd do whatever it took to keep her comfortable and happy as long as I could. And I did that. She was purring and giving headbutts Wednesday morning.

People always tell you that you'll know when it's the right time. Working for a vet, I can look at someone else's pet and know it's time. But I was so emotionally involved that it was very, very hard to let go. I still saw that spark in her eye, but I had to tell myself that it wasn't going to get any better for her, only worse. I couldn't put her through any more pain and distress. And as sad as it was saying goodbye, it was a relief to not see her sides heaving and mouth gasping anymore.

In the end, I know I did the right thing for her.
post #4 of 19
Thread Starter 
I really appreciate what you said. I am going to try to sleep some with her near me. This stinks so much. I know the end is coming. I just hate it but want her to be at peace, not hurting. I am so grateful for the wonderful care she has been given. I know she wouldn't still be here if it wasn't for them. But I know I just need to let go and let her cross the bridge and play with Blue Eyes aka Blueberry. Thanks for being there for us.

Many hugs,
post #5 of 19

You must follow your heart You know what's best for them and you will know when the time is right.

About the pics We would love to see them!!! If you open a Photobucket's free quick and easy you can than post your pics. Here is the link to tell you what u need to do
post #6 of 19
Sweetie, you shouldn't feel like a murderer if you choose to euthanize. It's called love. Nobody wants to see their babies suffer. If there's a quality of life issue, and it sounds like there is, euthanasia may be the most loving and unselfish thing you could do. My heart truly goes out to you in this sad time. I wish you the best in whatever you decide to do.
post #7 of 19
Actually it is the ultimate expression of love, if you will. You are putting your babies needs above and beyond yours.

You said it yourself, you can't stand to see the pain that they are in, and they can not tell you how much it really hurts.

If you didn't love them, you would not trying to do all you could to keep them near you. If in your heart it is time, a greater expression of love would be to let them go in peace and painlessness.

We are all here for you during this very, very difficult time. Peaceful headbuts and serene licks from KittenKiya's Clan to you and your babies.
post #8 of 19
You are easing her pain. You have done every thing humanly possible and unfortunately, it seems it is her time to go. We have been there ourselves and we are here with you now.

post #9 of 19
Originally Posted by ulualoha View Post
I really appreciate what you said. I am going to try to sleep some with her near me. This stinks so much. I know the end is coming. I just hate it but want her to be at peace, not hurting. I am so grateful for the wonderful care she has been given. I know she wouldn't still be here if it wasn't for them. But I know I just need to let go and let her cross the bridge and play with Blue Eyes aka Blueberry. Thanks for being there for us.

Many hugs,

You're very welcome.
I know how hard it is because I've been there myself.
Like others have said, when it's time you'll know.
I agonized over the decision with our sweet Maggie, but in the end I knew I had to do what was best for her and letting her go was the most loving thing I could do.
Her physical body may not be with you, but her spirit will live in your heart forever.
post #10 of 19

I'm worried about you...I tried to Pm you but your box is full...Please know I am here for you!!!!!
post #11 of 19
Oh, I am so sorry, and I am praying for you all.
post #12 of 19
Oh Terri...
We are here for you.
post #13 of 19
My heart goes out to you. On Nov. 15 my boy Sebastian went to play over the rainbow. He was very sick and he was not going to recover. It is so unfair that as parents we have to decide sometime to put our babies out of their suffering. A friend reminded me that it is better to let a love a softly. If you decide to let Noel go play, my little boy will be there to greet her. I know your pain and I feel your pain.
I hope that my experience can help you with yours.
I held my boy and spoke to him before the know...
I held him while the dr. did you know
And, I held him afterwards and spoke to him.
I took a special frame and put a picture and some fur that I had cut off of him a few weeks before in the frame. I wsh that I had a paw print but I do not. I put the picture frame and his ashes on top of the bookcase, his favorite place to be. He looks down at me all the time.

Best of Luck
post #14 of 19
It's a horrible, horrible decision to make. We all wish they'd just go peacefully in their sleep, but like my husband reminded me with Sheba, that wouldn't happen with all the care we give them. My Sheba and your Noel would have died "naturally" long before if we didn't take such good care of them, giving them diuretics and everything else to help them breathe.

As a vet tech, I've witnessed "natural death" as well as euthanasias many times. Natural is often scary and seems painful, for the animal and the people there with them. With euths, they just fall asleep. It's a wonderful gift we're able to give them, to go quietly and peacefully.
post #15 of 19
Thread Starter 
Gosh, just when I think I know what is going to happen, my babies prove me wrong. Noel has stabilized and is actually being so much more herself, it's amazing. The vet told me it's not good that her chest keeps filling with fluid but she's holding hope for the medication that she was given on Monday and then the one she'll get next week. So we aren't out of the woods yet but she's better and might I add, continuing to eat on her own. Timber on the other hand is breathing quite hard. The vet gave me a prescription to help her with the breathing. There is chemo treatments they can give her for the cancer in her lungs (which is breast cancer cells) but it could interfere with her kidney treatments. What complicated things worse was that my kitty's normal vet gave me the wrong xrays so she couldn't even assess the situation. My vet is starting to drive me nuts (Long Story). Anyhow we decided to wait until next week to talk about her when she could look at her xrays. Overall though, I am SO GRATEFUL. We are still hanging tough over here. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your words of encouragement.

Many hugs,
post #16 of 19
What a roller coaster you are on and how stressful it must be. But I am glad Noel seems better and hope that some quality time can yet be bought for her. Good vibes for both of them.
post #17 of 19
Please let us know how things are going. I am praying for you and for your babies.
post #18 of 19
How frustrating about the X-ray mix up.
You are such a good kitty Mommy.
Hugs and healing vibes are still going out to you & your precious babies.
post #19 of 19
Your little girl knows how much you love her. I am praying for you.
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