Had a Horrible Thanksgiving...

Well today(it's stll the 23rd as I write this) is my 20th birthday. I decided to be spend thanksgiving with my Boyfriend and his mom this year.

My family practically berated me constantly because I was not going to be there. They are manipulative and want they want, they wanted Jeff his mom and myself all to come to their thanksgiving. NO WAY would that happen.

My mother has not met Jeff yet, IMO she can wait. He hates the way she treats me and is in no rush to meet her anyway. He really does not like how she treats me. She has said some really mean things about him and has not even met him yet.

So I am at his moms house having a great time, we played scrabble (I lost! ) I get three voicemails,here I am thinking they are family wishing me a happy birthday. They are all of family yelling at me how my mom is crying and how I hurt her and how I am riduculous.

My mom was/is verbally abusive to me most of my life. I dont get along with her that much at all.

I just feel like crap, Jeff wishes there was something he can do. I just bawled. A wonderful day ruined because of them. I had a secret feeling they were going to do this.

I am in therapy because of them. I just don't know what else to do. I am at my wits end.

Am I in the wrong? sorry had to vent.

No you are not worng hon. I think you stood up for yourself and did what YOU wanted to. Your mom is not used to that so she is manipulating everyone to make you look bad. Good for you for being in therapy (I am too), whne do you see your therapist next? Do you keep a journal? Sometimes when its a while before my next session I write down my feelings as I am expriencing them at the time and take them with me.

Good luck and good for you for getting help.

Originally Posted by Sims2fan

No you are not worng hon. I think you stood up for yourself and did what YOU wanted to. Your mom is not used to that so she is manipulating everyone to make you look bad. Good for you for being in therapy (I am too), whne do you see your therapist next? Do you keep a journal? Sometimes when its a while before my next session I write down my feelings as I am expriencing them at the time and take them with me.

Good luck and good for you for getting help.

Click to expand...

Yeah I will see my therapist, on the 30th. Oh I saved the voicemails and will let her listen to them.

Therapy has been working. But I am just so weak against my family....

You are not wrong to want to be happy!! It is your life not theirs, I am glad that you have a therapist to talk to about this. This is going to sound harsh but take it from someone who has been there. Just because they are your "family" does not mean that you have to live your life making them happy.

Lots of to you and HAPPY BIRTHDAY

I don't think you were in the wrong. My mother was much the same way to me while she was alive, things had just started to get better after I had moved out before she passed. I think the counseling is a very good thing for you to do, and I know this will sound wierd or like you wouldn't want to do it, and she wouldn't want to do it, but you may ask your counselor if she would do a session with you and your mom! It may help, both of you!

Besides all that, Happy (belated) Birthday and Thanksgiving!!

You did the right thing.
You shouldnt worry about how happy your making somone else who is making you miserable!

You know what...if playing scrabble and losing makes you happy over being stuck in a house with a women how treats you like garbage...SCRABBLE IT BE!!!

The older i get the more I see that you cant please everyone all the time, people get over things . if they cant that shows you and everyone else how childish they can be.

From my kritter family to you & yours....
Have a great holiday (its the 24th i know) and have a great Birthday! (its the 24th i know lol)

first happy birthday !!!!!

If that is how they make you feel, then yes of course you did the right thing.

Happy birthday!

My brother had the saying: Guilt is resentment turned inward. Your mom is doing her best to make you feel guilty but just remember your feelings are directed at her, not yourself. I'm so sorry that she is putting you thru this! You did the right thing by chosing how you wanted to spend Thanksgiving.

Thank you everyone!

It makes me smile that I have nice people like you to talk to.

I am ready for what today brings me. I am sort of scared my mom will cut off my benefits. I have them through her job. If she did that then I can't go to therapy anymore.