I wanted to share my story as support for you,
I adopted a baby kitten from a vet/shelter in 04. He was the best I could have ever hoped for ! So cute, friendly, quirky, wonderful. Was always at the arm of the couch waiting for me when I walked in the front door. I named him Beezel after his devilish nature. He never roamed around outside, however loved car rides and going to Petsmart to pick out new toys. I always kept him in the apt. besides going to Petsmart. Well in may 05 he was 9 months old, he was nutered at 6 mos, and he also loved to play with my sister's ferrets. So my sister was graduating college downstate here in Illinois, so I brought him with to see the ferret cousins for the weekend. I brought him in a carrier and he was fine all weekend. Friday, Sat, Sunday. On sunday night we went to the casino My sister, her fiance, and myself. Driving home, her fiance wanted to end the night, but since it was our last night together my sister and I decided to go to an amuteur contest at a strip club. This is a decision I will never forgive myself for. After the strip club, during our ride home we talking about having one last playtime with Beezel and the ferrets and the fact I would depart the next day after my tattoo appointment at 1 p.m. My sister was departing to florida the next day for a weeks vacation. Upon arrival to my sisters house Beezel was gone. I searched the entire apt, canvassed the whole surrounding area. I couldnt sleep that night. The next day I left at the crack of dawn to ask around and put up Missing cat fliers. My sisters fiance found him dead on the road, hit by a car about 11 a.m.. I cried until I went for the tattoo, I brought a picture of him on his last living day, taken with a poloriod instant camera to show my tattoo artist and cried while getting the tattoo. The tattoo was preplanned months in advance of a praying angel but it was not meant to be Beezels angel however it reminds me of him now. The good die young,
God likes to call his favorites to heaven sooner than we all would like.
It's not your fault this happened, and I felt the same way as you do after the death, I felt like I could never have another cat to live up to Beezel. I mean he was just purrfect. I swore I would never have another cat so I would never have to go through it again. I decided to get a cat last June, he is even better than Beezel I am enjoying him so much! I hope he lives 20 years so do get another one it will help alot. It definately made me feel better I still have pictures of Beezel all over my apt. to keep his memory alive. Good luck to you