How do I know when they should meet?!

roger_wilco

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I posted earlier.. have a resident 4 yr old male (Ash) nutered cat, he's very cool and relaxed.

Just got a Kitten (Glory) (female 8 wks old) last Friday (not this past friday).

Had her isolated for 2 days, then on Sun night put her in a cat carrier and brought her out.. He smelled her and al that but did hiss and then lunge at her a few times.. so we figured it was too soon. Isolated her again until the present time. (1 week)

We did some of the suggested stuff, we put him in a room for a while and she comes out and checks out the rest of the apartment plays around drinks his water and all that, then goes back, he comes out chills out like normal. Had a blanket for her she sleeps on, and a hand puppet she attacks constantly.. brought those out for Ash to check out, he sniffed, nad walked away, no signs at all, he doesn't really seem to care.

We cracked the door to the room she's in just enough so they can see eachother... couple of swats, no hissing at all, but its a chore to even get them to interact for long enough, he pretty much just looses interest and walks away...

So with all that when do I know its the right time to get these 2 together?
 

persi & alley

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Our situation was almost precisely like yours except the older cat was also female. Since the new cat just showed up on the doorstep and it was warm outside, we just started letting the new cat in for a few minutes each day, putting food and water out on the porch. We just allowed the new cat in more and more each day until they could actually live in the house together although it was quite a while before all the actual hissing stopped but they ended up quite the pals. I think you may also be lucky that they are of different sexes, it seems that helps at least in some ot the mails I have read on this forum. My cats for dummies tells me "Don't leave them alone together until you're convinced they're friends. I feel comportable leaving them alone once they start grooming each other." And so much for the expert's opinion.
 
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roger_wilco

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Originally Posted by Persi

Our situation was almost precisely like yours except the older cat was also female. Since the new cat just showed up on the doorstep and it was warm outside, we just started letting the new cat in for a few minutes each day, putting food and water out on the porch. We just allowed the new cat in more and more each day until they could actually live in the house together although it was quite a while before all the actual hissing stopped but they ended up quite the pals. I think you may also be lucky that they are of different sexes, it seems that helps at least in some ot the mails I have read on this forum. My cats for dummies tells me "Don't leave them alone together until you're convinced they're friends. I feel comportable leaving them alone once they start grooming each other." And so much for the expert's opinion.
There is a pretty big size difference between the two... I'm afraid Ash might kill her with one move.. before we can do anything about it.. .is that a bit unrealistic?
 

persi & alley

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Originally Posted by Roger_Wilco

There is a pretty big size difference between the two... I'm afraid Ash might kill her with one move.. before we can do anything about it.. .is that a bit unrealistic?
The resident cat we do not know her age because she was from the pound nor did we know the age of the cat that showed up but both were very small so sounds like to have a different case that somebody else can answer better. It's after midnight here now but I am sure in the morning you will have your answer! Until then rest assure that most people have been able to work these things out just fine.
 

larke

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I think it's a good idea to keep them separate when you're out for any length of time (beyond going to the mailbox :-) til she's bigger.
 

yosemite

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Bijou was (and still is) twice Mika's size when Mika came to live with us. We allowed them only supervised visits for 1 month before we allowed them to be together without us home. At first there was a lot of hissing and growling and we often had to separate them after only a few minutes together. We were slowly able to increase their together time. Again, as the poster above said, once they start grooming each other it's a pretty safe bet that they will be alright. Bijou can still get a bit rough with Mika and she lets us know but considering she is half his size she is pretty good at holding her own.
 

katje

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give your resident cat the time to realize this little intruder isnt going anywhere, even if he is bratty about it.

It is not uncommon for cats to need a bit of time. Two weeks isnt unrealistic. With kittens, it usually goes faster though, since they are less intimidating and less aware of threats, aswell as not territorial just yet.

Keep introducing them, but dont force them to interact. Never force a cat to do anything...it ll only backfire.
Leave them in the same room, and end the interaction before it escalates, even if this means after five minutes. Its not the lenght of the visits, its the frequency that will make the resident cat realize he cannot pretend this thing is gonna go away. Always supervise, untill they are like washing eachother and are good friends, sorta speak.

Give them also a reason to like eachother. Ohh, look, if we are in the same room, treats are being distributed( dont feed them too close or rivalry for the food will kick in). Play with the resident cat, if you can, while the kitten is present. Let him know he aint about to lose his place and attention to that little intruder.

And most of all: Be patient. Let the cats decide the pace, and dont feel like a failure if you have to start from square one. As long as no blood flows, they will come around. I promise
 
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roger_wilco

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Originally Posted by Katje

give your resident cat the time to realize this little intruder isnt going anywhere, even if he is bratty about it.

It is not uncommon for cats to need a bit of time. Two weeks isnt unrealistic. With kittens, it usually goes faster though, since they are less intimidating and less aware of threats, aswell as not territorial just yet.

Keep introducing them, but dont force them to interact. Never force a cat to do anything...it ll only backfire.
Leave them in the same room, and end the interaction before it escalates, even if this means after five minutes. Its not the lenght of the visits, its the frequency that will make the resident cat realize he cannot pretend this thing is gonna go away. Always supervise, untill they are like washing eachother and are good friends, sorta speak.

Give them also a reason to like eachother. Ohh, look, if we are in the same room, treats are being distributed( dont feed them too close or rivalry for the food will kick in). Play with the resident cat, if you can, while the kitten is present. Let him know he aint about to lose his place and attention to that little intruder.

And most of all: Be patient. Let the cats decide the pace, and dont feel like a failure if you have to start from square one. As long as no blood flows, they will come around. I promise
Allright, will do. We hardly ever have to discipline Ash cause like I said he's as chill as can be.. but if when we do we j ust use a water bottle. One quick squirt and he gets the message... is that ok to use if they start battling it out? And I expect a swat here and there, when should I get concerned taht the Kitten is in danger? If that happens....
 

katje

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Keep an eye on them. They have to establish hierarchy, so let them sniff it out, just do not let it escalate. The moment there is any violence, seperate, give them time to cool off, and start over.Growling, hissing, the occasional pawing aslong as it is without nails and just swinging at eachother a bit, is fine.

You have the added advantage that you have a kitten there. Although usually a bit more careless, they also are less likely to be considered a huge threat and their cluelessness often acts as harnas. Other cats realise that they do not know the kitty-behavior-code just yet, and tend to let them get away with more. Same with puppies. Adult cats and dogs will automatically get out of the way of kittens and puppies if they do something they dont like, instead of confronting them with it, because they somehow realise this furball is too small for now to know the rules.

AFter a while though, around 6-8 months, your youngster will be taught though by the older cat, who then thinks it has been plenty patient and feels the kitten should learn the code. So look forward to this
 
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