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Brother Very Upset

post #1 of 10
Thread Starter 
I had to let my little boy, Sebastian, go over the rainbow bridge yesterday. I am doing OK today. I know that my Sebastian is at peace playing with all of his lost friends.
Last night his brother Marty was OK...I held him, cried and told Marty that is OK. Today, Marty only wanted to be held. I think he knows that his brother will not be his cuddle buddy anymore. Marty is 15 years old. He is in fairly good health. He has some kidney fucntion function problems. He is on Science Diet K/D. Marty also has arthritis in his hind legs. In the past 2 hours Marty has been a mess. After dinner he started YELLING. He had yelled in the past when he could not find his brother. I let Marty go around the house. I opened the closets when Marty yelled at the doors. I showed Marty that his brother is not hiding and that he is gone.
I have searched for something that his brother had used but I have washed everything already. Marty looks so sad right now. I think that he has cried himself to sleep. I am afraid that he will become depressed. I have heard that this can be fatal.

I will hold him and love him as much as I can. My friend suggested that I get a new playmate for Marty. But, I CANNOT do that. Financially I can not afford a new cat and it would not be fair to bring a new baby in the house.

How have other people dealt with this situation?
post #2 of 10
Oh isn't it just heartbreaking to watch them grieve? How sad. I don't know what to tell you. I know when I lost several cats in a fire, one of my cats in particular was just beside himself, crying and wandering around the hotel room looking for his missing brothers and sisters. All I could do was love on him. He finally gave up and settled down but it took a few days. My heart goes out to you and Marty. I know what you're going through.
post #3 of 10
Thread Starter 
Thank you for the reassurance. I guess Marty just needs lots of love and time.

I am so sorry to read about your losses. My heart aches for you.

Thank you again!
post #4 of 10
Originally Posted by Myboys15 View Post
Thank you for the reassurance. I guess Marty just needs lots of love and time.

I am so sorry to read about your losses. My heart aches for you.

Thank you again!
I appreciate that. The five year mark is approaching (26th) but sometimes it feels like only yesterday. It was the worst day of my life. But anyway, this thread is about you and Marty, not me.... So try to maintain your routine as normal as possible so there is no additional upset for Marty. He will grieve in his own way and in his own time. Give him an extra hug from me. Hugs to you too.
post #5 of 10
So sorry to hear about Sebastian I lost my Magpie a year ago and his brother Jaffa really missed him. He used to wander around the flat crying and refused to be in a different room from me. It took him a few months to get over it and start to act more normally, but he's fine now. Just give Marty lots of hugs and attention and give him time. Is he eating ok? So long as he's eating I'm sure he'll be ok in time.
post #6 of 10
When we were in that situation I found that Rescue Remedy helped a lot (both me and Daisy)
post #7 of 10
I'm sorry to hear that Marty is grieving so. I had to let my 17 y/o Sophie go over the bridge last month; my 6 y/o Jack had always tormented her, but he's the one that misses her. We have 4 others, but there are still days that Jack seems to be searching for Sophie. He's become much more clingy than in the past, too. I think with the extra attention you're giving Marty he will be ok, but just like you, he needs time to grieve.
post #8 of 10
It was terrible in the few days following Napoleon's death - his brother simply would not stop looking for him and crying. It was at least two weeks before he really stopped on a daily basis. I lost Napoleon six weeks ago, but Wellington is still grieving. Not as much as he was but he has bouts of searching and meowing around the house. His behaviour has changed too - he goes from one extreme to the other of wanting to be held and petted to going off into a room by himself and not coming out for hours. . All you can do is be there for him as he needs you. I was fortunate in that one of my others, Ellie, seemed to sense his loss and went out of her way to pet and groom him, which helped a lot, I think. But it is obvious he misses the play they used to have, which none of the others will do with him as he is a bit strong and they get scared. My heart goes out to you, I know how difficult it is, grieving yourself and having to deal with a cat who cannot understand. I still howl into Wellington's fur.
post #9 of 10
So sorry for your loss and to you and Marty during this difficult time.
post #10 of 10
I am so sorry for your loss of your beautiful boy Sebastian. I know this pain all too well...When our sweet Bella died in Sept we allowed all of our cats to smell her after she went to Heaven, she was the oldest and they all looked up to her, Sophia took it the hardest...they were the closest, she has gotten much better, sometimes it just takes time. But I also have blankets here that were Bella's that she smells, Severino smells them too. I think they find some comfort in that. Sophia has also become more affectionate since Bella went to Heaven. I'm the one that can't handle it I would just keep an eye on your sweet Marty and give him extra attention...Grieving is a real thing for animals.
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