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some people..........

post #1 of 10
Thread Starter 
I had a friend back in h.s. who was pretty much a best friend. Anways, she had a lot of guy problems. If they broke up with her, she lost it & looked for sympathy, which I was there for. When I met my husband, I spent a lot of time with him, but would still do things with her on occassion. A few months before I got married, I had missed her b-day, and she refused to talk to me....... She was living with a boyfriend at the time (husband now). I remember when I called over, I finally confronted him & told him it was b.s. what she was pulling. So, I had a hard time deciding whether or not to invite her to my wedding. I spoke to her mom & she said it was hard forher to be happy for me because of all the things going on with her, etc. Anways, about 2 years ago, I called her parents to see how she was, etc. Her dad gave her my phone number, so she could call me. We spoke for about half an hour. I havent heard from her since, but noticed on classmates.com that she had gotten married to the guy. So, today, I called her parents' telling them that I had lost her phone # (which I honestly did), and asked if he could please give her my # because I wanted to see how she was. He said she was there, and I could hear her & her mom. Her mom said something like "somebody wants your phone #" ........ then CLICK! NOw, I'm sorry but that just proves to me how she will not speak to me. I'm the only person with that name, and I know she knew who I was...... I had to unblock my telephone # to get thru to their line. I think it was extremely rude of her to do that..... She could have atleast got on the phone & say Hello or asked who it was. This is the last time I will try to ever contact her again. It was a mistake to even do that.
post #2 of 10
The problem with the beauty of life is the ugly that comes with it. The hardest part of getting my divorce was admitting how wrong I had been. I think you're experiencing a bit of that with your old friend. For someone to be that unforgiving and rude is someone, in the end, you probably don't want to be friends with. And it's sad, especially when you were so close. It makes you question your judgment, and can be very frustrating. But you're right - some people just aren't worth it. But the journey that brings us to that understanding, unfortunately just sucks sometimes. It's painful being both "rejected" by someone not worth it in the end, and angering because of the injustice of it at the same time.

There are lots of us out there who have gone through something similar at some point in our lives, and it's no fun. Sorry to hear it, but sending "Trust Yourself" vibes and hugs if you're a hugger.
post #3 of 10
It is weird how people that were once friends will act. We had a dear friend that we helped through a rough divorce. She hooked up with her ex's best friend and they got married. Then they started having kids, something we opted not to do. The more kids they had, the less friendly they got. By the time they had #5 (in 4 years), we were completely immoral scumbags. We had all been pretty wild together, partying and acting silly, but because they couldn't do it any more, it was wrong, and we were horrible. It ddin't matter that we calmed down and started staying home and doing well in our jobs. They were tied down with all these kids and we weren't. We would still go see them occasionally, but it was never the same. We tried to see them before we left town, and they invited us out, like we were all still friendly. We arrived, and they weren't there. We found out later that they decided they didn't want us around their kids. We had been around all the kids before! It wasn't our fault they had 5 kids, after she swore she would never have any. I guess some people can't stand to see others happy!
post #4 of 10
Thread Starter 
I think she could of atleast asked who it was. Damn, I don't even do that when someone who has the wrong phone number calls. Oh well ...... I made the effort, again, after 2 years, but in the end, it's her loss.
post #5 of 10
tigger, at least you put forth the effort to try to recconect with her...so you have done your part. i think it was pretty inconsiderate of her to get mad at you for forgetting her birthday when it was so close to your wedding, and you obviously had so mnay things on your mind, planning a wedding is stressful and alot of work...she should have understood that. sometimes people we think are so close to us reallt disappoint us. my supposed best friend did the same thing...since i could not give her all the attention she needed after my father died, because i was still hurting, and having a hard time dealing with it, so she basically dumped me...and it still hurts. excuse the typing, i have amber in my hands and only have one hand to type with. i would say it is your friends loss...you tried.
post #6 of 10
Thread Starter 
I had another friend who did something similar to what your friend did. My grandmother died in 4/96, and I was close to her. Anyways, it was close to the fair and my mother thought I should go. I didnt want to go though, but I went. My mother told her that I wasnt feeling good, too. So, we were walking and all of a sudden I just burst into tears. So, my friend and I went and sat down and got something to eat. I told her I'd be back, that I was going to go to the bathroom. Only I didn't. I called my husband (boyfriend at the time) and talked to him for a while. Eventually, she figured it out a few days later. Anways, we got into an email fight, lol. I told her that if she were a true friend, she would have understood, and she said that she was my friend with the support she had given to me. Oh well.

Hey, you did a great job typing for having 1 hand Teaching Amber the ropes at a young age, huh! :tounge2:
post #7 of 10
One thing I have learned, is just because someone says they are your friend, doesn't mean they really are...a true friend stands the test of time.
post #8 of 10
I think everyone has been there with a "friend" at one time or another. When I first moved to Denver I didn't know anyone. I went to a concert and met a couple people there with the same passion/obsession for music that I had. I became "friends" with one girl, and we did everything together for quite a long time. She was very needy, and always depressed. The problems started when she introduced me to a friend of hers. Percy found me more interesting to talk to than her (since I wasn't always depressed, I would guess), and called me and stuff. Then, when I started meeting other men, she couldn't handle it at all. Gave me all kinds of guilt trips of not being a friend, putting the guys I had just met before her and our friendship, etc. By the time I met hubby, I just didn't even want to deal with working on a real relationship and her friendship. I ended up just kind of phasing her out of my life. It was the cowardly way out, I just couldn't deal with the guilt trips anymore. Overall, I'm much better off without her in my life. She wiped out all my energy.
post #9 of 10
IMO it's her loss. She doesn't know what a good friend you are!
You're better off without her.
post #10 of 10
Tigger, I think there are two possibilities. One--she hasn't grown up yet. That seemed like a childish thing to do. Two--she didn't know it was you, in which case it's now her job to locate and call you. Sometimes you have to live through a bit more than she has to realize what's petty and what's important! It's not age; it's experience and wisdom that make the difference.
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