Oh No...

So I really need a place to vent my frustrations right now... sorry in advance...

I lost my #1 kitty to cancer on Saturday. Now his brother kitty is left alone. I want to get him a new friend. I know it hasn't been a week, but I truelly believe this will be a good healing device for both of us. I would rather remember Nathan when he was well and frisky, not the sickly Nathan- and the constant reminder that something is missing here. Sure it won't change that he is gone- but it will bring a ray of sunshine into a shadowed house and help me remember all the good times we had. The problem is that my boyfriend says it's too soon and he isn't ready for me to get another cat. He said he will leave me if I do. The problem is that I went to see a kitten today- and fell on love with two- and they will both be here tomorrow.

Now Skye- the cat that is left behind- he seems to be coping without his brother, but a strange thing has started to happen. We have a dog too who neither one of the cats ever paid attention to. They all just co-exisist. But now I think Skye might be getting lonely because he is actually eyeing the dog like he wants to lay with her. He will go over and sniff her then decide he'd rather not and will lay in the area, but not with her.

I don't want this to be a bad experience- but I can't go back and say no to the kittens. My heart broke last week and I need to start to heal. I just wish my boyfriend wasn't so negative. Thanks for letting me vent.... Any if you have any words of wisdom- I would appreciate it.

I know you are hurting right now.But, do you want to loose your boyfriend over getting another kitten right now? I mean, if he isn't ready, then I would take his feelings into consideration too.Give it a few more days and see what he says then.

No, I don't want to lose him, but who is he to decide when it's time to get a new friend. I really need this right now. I wish I could get him to understand. I really need something positive right now.

Have you told him how you really feel? What you just told us? I'm not the person to give adive, esp. since I've never really even been on a date. I know he's hurting, too, but I think he should also take your & Skye's opinion's into consideration, too.

I would sit down and tell him how much you are hurting and that you REALLY feel the want to have another kitty.Maybe have him help you pick a kitten out?!!

I can't believe in a time you're hurting so much, he says he will leave you if you get another cat! I'm sorry, but that's really mean!

Does he live with you? Did he not like having 2 cats? Is he truly upset about your other kitty dying, and truly heartbroken to the point where another cat would upset him even more?

Hun, why would your bf leave you just for getting a kitten?

I have told him exactly what I've told you guys. He said that I am being selfish and not taking his feelings into consideration. That he pays rent here too. Maybe he is right- but he doesn't take care of the cats he never has- I do- and I have no problem with that- they are my kids. He says I can get another cat- just not now. He won't give me a reason- he just says not now. I asked for a timeline but he just said not now. How do I call this woman after I said I would take them? I am taking them on a 'foster to adopt' program. I get them for 2 weeks to see if they can settle in with Skye. I told him this to see if that would make a difference, but it didn't. I tried to get him to come with me to help pick one out- but he wants none of it. ???

hmmmmm maybe he is getting you one? Maybe that's why he's saying not right now?
I'm not sure why he's being that way.
(But, if my DH said not right now,then I would have to abide by his wishes.)

Originally Posted by crittermom

hmmmmm maybe he is getting you one? Maybe that's why he's saying not right now?
I'm not sure why he's being that way.
(But, if my DH said not right now,then I would have to abide by his wishes.)

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Thats what I was thinking...but threatening to leave you?? Weird.

I asked him that. But we have a strange history- so I think it might go a lot deeper...

Nathan I had before I met him. Skye I got early on while we were dating. He didn't see why I needed another cat- but we had just started dating so... fast forward 3 years... We live together and I brought home a puppy. He was so mad. But he got over it after a couple of weeks... fast forward to 3 months ago. I got my nose pierced without his 'permission' and he wouldn't look at me for a week- and never said it looked cute (which it does I might add). So to him once again I am only thinking of myself. We are not married, but have been together for 10 years. I gave him the talk in January that he had until October (officially marking 10 years) to pop the question. It didn't happen. So now what? But that is a whole nother therapy session...
Do I get the kittens anyway? Or should I give in and call the woman to say I can't take them?

Oh wow!! That's a tough one.
ONLY you know him and what he will do.I'm just not sure.

Originally Posted by Melanie&Nathan

I asked him that. But we have a strange history- so I think it might go a lot deeper...

Nathan I had before I met him. Skye I got early on while we were dating. He didn't see why I needed another cat- but we had just started dating so... fast forward 3 years... We live together and I brought home a puppy. He was so mad. But he got over it after a couple of weeks... fast forward to 3 months ago. I got my nose pierced without his 'permission' and he wouldn't look at me for a week- and never said it looked cute (which it does I might add). So to him once again I am only thinking of myself. We are not married, but have been together for 10 years. I gave him the talk in January that he had until October (officially marking 10 years) to pop the question. It didn't happen. So now what? But that is a whole nother therapy session...
Do I get the kittens anyway? Or should I give in and call the woman to say I can't take them?

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I'd get them!
No offence but he sounds like a control freak. You can find another boyfriend, these babies might not find another loving home

I do worry that the kittens won't find another good home. And I don't want Skye to start getting lonely. I'm so confused... what is the right thing for me to do??

Originally Posted by Melanie&Nathan

I do worry that the kittens won't find another good home. And I don't want Skye to start getting lonely. I'm so confused... what is the right thing for me to do??

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I would go ahead and get the kittens.

If I'm in the wrong here I want you guys to be honest... Is there some sort of compromise that you all can think of?

Thanks guys! This really is the best site ever.

Hi! I'm really sorry that you lost your fur kid.

I really can't think of a compromise, but I have to agree that based on what you said it sounds like he's a really controlling guy.

I hope everything works out!

Who pays the bills for the pets?

Um, I think that you should take his feelings into consideration - and so should he with yours. It sounds to me like he just wants to control your decisions, and you, and you should not be putting up with that. I almost wonder if you said you didn't want a kitten, if he would go out and get one, just to let you know who the boss is.

Worse, he knows that you will stay with him no matter what he threatens, because of his failure to propose after he knew it might mean losing you. Not that you should force anyone to propose, but if it hasn't happened after ten years, why are you still waiting? Sorry, but I think you should look deeper into your relationship, and make some decisions regarding that, and then you can have as many cats as you like - knowing you are in control of your own situation.

, but I think you should look deeper into your relationship, and make some decisions regarding that,

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I'm inclined to agree. Not that I know you or your bf of course, but the way he's treating you just doesn't sound right.
It sounds like he doesn't like animals either, so he's not that cut up about losing the cat. Maybe he'd be happier in a house with no pets, and just puts up with them for your sake?