Need Advice about class partner!

Good news people!

After emailing and talking with my professor tonight, I have latched onto another group. I spoke with my (former) Partner after class tonight -before I knew this- and he was trying to change the project topic

Next weeks classes are nothing but 10 minute presentations...and we still did not have a topic.

So some other people I knew happen to overhear my dilema, and said that providing it was OK with the professor, I could join their group.
I do feel a little bad, as now I have to tell this guy at the last minute that he has to latch onto another group, but as these guys put it, it's survival of the fittest...I'm not paying $800 a credit hour to fail because I had to do the majority of the work.

So now, my next question is, has any of you broken off with your partner [from a class project] and how did you tell them?

Oohh that is a toughy. First off, I think you should do whatever you need to do to survive this.

Make a list of why you need to move so you can better tell him why it is not going to work. Are there any resources like going to the professor you can recommend to him? He definitely needs some sort of help/support to get through school.

Keep the tone very neutral and on the behaviors.

Haha I just went with the other group and have my former group figure it out o their own! haha

Yep I have.

Just be honest and tell him that you have a great deal riding on this course and that you feel the 2 of you just weren't working well together.

No need for further explanation than that.

Unfortunately not all students are equally motivated and many even get through by riding on the coat tails of others.

When I went into nursing school I was older and had to support myself. I wasn't debt free when I went and student loans only go so far so I found myself having to work a great deal. A great deal turned out to be nearly full time in my first year.

The labs were pretty intense so what I decided to do was work ahead. We had all of the labs for the 2 year period given to us at the start of the program. So during Christmas break I finished up all of the first year labs, and during spring and summer break I finished up the all of the labs for second year.

Also when I was doing my research for my clinical on the ward assignments, when I looked up diseases and conditions and blood tests and other types of tests, I wrote them on recipe cards and loose leaf so that if I ever had another patient with that disease or blood test etc, all I had to do was pull out the information that I had already recorded and read it. It made my research before my clinical days very easy and it only took me about an hour after the first month or so instead of 5 or 6 hours.

Well, as soon as some found out that I had worked so far ahead and that I had saved all of my clinical research notes, I had people coming to me asking if they could borrow my labs etc. etc.

I busted my butt with my research and spent all of my free time working on school stuff in order to make my future school months less "heavy" so I could work more, and I firmly said no. Anyone could have done what I did if they wanted to, but they didn't. Instead they preferred to go out for beers and party instead of planning ahead.

So don't feel bad for working for yourself in your course. Your final grade is not a group effort and it's unfortunate you ended up paired up with a slacker. Move to the new group and go for that A+ You deserve nothing less!!!!!!!!

Thanks guys!

HappyHendrix, you're horrible !!!

For example, though...he said after class that he was going to email me tonight...it's 11 pm and still no email.

He wasn't necessarily lazy, more not as familiar with the english language. He does have outside help and has improved since the beginning of the semester, but still the language barrier isn't helping the project (i.e he wants to use documents that were written in his language).



It is a toughy, cause I'm kind of screwing him...but we would be more screwed if we tried to put something together.

Don't make excuses. This is an acedemic, not social setting - be polite but firm - just tell him that his work/behaviour/level of interest/dedication/understanding of the requirements of the project, pick any or all, was entirely unacceptable, and despite your attempts to contact him to resolve this, he made exactly zero effort to remedy the situation, so you are dissolving the partnership with your Professor's blessing.

If he doesn't look like he's about to cry, you have probably been too tactful, and he doesn't understand exactly what has happened.

Originally Posted by lunasmom

Thanks guys!

HappyHendrix, you're horrible

!!!

For example, though...he said after class that he was going to email me tonight...it's 11 pm and still no email.

He wasn't necessarily lazy, more not as familiar with the english language. He does have outside help and has improved since the beginning of the semester, but still the language barrier isn't helping the project (i.e he wants to use documents that were written in his language).

It is a toughy, cause I'm kind of screwing him...but we would be more screwed if we tried to put something together.

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To an outsider observer, the case looks different. He was definately lazy about coming up with a solution to the problem.

Maybe something about how you think you would be more compatible with another group..and the class is very important to you...I don't think there is any need to hurt the guys feelings.

Sucks for the group that will get him eh?

Satai, I can see where you're coming from. IMO from knowing this guy it is neck and neck between the language barrier and plain laziness.

OK so I'm still putting together what I'm going to email him. So far I have:

"I was thinking last night that since we do not have a project proposal and the presentations are due next week, that we should just separate and join another group. I really think that at this point in the project we are further behind than we should be and that seeing if any other groups have extra work that we can work on will help us out. No offense, but I really don't want to get a bad grade in this class.
I did check with the professor and he is willing to allow up to 5 people in groups, rather than the 4, due to our dilemma.
X and Y did tell me last night that they do have extra work in their group that they can have me work on. I checked with professor and will be joining their group."

Originally Posted by lunasmom

"I was thinking last night that since we do not have a project proposal and the presentations are due next week, that we should just separate and join another group. I really think that at this point in the project we are further behind than we should be and that seeing if any other groups have extra work that we can work on will help us out. No offense, but I really don't want to get a bad grade in this class.
I did check with the professor and he is willing to allow up to 5 people in groups, rather than the 4, due to our dilemma.
X and Y did tell me last night that they do have extra work in their group that they can have me work on. I checked with professor and will be joining their group."

Click to expand...

I think you need be more forceful so I have underlined words that I think should be removed.

Crushing him utterly is a) the best way to get him to avoid ever considering asking for your help again and b) the best way to get a reputation for guarding your GPA ruthlessly. This makes life much easier.

On the other hand, not having many friends is not for everybody, and your draft email resolves the situation without closing any doors - so that my be a better option for you. I wasn't kidding about the not playing well with others - but that only goes for my grades.

Hmmm...thanks...yes I'm still to the point that I'm deciding whether to be nice and leave a door opened, or be rough. The program is small (about 100 students tops), so I really don't want enemies.

Great, now you guys are getting me a little fired up...I was just thinking about the time he borrowed my notes from one class (since due to his lack of English he wasn't taking any). He took 2 days to return them! I even offered after he didn't return them the next day to photocopy them...no he wanted to practise writing out English.
I played stupid after that about notes...he never asked again. Then again the way I write notes would leave any one confused, I use up the whole paper.

When I was in school (college) we had a project and were split into groups of 3. We had 1 month to assemble the information and create the project. We split the work into 3 parts so each would do their part and we would get together one a week to brainstorm. Myself and Basha (one of my partners) set aside time called the other girl, e-mailed her, left messages for her for 3 weeks and heard nothing. She went to the professor and told him that we wern't including her, The proff in turn told her she could do the project on her own, but no one told Basha and me. 4 days befor it was due we found out she was doing her own project so Basha and I had to assemble the missing information (that she had been assigned) type everything up and hand it all in. I typed for 8 hours straight while she read the information off to me so that we could make the deadline. We in the end got a B+ grade, but it was Nuts!
I suggest being as honest and forthcoming as possible with your partner. It will make you the better person for it in the end. Pull your weight and do your job and make sure your partner has enough time to pull things together by himself so in the end you won't be enemies.

Sanctimonious old person advice here.

This has been a good lesson for you. Wherever you work, you will probably end up with a project. Now you know to set up a project plan with who's doing what and when everything will be due. And then if dates start getting missed, you can take action so you don't get burned again.

Good luck on the new team.

Yes, this has been a good lesson, show my true anal self and take action ASAP. Plus I know i was too busy playing nice. After talking with my new group yesterday I found out that even though this is suppose to be an "elite" selection of people for the program, there are still a lot that got in based on $$$ from the parents. They basically have been burned by too many people themselves.

Well I just sent the email. I basically said what I stated before, just changed it up enough and began it with "I don't think our project is going to happen and that we need to split off and join another group".

It didn't help since yet again its 11 am, I checked my email and there still isn't one from him as he claimed he was going to send last night. So I was a little more curt with him, ending it with I've found another group to work with.

Is it possible that he doesn't have computer access or internet right now?

If you have his phone number, call him. If you don't have it, call the university and ask them for it. Tell them that you and he are lab partners and you need to talk to him but he's not answering email.

No he has internet access. He lives on campus and the university provides it for students for free.
Plus he carries his laptop with him to at least every class.

Its funny...I don't get quick responses from him for the project, but suddenly an hour later I get a response from him about this. Well, I guess I should go read it...

Originally Posted by lunasmom

No he has internet access. He lives on campus and the university provides it for students for free.
Plus he carries his laptop with him to at least every class.

Its funny...I don't get quick responses from him for the project, but suddenly an hour later I get a response from him about this. Well, I guess I should go read it...

Click to expand...

So what was the response?

Oh Sorry!

He was fine with it. He said that he was in agreement that he wanted a good grade as well and that he was sorry that he didn't wasn't as good at English (which I swear I did not bring anything up about that!!).

So I'm relieved that it didn't turn into a dramatic thing...for some reason I always prepare for that (the worse).

Thanks again everyone! You guys rock!