Some "You might be a redneck if..." lines

neetanddave

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You might be a redneck if...

You've ever hitchhiked naked.

You're turned on by a woman who can field dress a
deer.

You use the O on a stop sign to sight your new
rifle.

Your bumper sticker says, "My other car is a
combine."

The gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare
foot.

The highlight of your parties is when you flip
out your false teeth.

Your wife keeps a can of Vienna sausage in her
purse.


Taking a dip has nothing to do with water.

There are more than ten lawsuits currently
pending against your dog.

You take a fishing pole to Sea World.

The hood and one door are a different color from
the rest of your car.

You've ever filled your deer tag on the golf
course.

You've ever shot somebody over a mall parking
space.

Santa Claus refuses to let your kids sit in his
lap.

Your toilet paper has page numbers on it.

You think mud rasslin' should be an Olympic
sport.

The receptionist checks the rat traps at your
place of business.

You list your parole officer as a reference.

There are more fish on your wall than pictures.


Motel 6 turns off the lights when they see you
coming.
 

gayef

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A few of my own favs ...

In tough situations you ask yourself, "What would Curly do?"
Taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen in your truck.
You think the last words to the Star Spangled Banner are "Gentlemen, start your engines."
Your child's first words are "Attention K-Mart shoppers!"
Your wife's best pair of shoes are steel-toed Red Wings.
 

katiemae1277

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those are good! my personal favorite? You might be a redneck if there are more cars in your front yard that DON't run than DO
 

katiemae1277

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Originally Posted by gayef

A few of my own favs ...

In tough situations you ask yourself, "What would Curly do?"
Taking your wife on a cruise means circling the Dairy Queen in your truck.
You think the last words to the Star Spangled Banner are "Gentlemen, start your engines."
Your child's first words are "Attention K-Mart shoppers!"
Your wife's best pair of shoes are steel-toed Red Wings.
 

halfpint

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I found this one



10 Ways to tell if a Redneck has been working on a Computer



10. The monitor is up on blocks.
9. Outgoing faxes have tobacco stains on them.
8. The six front keys have rotted out.
7. The extra RAM ports have truck parts stored in them.
6. The numeric keypad only goes up to six.
5. The password is "Bubba".
4. There's a gun rack mounted on the CPU.
3. There's a Coors can in the cup holder(CD-ROM drive).
2. The keyboard is camouflaged.
AND the number 1 way to tell if a redneck has been working on a computer is...

1. The mouse is referred to as a "critter".
 

maddensmom

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Originally Posted by neetanddave

You might be a redneck if...


The gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare
foot.
My Dad actually has a set of these in his truck...two big feet for the gas and brake and a little foot for the parking brake!!
 

dixie_darlin

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You might be a redneck if your wallet and dog both are on a chain

You might be a redneck if you have a spit tune on your ironing board

You might be a redneck if your family tree doesn't fork

You might be a redneck if your house still has the wheels and taillights on it

 

halfpint

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You might be a redneck if...

More than one living relative is named after a Southern Civil War general.

You think the stock market has a fence around it.

You think the O.J. trial was the big Sunkist and Minutemaid taste test.

You've ever lost a loved one to kudzu.

Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

Your front porch collapses and kills more than three dogs.

Your coffee table used to be a telephone cable spool.

You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

You've ever used a toilet seat as a picture frame.

Your home has more miles on it than your car.


You might be a redneck if...

Every electrical outlet in your house is a fire hazard.

Your kids are going hungry tonight because you just had to have those Yosemite Sam mudflaps.

You owe the taxidermist more than your annual income.

You fainted when you met Slim Whitman.

You have lost at least one tooth opening a beer bottle.

Jack Daniels makes your list of "most admired people".

You won't stop at a rest area if you have an empty beer can in the car.

Your dog can't watch you eat without gagging.

You have a Hefty bag on the passenger side window of your car.

You have a very special baseball cap, just for formal occasions.
 
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