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Why won't she sleep with me

post #1 of 22
Thread Starter 
My 9 week old kitten Yoshi is starting to get used to our house, but I need help with one thing. I want her to sleep with me at night but she always wants to sleep either on the floor or at the foot of my bed. I've been keeping a heating pad right next to my face lately and putting her on it to pet her, but she always ends up walking up on my pillow or down by my feet. Is there some way that I can train her to sleep in my arms?

I know this might sound like a weird problem, but it's because I recently lost a dog that used to sleep in my arms, and I really miss the feeling of having a warm body to snuggle at night.
post #2 of 22
Hi! I'm sorry but I don't know if there's anything you can do. When one or both of my cats decide to sleep with us, they're always at the foot of the bed. Someone else might have a suggestion...
post #3 of 22
A cat is going to do what a cat wants to do. I don't think you can force her or train her to sleep in your arms. Maybe over time, she will feel more comfortable and sleep near you. It may not be in your arms, but something closer than at the foot of your bed will be better than nothing at all. Good luck with her.
post #4 of 22
I have a cat that lays across my throat- you want him? Seriously though, like Sophie said, a cat 's gonna do what she wants and the more you try to force her to do what YOU want, the more she's going to resist just the nature of a cat, give her some time to get comfortable with you and she may choose on her own to sleep with you- maybe you could get a stuffed animal to snuggle for right now?
post #5 of 22
At 9 weeks old she's still finding her feet, so to speak. Young kittens don't seem to feel the cold and she may find your bed too warm. When I got Mosi he used to sleep on the floor or under the bed (that's for the 10 mins during the night he actually slept ) but now he climbs into bed at some point during the night and I always wake to find him cuddled up to me. You can't make her sleep where she doesn't want too, but she may eventually decide that your bed is the comfiest place.
post #6 of 22
In addition to all the excellent comments above, I'd like to add that sometimes cats get snugglier with age. When they are young, they are usually pretty hyper!

Cheers, from
post #7 of 22
Try wearing your dirty socks over your head....No ? well, then, one night sleep with your head down at the other end of the bed and see what she does. She might be attracted to the odor of your feet, which allot of cats are scented to that. You could also be wearing some kind of makeup or perfume, cat's don't generally like those scents. I've got one that has to sleep on my arm as I extend it to the side of my bed, of course she gets the obligitory over the nose pet, then lays her little head down and rolls her body into my arm pit...yuck, but, cat's is weird people!!
post #8 of 22
She is very young, only a baby. If you let her be, sooner or later she will come to see you. I adopted a four year old cat who slept on a sofa for the first two weeks, then decided to come to bed with me and give my shoulder a happy feet massage, then sleep right next to me. The massage was painful but worth it!

You have to let the cat make the decision; you should not force her.
post #9 of 22
Plus you may not be aware of it, but overnight you might move around some, fling out your arms, etc., and that would put me off if I was 5 lbs. and landed on the floor all of a sudden from being sound asleep.
post #10 of 22
Thread Starter 
Hahaha, thanks so much guys. I'll give her space and let her choose. And in the meantime, I'm cuddling with the heating pad!
post #11 of 22
I don't want to be a downer, but our Simba would only sleep at our feet. I too wanted him to sleep snuggled with me but alas, he did not want to. I hope as your baby gets older it wants to get snuggly with you.
post #12 of 22
like other have said, give the ktty time,
Sometimes are cats sleep with us sometimes they dont,
however i do notice that colder it gets, the closer to me they get when sleeping
post #13 of 22
My Bobby.... I never even knew where he slept at night but then one day dutchie took a hunk out of his nose so I brought his favorite bed up and put it next to me in my bed so I could spoil him because I felt aweful that his little nosey bled... Anyway ever since I put his bed on my bed he hasn't slept anywhere else! Dutchie is really mad because she use to sleep in the spot where his bed is!!!

If he has a bed try that and if he doesnt I highly highly reccommend the catmagnet bed because my cats love those

Bobby Even Defends his bed against invaders or at least Duchess
post #14 of 22
When my husband did shift work I knew my cat would love to sleep with me, but my twisting and turning at night was enough to make her jump off the bed and sleep somewhere else.
post #15 of 22
Be careful what you wish for. Our cats normally sleep in "the cat room" but with hubby away I decided to let them in the bedroom.
I woke up with Spritzer on my chest, her bum in my face
post #16 of 22
Originally Posted by missymotus View Post
Be careful what you wish for. Our cats normally sleep in "the cat room" but with hubby away I decided to let them in the bedroom.
I woke up with Spritzer on my chest, her bum in my face
That's priceless...

I have to agree with missymotus. Be careful what you wish for. I end up trapped with my biggest cat (pushing 20 lbs) on one side of me and my hubbie on the other side with the blankets tucked under him. I can't move and it drives me crazy!

Now we've got a turf war going on with 2 of the cats that both want to sleep on the same side of me. Our other cat has never slept with us, but one, sometimes two do and it's not always enjoyable. Love them to death, but I also like my sleep!
post #17 of 22
I have similar issue, but my current cat has only been in the house hold a week. She is extremely affectionate and loves petting, but she's resistant to cuddling up close. She'll lay on the bed for a few mins, but when she is really ready to sleep she's under the bed. During the day she'll occasionaly nap on the bed, if no one else is on it.

I'm hoping its just being in a new place and she'll be more comfortable soon.
post #18 of 22
I have that same issue also. We've had my cat, Noiro for seven years and he rarely will ever sleep close to me, mostly would sleep at the end of my bed. I figured it may be because I move during the night? He sleeps closer to my mom. Its cute actually, he'll go to bed with me.. then at some time in the early morning, he'll go upstairs and sleep with my mom, which he actually sleeps close to her and my mom gets annoyed with it lol. Basically he'll "move around, pushing his body against her" as if he was saying "make room for me!" haha. She doesn't want to be mean and push him off the bed, but with my dad sleeping next to her and my cat pushing against her gives her no room... Even better? Sometimes BOTH my cat and dad snores...
post #19 of 22
Here's what I suggest you try:

When you jump in bed, don't go to sleep straight away. Maybe you can jump into bed earlier than usual, and bring your cat. First off, soothe and stroke her in the precise spot where you want her to sleep. Then, when she wanders off to another spot in the bed, ignore her while doing something extremely interesting, like reading, solving a crossword puzzle, maybe surfing on a laptop.
After a little while, make a few noises, like tapping with a pen or make clicking noises with your mouth while lost in thought. This way, you may catch her attention, so now glance at her for a couple of seconds, then go back to your activity, ignoring her again. Remember, what you're doing is waaay to interesting to give her any attention! Also, staring briefly then ignoring is an invitation in cat body language (betcha didn't know that)!

Maybe this will reel her in.

When she wanders in, put your arm around her, so she can cradle in it. When she eventually starts to bathe while cradling in your arm, you are making headway. A way to stimulate the bathing is to scratch with one finger "in the wrong direction" right in the corner where her back and tail meet. Watch her close her eyes and wag her tongue like a stray missile seeking a target!

It might take time, but these are steps in the right direction. Hey, they worked for me!

One final thought: During the course of the day, you are allowed to play a bit rough with her, since that's what she would be doing with her siblings, but while in bed at night, don't play rough, reinforce the tranquility of the bed. If she decides to start playing rough in bed, gently back away from her.

Good luck.
post #20 of 22
Ours isn't into physical contact whatsoever unless he initiates it. Once he passed the six week mark no holding, no lap sitting, no cuddling, and definitely no sleeping with us. When he's good and ready for some petting he flops himself down on the kitchen floor with his "love me NOW" look and occasionally when we catch him just waking up. Otherwise it's tough luck for us!

He is very social though and follows us around all day and night. He sleeps near me but never touching me.
post #21 of 22
Our older cat only started to want to sleep with me when she was two years old. There's a specific placement I have to abide by (on my left side with a little pillow holding the covers up, and she snuggles into me, and I have to keep my arm over her). One wrong move and she's GONE. All my cats have slept with me as they get older. Kittens, no. Although our 4 1/2 month old kitty sleeps in the guest room and will snuggle with whoever visits us. They make up their own minds, you can only invite them...
post #22 of 22
PJ never sleeps with us. She comes up to visit for about 10 minutes, kneads my arm to death, and then leaves. Teddy is a bed cat - but on his own terms. Usually, he'll sleep at the foot of the bed (even though that means he gets kicked around!)

Our first cat, Sassy, slept on my head and would occasionally groom my hair.
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