Here's what I suggest you try:
When you jump in bed, don't go to sleep straight away. Maybe you can jump into bed earlier than usual, and bring your cat. First off, soothe and stroke her in the precise spot where you want her to sleep. Then, when she wanders off to another spot in the bed, ignore
her while doing something extremely
interesting, like reading, solving a crossword puzzle, maybe surfing on a laptop.
After a little while, make a few noises, like tapping with a pen or make clicking noises with your mouth while lost in thought. This way, you may catch her attention, so now glance at her for a couple of seconds, then go back to your activity, ignoring her again. Remember, what you're doing is waaay to interesting to give her any attention! Also, staring briefly then ignoring is an invitation in cat body language (betcha didn't know that)!
Maybe this will reel her in.
When she wanders in, put your arm around her, so she can cradle in it. When she eventually starts to bathe while cradling in your arm, you are making headway. A way to stimulate the bathing is to scratch with one finger "in the wrong direction" right in the corner where her back and tail meet. Watch her close her eyes and wag her tongue like a stray missile seeking a target!
It might take time, but these are steps in the right direction. Hey, they worked for me!
One final thought: During the course of the day, you are allowed to play a bit rough with her, since that's what she would be doing with her siblings, but while in bed at night, don't play rough, reinforce the tranquility of the bed. If she decides to start playing rough in bed, gently back away from her.