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Biographies - Page 4

post #91 of 387
Brenda - LOL! We have a business associate who "worked out a deal" with his wife: procreate, but only if he doesn't have to change diapers. His daughter is over a year now, and he's only changed diapers twice! Not the relationship I'd want but....

Carla - I know nothing about NASCAR, but how wonderful for you about your day with Jeff! :tounge2:

And Patty, you are my hero. What an incredible story. We're so blessed to have you here among us. Hope all works out for your son. We'll all be here, cheering him on.

Debbie Ann - another hero to many children. Pictures of the kitties?
post #92 of 387
WOW!!! I just want to hold a great big dinner party and invite you all over.

Your stories have made me laugh, cheer, agree with, sigh, cry and most of all have made me feel like I belong to a very, very special group. WOW!!!


My name is Leslie, I am 36 years old. I live with my partner Peter who is 43. We've been together nearly 4 turbulent years. He was married before and has 2 kids (18 and 13 year old boys) We live in Canberra, Australia.

I was born in South West Africa and then lived in England before coming to Australia in 1977. (All by the age of 12)

I have an inherited disease called Porphyria Variegata which affects my liver so I am allergic to most drugs and anaesthetics (very easy to bump me off LOL) Also means I can't drink alcohol (mixed blessing) or sunbake.

This has been the worst year of my life really. My mother died the end of February this year. It was sudden and shocking and I can't get over it. I feel so much guilt and wish I had been able to do more. I have so many things I wish I could ask her. I just need one of her great big cuddles. I don't spend much time with my father. I have a 21 year old brother who I am very close to and I think is the most amazing person I have ever met. I have been sick with colds and depression (never believed in depression) and have recently given up work to get my health and head back together (you have all been a part of helping me do that in more ways than you will ever know).
I have just been told to give up the idea of ever having a baby and have pretty much dealt with that issue now too. So, all in all it’s been a pretty bad year but not as bad as a lot of other peoples, and it is getting better. :-)

I think you have all gotten to see my little Furbabies, Harry, Hayley, Amy and soon to be Tatyana the Blue Russian kitten Woo Hoo!!!! They are everything to me and I love them to death. Amy will be having kittens soon so that will keep me busy too.

I love reading, writing, drawing, cooking, movies, music, acting, gardening, playing with the cats, computer stuff, TheCatSite.com, candles, oil burners, flowers, garage sales, collecting snoopy stuff and blue and white china and blue glass.

So there is a little bit about me, quite boring.

Again thank you for letting me get to know you all better too.

post #93 of 387
This fear everyone has of being "boring" is driving me nuts! NO ONE IS BORING! Being alive is a blessing in itself, as Leslie has so painfully just illustrated.

So sorry to hear of your loss. I am so blessed to have both of my parents. My Dad is a lifetime diabetic, diagnosed with Juvenile Diabetes one year after insulin was discovered. He is about to celebrate his 71st birthday!!!! I consider myself one of the luckiest people in the world.

And as far as bad years go, it hasn't been a good one for us either. My husband Gary had a brain tumor removed last October, had to undergo two surgeries in March and April for stomach and esophageal tumors, bleeding gastroenteritis and other problems (not cancer, thankfully), just underwent back surgery two weeks ago, for which there were complications and has to undergo surgery again this Friday. Poor thing has been living with constant pain for years, which has intensified the past few months. Also we work on "Wall Street." Hubby is the Chief Strategist for a brokerage firm. I am the Senior Equity Analyst and a CFA (Chartered Fincancial Analyst). The stock market has ruined many (fortunately [or unfortunately] Gary's forecasts have been negative, which means on target, for over two years, one of the few). Our income has gone from substantial to a dribble, and with all the medical costs (bad insurance at work - we don't work for one of the large firms), it's been really difficult.

He's turning 40 September 30, but is living in the body of an old man. He's been fighting depresseion, too, but our involvement with feral cats has given us so much, and brought us to this wonderful site.

Thoughts and prayers are with you Leslie.

post #94 of 387
Wow, all these amazing people in one place. I'm constantly amazed by the quality of the people on here. Such giving and kindness by so many.

I totally understand having a very bad year. Mine was the last two years. My mother passed away in January 2000 after a very quick decline in her health due to breast cancer and the latest round of treatment. To this day I believe it was the chemo that killed her, not the cancer. My mother was my best friend so her passing hit me really hard. At the same time over the two years, I was miserable at my job and the stress was causing me health problems. I was having stress induced asthma, and was tested for heart problems, gall bladder problems, and ulcers (luckily all the tests were negative). I did get married in 2000, but I was so depressed and miserable in the other aspects of my life that I didn't even enjoy that. Last year, I lost my job on Labor Day (ironic, huh?) right before the 9/11 attacks. It turned out to be the best thing possible for me. After I wasn't at that office, all the health problems disappeared, and I have even been losing weight! I now have a job that I like, with people that actually appreciate me (the most important part!). Although hubby isn't working, again, I know we can make it though whatever comes our way. Basically what I have learned is that no matter how bad it gets, it does get better eventually.

Carla, that is so cool that you got to lunch with Jeff! I know a few people who would kill for that experience. LOL I really have favorite teams more than drivers - Joe Gibbs Racing and Dale Earnhart, Inc. but I would have to say my two favorites are Tony Stewart and Dale Jr.
post #95 of 387
Leslie and Heidi, I am sorry to hear of the loss of both your mothers. Having lost both my mother and father, (mom 5 years ago, and dad 2 years ago) I know how hard it is.

Laurie, I'm also sorry to hear your husband has to go through yet another surgery this Friday. I hope maybe this one will help him and he won't be in so much pain.

Leslie, I really hope things start looking better for you, my prayers are with you!

Carla!! What a great picture!! He really is a handsome man!
post #96 of 387
I can not even imagine how I would react if my parents died. I would probably lose it. I am VERY close to my family and very grateful for all they have done. My dad has the beginning stages of PKD - Polycystic Kidney Disease. Runs on my Dad's side of the family. His brother just died on my birthday 11/3/2000 at the age of 61. He was on dialysis at that time. His mother, my grandmother, died at the age of 57, 3 months before I was born in '68. My father just turned 60. Knock on wood.

I'm a #48 fan! He is just kicking a** and taking names!

post #97 of 387
Thanks guys

As I said so many people have been through worse. I have been telling everyone I know that has parents and loved ones that may not be too well to get every second of enjoyment, wisdom and togetherness they can. I guess it's a good lesson in life about never taking anything for granted and making a little bit of effort.

valanhb I am sorry about your mum and understand how you feel also. Mum had a very bad asthma attack, my brother called me just after 3 in the mornig to come over. The ambluance was there when I arrived and mum was in a bad state. I couldn't talk to her and I don't think she even knew I was there. She started complaining about pain in her left arm but they just kept pumping adrenalin into her. They got her down the stairs and as they lifted her onto the trolly she went blue. We got her into the ambulance and as there was only two guys I had to pump her heart. Seeing her just lying there looking like that and not being able to get her heart to start will live with me forever. I just keep thinking that if they had started treating her for a heart attack she would still be here. I think all the adrenalin they gave her placed additional strain on her heart. I am angry and sad and I know this isn't the place to talk about such things but I needed to get it off my chest I suppose. I can relate with the health problems I have had to leave work also because of it and I am sure it's stress related for the most part. I am so glad it's working out for you now and you are an inspiration.

LDG I am so sorry about your husband I hope the opperation goes splendidly well. My thoughts and prayers are with you too.

But life does go on and we are lucky in so many other ways. And we all have beautiful kitties. I am so lucky to have found this site and you are all wonderful, strong, positive people that have so much wisdom and advise. I can only hope that I can give half as much as what I have received from you all.

post #98 of 387
Leslie & Heidi,

I just stumbled across your posts tonight and it caught me off guard a little. I just want to tell you both that if you ever need to talk about your mom's, I am here. I, for one, understand that sometimes, we just need to tell someone how much we miss our mom's and how much they meant to us.

This morning, I was driving to work and had one of my "moments".

Mom died November 20th (the day of her car accident) but was on life support until November 28th. When they took the respirator off of her, she died within the hour. It brings me more comfort believing she died instantly. But, on another hand, I am thankful for having been given the chance to go and hold her hand one last time.

She had decided to make a quick trip to the corner store because her printer ran out of ink. It was during one of the very first snow storms. On her way back, she was going uphill and started fishtailing. She collided with a gravel truck and needless to say, she did not have a chance. Sad part is, she was less than 2 minutes away from home.

Well, mom was my whole life. Even though she was pretty far away, I used to talk to her on a daily basis or we'd make sure to send an email, in case it was too late to call.

I am still struggling with this loss. Some days are harder than others and today, it was one of those days. I heard Kenny Chesneys song "That's the good stuff" and had a mini-cry on the way to work!

I miss her sooooo much. I still believe, to this day that a part of me died when she did. I do not understand why it is taking me this long to grieve. I think of her, I cry. I remember things about her, I cry. I guess, in time...

I know everyone here cannot even imagine how much they have all meant to me. Not knowingly, you have all played a part in my healing process. Each night, before going to bed, I check in and I send off my daily "email". Through all of you, I am sure she is listening.

God Bless and Thank you all for being there.
post #99 of 387
Ghyslaine, I remember you telling us about the accident and how horrible it was for you!!! I'm so sorry for your loss!

Quote by Bundylee....

I am angry and sad and I know this isn't the place to talk about such things but I needed to get it off my chest I suppose.


Leslie, you can talk about things like that any time you want on this site. That is what the lounge is for, sharing, asking advice, seeking comfort, and talking about cats and anything else on our minds!

I talked about my father ALOT 2 years ago, I had just joined this site about 2 months after he died. I found alot of support here. I remember Deb25 really helped me alot because she had been through it as well.
post #100 of 387
Whisker's mom

Thank you for sharing your story and for your support. I am there for you too. I had to cry when I read your story, it's just so shocking and you feel the pain of that every moment. My worst times is when I lie in bed at night and it's dark, I start to remember things then, and just can't handle the pain. But I guess we do handle it. I, like you feel cheated. They should still be with us. God Here go the tears again.

If you or anyone else wants to eamil me and talk this through or let's just share the pain please do so.

I just can't tell you all enough just how special, kind and beautiful you all are.
post #101 of 387
Leslie...could I ask a small favor? Could you add your first name to the bottom of your posts so I and others will remember it? You don't have to, but it makes it so much more personal to call people by their names, and I tend to forget so easily!! I would take you up on the offer to talk about the pain of my father dying...but if I did, I wouldn't even sleep tonight...it is still way to painful. I was right there when he died, holding his hand till his last breathe, and the look in his eyes still haunts me. It was unbearable, but yet I am glad I was there. I loved him so much!!!

I have so enjoyed these biographies, and getting to know you all better!!!!!!!
post #102 of 387
Thanks Debby

I will be there for you. When ever you need me.

I will go fix my name thing now.

post #103 of 387
What a great support group we have here. You guys don't know how much I wish I would have found this place sooner. None of my friends understood what I was going through since they have not lost a parent, and most of them don't have the greatest relationship with their parents either.

Leslie and Ghys. - don't ever let anyone tell you that you are grieving too long. Every person deals with it in their own way, in their own time. All I can tell you is that although the pain never goes away, it does get easier to deal with on a day to day basis. The first year is the hardest, by far. When I talked to my dad on the 1st anniversary, he said that it was only going to get easier since it won't be the 1st time of doing things without her - birthdays, Christmas, Easter. He had lost his mother a couple years before that so I figured he knew what he was talking about, and he did.

Like others, I am here for you guys, too.
post #104 of 387
Thank you Heidi

I am in the same boat, none of my friends understand either and although Peter has been there for me he doesn't quite get it either. It is hard the 1st year (and I'm only half way through it ) Both me and my brother were extreamly close to mum. As she died end of February, next came her birthday in April, my Brothers 21st in May, Easter, Mothers day and to come Dads birthday and mine and Christmas. I know it will get easier......

You are right about what a great support group we have I didn't think there was going to be this amount of understanding and togetherness, it has been such a big help and comfort to know there are many in this forum that have gone/going through the same thing. I hope I can help so much also.

Again Thank you
post #105 of 387
I too lost my father. It will be 4 years on January 7th. I still miss him so much and I think about him almost every day. Holidays and his birthday and Father's Day are especially hard, but I so often find myself thinking, "Oh my Dad would have said this or that. or my Dad would know the answer to that. Or hoping that he approves of what I have done with my life since he passed.

I know that people say that this whole thing is a scam, but I bought a star in my Dad's name when he died. There are several websites where you can do this, I used http://www.starregistry.com
I had the star named after him and dedicated on the date of his death. It may sound hokey, but when I presented my Mom with the certificate, it brought her to tears. And it brings me comfort to look to the heavens where "his" star is located.

It makes me so sad that my Dad will not be here to walk me down the aisle when I get married. My older brother has offered to walk with me, and I love him for that, but I so wish my Dad could be present to "give his little girl away".

And yes, no one should ever tell anyone how long they should grive over the loss of someone. Everyone heals in their own time and in their own way. It's been 4 years for me and sometimes my Dad will pop into my mind and my eyes will well up with tears...just because I miss him so much.

It is also difficult because he passed the day after my birthday. He called me the evening of January 6th to wish me a happy birthday and to make plans to get together over the weekend for a birthday dinner for myself and my Mom (her birthday is January 5th). The following day my brother called to say my Dad had been rushed to the hospital and had passed away (they live in New Jersey and I am in Delaware). I really don't look forward to my birthday any longer and neither does my Mom.

The good thing is that I talked to him just the night before and the last words he said to me were, "Happy Birthday Pebbles (his nickname for me), I love you". I replied, "I love you too Daddy".

It does get easier with the passing of time...but the hurt never goes away...
post #106 of 387
Hi everyone,

Just popped back to this thread and it is quite an amazing one.

My heart goes out to hear of everyone's loss. I also know the deep pain and sorrow of the death of loved ones.Here is some background.

On my sister's wedding in 1985 my father began to feel tired and not his usual self. After many doctor's visits and tests he found out he had colon cancer. They started the regular chemo sessions which kept him "alive" for close to 4 years. I put "alive" in quotations since he was not living during those 4 years, he was just enduring a slow death (in my opinion). When he passed away I just turned 17.

Six months before my father's death, my grandmother (the only grandparent I knew) went in for knee surgery. Within 24 hours of "routine" surgery she was on life support, then passed away when we made the most horrible decision one has to make - to take her off life support.

It was very hard since I had no one to speak to. All my friends were getting ready for what university they would be attending and the prom. No one I knew even experienced death. My mother was a basket case since we were a small family and she just lost half of it.

To make a long story short, for me, the pain never went away. I pushed it down deep and never spoke of it. This was a serious mistake! When I hit a period of unemployment and financial problems, the pain of the deaths resurfaced and threw me for a loop. I managed to get my life back on track, but it was very difficult to deal with such a deep hurt.

My best friends mother just passed away last month. Her fiance called me to tell me the news and it hit me as if my own mother had died. Going to the funeral and giving my friend support was so hard! I broke down twice before seeing her at the visitation since I knew exactly how she was feeling (and I didn't want anyone to endure such loss). The news of her death transported me right back to the day my father died.

From someone who has experienced the death of a parent, please DO NOT hide your emotions away! Get the pain, frustration, and anger out. Try to find a way to cope (even if it means to have a tear fall at the end of each day!)Plus, there is NO correct amount of time or way to grieve. Look at me, I just turned 30 - 13 years after the death of my father and grandmother. I go on each day, as each day unfolds. But one never forgets the most deep human emotions of sorrow and regret.

I still sometimes feel like the helpless 17 year old wondering what future my life will have without my father. But life goes on, the never ending cycle of life....and you too will go on when another life fails. It's not easy, but it's a necessity of life.

I extend my warmest thoughts at this time.
post #107 of 387

I know what you are saying about not looking forward to your birthday anymore.

I was to have a birthday dinner at my Dad's on Nov. 4, a day after my b-day in 1994. I had told my grandparents that I'll come by beforehand as they were on the way. I got behind in things and had to call and tell them I'll catch them some other time. My mom calls me on Nov. 7 and tells me "Grandpa just died". He developed a blood clot to the brain from a fall and died that day. To this day, I regret not making time for them. From there until Grandma died August 1997 from a stroke, I spent as much time with her as I could. Now when I make plans with family, I keep it unless I break a leg or something.

For about 4-5 years after that, my b-day wasn't a big deal. It still isn't much, but it gives me an excuse to PARTY! (My uncle died ON my b-day 2000.)

If someone told me I should stop grieving for a death, I'd punch them in the mouth.

post #108 of 387
Wow. So much heartache. I think the star idea is a great one.

I have a sweet story about death, if there is such a thing. My mom's dad was my favorite Grandparent. He was a sheep and chicken farmer near Allentown, PA. I spent every August until sometime in High School there. I saw him every year. I would write to him every month on the first of the month, no matter where in the world I was. He died of cancer 10 years ago. He didn't suffer long, but when the end came it was a relief to know he was no longer suffering. To this day, on the first of every month, I think to myself, "I have to write a letter to Grandpa." And you know what? I do. I just have no place to mail it.
post #109 of 387
Carla, Kassandra, Kieth and Laurie...I am sorry to hear of all of your losses. It IS very very hard!!!!!!!

As far as friends not understanding the time it takes us to grieve and how we deal with it....I lost my "best" (and I say that lightly now) friend 6 months after my father died, because she could not understand the changes in me and thought I had just grieved long enough. She said some terrible things to me, including that I was just using this to get attention, and I needed to deal with reality, and even get professional help if that's what it took. She hurt me very badly, but I now realize, she never was a true friend. My TRUE friends stuck beside me through the whole thing, no matter how long it took!!!

As far as dad....he was my rock. I mean I could lean on him anytime, he was ALWAYS there for me...so it hit me pretty hard.

The day he died,( 2 years ago last month) he had had a stroke 2 months before, just out of the blue...I mean even though he was 82 he was still very active, and helped my brother farm, etc...and he lived in his own house and drove his car, very much still active. Then after the stroke....I am the one who took him to the hospital....I had called him and he didn't answer. I called and called...knowing full well he was home...finally he answered...I said, "Dad....where were you?" he said....I was there, but couldn't get up off the floor to answer the phone" I said "What are you talking about? Why were you on the floor?" He said, "I don't know...I just was" that's when I knew something was wrong...I rushed over there, to find him on the floor again. I called a friend and she came and helped me get him into my car....no time for an ambulance to drive 20 minutes there from the nearest hospital...we took him oursleves.

When he got there...he thought the year was 1920 something, and wasn't sure who the president was, etc...(they asked him alot of questions to determine if he had suffered a stroke, before testing him)

Hearing him answer those questions wrong just killed me!!!! He was SO confused!!!!!!

He was in the hospital for several weeks. He seemed to get better.....then they said he should go to the nursing home, just for awhile till he got wel enough to go back home. So we put him in....temporarily or so we thought.

He was in there for only a few weeks and started to go downhill..he didn't know my middle or last name just my first, and when I would go see him he would say him and mom had went to such and such a place that day....mom had been dead for 3 years then, and he hadn't left the nursing home that day....I would say..."no dad....you were here today....you are just confused" he would say "Oh, I know I am so confused....can you help me?????"

It broke my heart.

Then one day at work, my brother called and said dad was doing very poorly, I'd better come. I went right over....dad was gasping for every breath he took. We could have called the hospital, and had them send an ambulance, and maybe prolonged his life for just awhile longer...but we knew dad missed mom, and also that he was ready to meet God, and it would have been selfish of us to wish him to stay and live without his mind and in the nursing home forever. So we prayed about it, and held dad's hand. It wasn't until my brother told my father (with tears in his eyes) that it was okay, he could go now if he wanted to, and he said, "don't worry dad, I will look after Debby" and then that's when dad squeezed my hand and passed away.

Wow..it is so hard to talk about.

I think about it on all holidays and the date of his birthday...and especially fathers day.

I wasn't as close to my mother, although her passing was hard for me also...but it was easier to take, since she had been in the nursing home with her mind gone for 10 years before she died. We had expected it any day now for 10 years. I was only 21 when mom first had her strokes and her mind left. The next 10 years were pretty rough, as she couldn't even talk or feed herself. She died 5 years ago. I miss her too, but dad was what hit me the hardest.

Thanks so much for listening.
post #110 of 387
Oh Debby I am so sorry about your losses too. It's great that we can be supportive off each other, again everyone here is so wonderful.

I know what you mean about your friend (EX) I have the same thing, I have pretty much just stopped contact with most people as I am tired of them coming into my home and telling me their problems and then how I should behave and feel. I only have one true friend who has been there for me and her mum died about 2 years ago now so she and I understand each other.

It's funny but it really is the time when you need people the most that you find they can't be there for you. I was always the listener, the fixer, the dependable one that can solve anything for my friends yet, when I needed it in return it just didn't happen.

I tend to prefer my own company and my cats to those people who can't be unselfish enough to see that maybe now is not the right time to tell me about their problems and everyone elses problems they know.

That's why this forum has been such a god send to me because I can open up, talk to others about everything, help others and belong to something again.

Thank you all so much.
post #111 of 387
Almost a year ago, my brother called, with he news that my dad was being admitted, to the hospital. They thought it was either pneumonia or a stroke. Bill didn't think twice. He said, "Let's go."

It took us an hour to get there and, my parents weren't there. We called their house and got no answer. After a while, my nephew, who lives with them, called my brother and told him that my dad had come home, alone and told him that MOM was in the hospital. We decided to go to their house and make calls, from there.

We called the Sheriff's Dept. and every hospital in town, with no luck. Then, someone from their church called and said that my dad had left Mom there. We hightailed it over there.

There were sheriffs, ambulances and firemen all over. Mom was in a police car, OK. My dad was standing by his truck, laughing and joking with the cops.

It was, finally, agreed to leave their truck their. Mike took my dad and Bill and I took Mom to the hospital. My dad was walking funny and I thought, surely, he'd had a stroke.

Turned out, it was walking pneumonia and the fever had made him act weird. Needless to say, this scared the heck out of us. Mom's in a wheelchair and insulin-dependent. As the oldest and with a medical background, I'm the logical caretaker.

When we went house-hunting, Bill flat-out said: we find a house that can accomodate your mom, too.

Fortunately, my dad has recovered, with no lasting effects but, he IS 75. Bill has got to be the sweetest man alive. He has no qualms about moving Mom in, if we have to.

All things considered, I expect Mom to go first. She's had three heart attacks, a stroke and double-bypass. My Dad's parents lived into their 90s, he hasn't smoked or drank, since 1970 and watches his diet. Its scary, to think of losing either of them, though. I don't think that Mom would survive long, without him.
post #112 of 387
That is so wonderful of Bill to be so caring of your family!!!!! You are a lucky woman to have a man like that!
post #113 of 387
I am sorry to hear how many of you have lost parents. I guess no matter how much we disagree with them when they're around, there's still an empty place when they're gone. I only see my parents about once a month, we talk on the phone a feew times a month, but I can't imagine them not being there.

Cindy, I know what you mean about your mom not lasting long if your dad goes first. I'm not sure either of my parents would live long after the other's passing. They rely on each other so much. They have been married for 36 years, and they are still so much in love.

I used to think that my Dad would be stronger, but I don't know. A few months ago, they had a close call with another driver, who swerved into their path, then off the road into a house. My dad said if that driver had hurt my mom, he would have shot him. My dad is a former Marine and state trooper, and always carries a pistol. That makes me think he wouldn't be around long, either.

The scary thing is, my mom just had her yearly oncologist appointment. She had a cancerous lump removed about 10 years ago, at the time, they got all the cancer. Now, she has another lump exactly where that one was on her neck, and one under her arm. She has snother doctor's appointment in 6 months, so it's obviously not an emergency, but I can tell she's worried.
post #114 of 387
Brenda I hope your mum will be fine, your dad sounds so cool. I think it's wonderful they are still so much in love.
post #115 of 387
Brenda, I hope everything will be okay when your mom goes to the doctor, but like you said, they must not think it is anything too serious or they wouldn't be making her wait so long.
post #116 of 387
I think this is fabulous to finally learn something about the people whose posts I read every time I can. My name is Dalles but I am called Dee. In actual years I'm 57 but there's still a 21 year old inside that sometimes pouts because she has to share a body with this "old lady". Although I consider myself religious I'm not really into most organized churchs. I think I'm pretty spiritual in nature. I'm very much into nature, water and am interested in learning more about the Goddess. Before I hear any indrawn breaths I will tell you that no that is not some weirded out cult religion. Its simply feeling and being close to the earth and mother nature and being at peace with all things.

I was born in Roseburg, Oregon, finished highschool there and attended the University of Oregon. I majored in journalism (I was going to be a great writer) and minored in psychology. I never got into journalism and spent almost 30 years in social services working with the disabled. Three years ago due to health problems I had to medically retire. My husband Butch and I have been together 20 years and married for 15. He is a disabled Marine veteran. I have 2 stepdaughters and we have 5 grandchildren who live in Seattle. We live in a very wee country town in eastern Washington State.

I'm not much for TV but love to read. Adore David Eddings, Ann McCaffery, Patricia Cornwell and Nora Roberts among many others. I love country music mostly although I do have a thing for Yanni. Although I'm not Irish I loved River Dance with Michael Flatley and the stage productions he did after. I have them all on video and Irish music really gets the blood pumping.

I love seafood, cooking and I loved to paint. I can no longer paint because of the arthritis in my hands. I love rodeos and fairs, I always ride the ferris wheel.

Many of you were talking about the loss of your parent or parents. I lost my mom the 24th of February this year. I was not there. I had come home 1 day before and was going back in 4 days. I had come home to spend a couple of days with Butch and the furkids, our 15th anniversary was the 28th. I had been there with mom since the 1st of January. She was supposed to have several months yet. When my dad, sisters and I went to the funeral home to see her I went totally to pieces. Mom and I were very very close. I am the oldest. When the others left I took a pair of sissors I carry in my purse and cut a lock of her hair. I carry it in a small envelop in my wallet. In spite of my faith all I could do was cry and ask where she was. My belief and family members tell me she is in heaven. That had no meaning for me then and to be honest still doesn't. How long does one grieve? I don't know but 8 months later I am no closer to accepting her death than I was when I got the 5 a.m. call. Its beyond difficult to try to put the pieces together. Mom was very ill towards the last and in much pain. Would I want her back knowing how sick she was? Faith says no. My selfish heart says yes even if only for an hour. I told her I loved her numerous times daily but I was not there when the end came and I had promised her I would be. She was cremated and her ashes are in a beautiful blue and gold urn. It sits on a small table next to Dad's recliner along with her rings and picture. It comforts him to have her there. I still face losing dad. He is 85 and pretty healthy for his age but the time will come. I don't know how I will bear it. This loss is the one thing in my life I am not at peace with. I still hear her call my name. I have been told by others that the pain will ease in time. I take care of my husband, my furbabies, talk and laugh with my neighbors, take care of my house, shop, visit with my sisters, talk with my Dad and do all the daily business of living but I'm doing it with a gaping bloody hole in my heart. I don't think it will ever heal and will only get bigger when I lose Dad. I'm grateful that I had her for all of my life until now. I only wish I had been there.

Its 3:30 a.m. here. Its taken me well over an hour to write the last paragraph. Its hard to type and sob at the same time. Am I strange or is feeling this way all part of grieving? My little Nikkie came in a few minutes ago when I was crying hard and he jumped up on my desk and pushed his nose in my face. Then he climbed up on the back of my chair and he's lying there with one paw on my shoulder. He's such a dear.

Well, enough about me. I'm so glad to know about all the rest of you.
Blessed Be everyone.
Mom to Jessie, Nikkie, Luckie, Lady, Sammy & Sassy
post #117 of 387
Looks like I'm kind of late on this but here goes....

I'm Jessica and I'm 20 years old and live in MA with my boyfriend of four and a half years, Brian. I work as a vet tech in one of the bigger hospitals on Cape although I'd rather be doing something else.... What that something is I have no idea so for now the job pays well so I won't complain.

Brian works for an excavating company doing slave labor for a boss who we both think has ties with the mob. I've been pushing him to find another job elsewhere but it's hard when you've been somewhere for a while and you get comfortable.

I have four cats, Mitzi, Fallon, Sampson and Xavier along with two dogs Scooby(I HATE his name!) and Natala. The cats are crazy and wild and are a constant source of entertainment but nothing that stands out except for Sampson's unbelievable cuteness and his love for all grain products.

Scooby, my pride and joy is currently going through obedience courses right now to either learn agility or I'll continue on to level 3 and use him in obedience competitions. It's a lot of fun and it's nice to see the hard work and PATIENCE you put into it come out in the dog's proformance.

Natala, the old lady is hanging in there. I see a little decline in her health every day and I worry about how much of a toll the winter weather is going to take on her. She has severe hip dysplasia(Is a disease that causes the dog's hips to weaken, deteriorate and become arthritic) and I think the effects of senility are setting in.

I also do some pet sitting on the side for my friend who owns her own pet sitting company. It's a lot of fun but from the little I do I can see why she's so burnt out. I hate doing visits at night and thankfully they are not the norm. I recently had to make a visit to this diabetic cat's house to give him his insulin and a very dark and bushy neighborhood. I must have looked silly to the neighbors running to and from my car with this huge flash light I brought with me for more as a comfort thing rather than to see. I guess I watch too many crime shows.

I read a lot, mostly about fitness and nutrition. I guess you can call me a health nut in training. I like to jog when the weather is warmer but now that it's getting cold out I'll stick with indoor activities. Although I do eat healthy my two weaknesses are cheesecake and twislers.... Neither of the two are allowed in my house.**grins**

My parents are divorced although several years after they divorced they tried to get back together but it only lasted two weeks. My mom went on to marry the father of my brother(9) and sister(7) who is an abusive jerk and their marriage came to an end when she found he was doing cocaine at night while she worked while he was watching my brother and sister. I say good riddence. :p

That's all I can think of for now. I don't lead a very exciting life. Just work, come home and work some more. I don't mind though... It's very comfortable.
post #118 of 387
Jessica, I enjoyed reading your bio!

Dee....you are not strange at all for feeling like you do. It has only been 8 months...it is perfectly normal to still be grieving so much. I wish someone would have told me this when my father died. I was told by a x best friend that I needed to get over it, get on with my life and deal with reality, only 6 months after he had died. She of course is no longer my friend because of that and a few other reasons.

I had to take anti-depressants for a year after dad died, and even though it has been 2 years now, I still cry when I think about him, and get to missing him so darn much, and I hear his voice on a tape, or see him on a video, and it makes me so sad. I was very close to my father. I was daddy's girl, his only daughter...they had 3 boys, and dad had wanted a girl so bad, but had given up...then when mom was 46 and dad was almost 48, she got pregnant (an accident) and there I was 9 months later!!!

Dad was so proud!!!!!! He just beamed in the pictures of him holding me!!!!

I was never as close to my mother, although I miss her, too, but she was a bit jealous of the bond my father and I had, I think, and she had some mental problems as well. She had strokes,(when I was 21) and her mind had been gone for 10 years before she died 5 years ago.
It was hard to lose her, because I loved her very much, but it was not the same as losing dad....that was the hardest!!!!!

I wish so badly that my father could have lived to see me have a daughter of my own...he would have loved Amber!!!

When I look at her, sometimes I see my father in her...I think she looks a bit like him!!!!! I will make sure she knows all about Grandpa Merle, even though he is no longer with us.

You are normal in still grieving. Although it is a bit easier for me, now that it has been 2 years, it is still very very hard, and I think it always will be. I just miss him so much! I have never even taken his phone number off my speed dial, even though it is someone elses's phone number now. Of course I don't call it....although when he first died, I did, alot, just to know it was ringing into his house, (it was still his number then) until of course the phone was disconnected.

We are hear for you if you need to talk about it, ever. Or you can e-mail me.
post #119 of 387
What a great idea. Especially seeing as I'm new to the site.
Ok then....well....
My name is Louise and I'm nearly 33 (on the 25th of this month). My partner Lee is 30 and we live in a small country town in Australia called Yass. Yass is not far from Canberra, the capital city of Australia.
I was born in Canberra and grew up there and bought a house in Yass back in 1993.
Lee and I both work in Canberra, in the Information Technology industry. I am a software testing manager and he's currently working as a system engineer.
Lee is originally from Brisbane and we met online nearly 2 years ago now. We met in person in December 2000 and have been together ever since then. He moved here from Brisbane after we met.
I spent most of my life working for an IT area within a government department until I resigned a few years ago. I spent a while working in contract IT positions until starting a permanent job with a great company in October 2001 as their software testing manager.
Lee has spent a lot of time in USA. He studied at MIT and the University of Washington and has a doctorate in planetary sciences. Lee has worked with places like NASA and Lockheed Martin. Here in Australia though there isn't a lot of work in his field, so at the moment he's working in IT which has always been another of his interests.
Our plans for the future are still a little uncertain but will most likely include going back over to the USA at some stage (I've never been there myself so that will be great). Later on we'd like to settle in the north of Australia, where Lee is originally from.
We have no kids, unless you count our very spoiled russian blue kitten Orion...lol
Orion is 9 months old now and soon he will be joined by a russian black kitten.
My interests are drag racing (yes I do race myself), astronomy, astrology, volleyball, cats, reading (in particular Stephen King, Dean Koontz and JRR Tolkien), wicca, tarot, computers, etc.
Lee's interests are astrophysics, space exploration, electronics, aerospace, chess, climbing, flying, astronomy, volleyball, computers, etc.
We also both enjoy going out to movies and dinner together.
Well I guess that's enough rambling on...lol
Feel free to check out our website if you like: http://www.geocities.com/purringpanther69au
Thanks for reading this novel!
post #120 of 387
Dee Thank you for sharing your story, your Mum passed away the day before mine. I am so sorry! We are in email contact now so I'll respond to that in an email to you! It is still very raw and personal for all of us no matter how long ago it was as everyone here knows and feels.

Jessica Great to meet you and I am happy things are better for you now! My you meet your boyfriend young and it's great to see you are together! it's so sweet.

Debby All I can say is I understand and we are all here for you too!

Louise I'm learning more about you everyday!!
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